10 Worst Movie Premises

10 Worst Movie Premises of All-Time

10. No Such Thing (2002)-

A supposed modern "Beauty and the Beast" with mousy reporter Sarah Polley encountering an angry, depressed, alcoholic monster played by a hopefully well-paid Robert John Burke. Then when Polley convinces the monster to come to New York with her, it turns into a mixture of "King Kong" and a satire on media and celebrity. At no point, however, does it become even remotely watchable. One of the most inexplicably bad films I've ever seen, the premise is just ridiculous.

9. Freddy Got Fingered (2001)-

Tom Green's notorious starring vehicle about a slacker wannabe cartoonist who accuses his dad of committing the title act on his brother. Oh, the hilarity. How did this even get released? And where in the hell is Tom Green these days, come to think of it?

8. Runaway (1984)-

I always knew Michael Crichton was a hack, but this idea takes the cake; It's set in a future where robots are used in just about every aspect of our daily lives. Tom Selleck is a cop who tracks down errant robots as part of a special unit of the police force. Gene Simmons of KISS is the evil robot maker who turns robots into killing machines. Oh shut up, this is just stupid. It's the kind of plot a 6 year-old would devise.

7. The Terror of Tiny Town (1938)-

The first (and hopefully last) all-midget western-musical. Forget the actual plot, which is just your standard 'townie' western, the novelty premise, and scenes of little people walking under saloon doors, and riding Shetland ponies make this a staple of 'Worst Film of All-Time' lists. Bloody boring, for the most part, just track down the trailer if you can because it’s hilarious.

6. Under the Rainbow (1981)-

Nazi spies, including dwarf Billy Barty mix it up with hard-partying midgets staying at Adam Arkin's hotel whilst they film "The Wizard of Oz". Seriously. Chevy Chase plays a Secret Service agent, whilst Carrie Fisher to this day seems apologetic about this embarrassing flop. The weird thing is, the awfulness of this premise almost makes watching it worthwhile. Almost. And you'd have to be drunk.

5. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)-

I could leave it right there, really, couldn't I? Anyway, Mars decides it needs a Santa Claus of its own 'coz the kids are depressed, so they decide to kidnap our St. Nick. Oh, and it's a musical too. A staple of 'Worst Film of All-Time' lists, and for too many reasons to list here.

4. Knock-Off (1998)-

Rob Schneider is back, this time he's got Jean-Claude Van Damme with him in an action movie where they play fashion designers who specialise in cheap imitations. Apparently their latest batch of clothes feature tiny explosive devices. That result in green explosions. 'Coz apparently the regular kind just isn't cool enough for director Tsui Hark. Seriously, read that plot again, it's hilarious. The film itself isn't anywhere near as fun. One suspects a lotta coke was snorted on that set.

Look at that title, folks. It's a journey to Uranus. Planet Methane. Pronounce it Ur-ahn-us if you want, but we all know what it really rhymes with. One of a kind, but a stinker. Shut up, that was funny. I mean, even “Journey to the 9th Planet” would’ve been a better title, and Pluto’s not even considered a planet anymore!

Based on an acclaimed stage play, this is the worst film ever made by the great director Sidney Lumet. It's about shrink Richard Burton trying to get through to a young mental patient who likes to ride horses naked. Seriously, that's what I got from it, and to be honest, I don't even want to think about it anymore than that.

It really doesn't surprise me that this marked Rob Schneider's directorial debut. I mean, no one else would dare direct a film with such an offensive and homophobic premise; Schneider's a shonky real estate guy headed to prison for his dodgy dealings. Afraid of prison rape, he hires the late David Carradine to teach him martial arts to prevent himself from being made someone's bitch. By some Satanic miracle t doesn't end up being the worst film of all-time, but that's the only praise this turd's going to get from me, even with Schneider's half-arsed attempts to differentiate homosexuality from prison rape. How very PC of you, Rob, you schmuck.


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