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Review: Violent Night

On Christmas Eve, disillusioned Santa Claus (David Harbour) stumbles onto a heist in progress as ‘Scrooge’ (John Leguizamo) and his criminal team (Mitra Suri and Brendan Fletcher among them) pose as caterers for a wealthy family hosting a family Christmas party. They’re there to rob the vault of family matriarch Gertrude (Beverly D’Angelo). Santa was just stopping by for the free alcohol but his better/violent instincts kick in and he decides to help young Trudy (Leah Brady) and her affluent brood. Cam Gigandet plays the idiot actor boyfriend of D’Angelo’s alcoholic daughter Alva (Edi Patterson).   Mel Gibson gave us a gun-running Santa in the slightly underrated “Fatman” , and now David Harbour and director Tommy Wirkola (the slightly overrated “Dead Snow” ) put their own spin on the ‘Christmas Action Movie’ idea with this 2022 film. I’m still likely to go with “Die Hard” , “Lethal Weapon” , or “First Blood” (yes, there’s Christmas decorations in it) for my ‘Christmas Action...
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Review: Scream VI

Sisters Jenna Ortega and Melissa Barrera face a new Ghostface killer in New York, whilst Hayden Panettiere shows up as Kirby Reed, now an FBI agent. Reporter Gail Weathers (Courteney Cox) is back too, as are several other characters from previous “Scream” films, particularly the previous one (including twins played by Jasmin Savoy Brown and Mason Gooding). Dermot Mulroney plays a detective who is also the father of Liano Liberato who plays Barrera’s new roommate. Henry Czerny has a small role as a therapist, and Samara Weaving appears early as a University professor.   I liked the first “Scream” film just fine, and at the time I enjoyed “Scream 2” and “Scream 3” slightly less ‘just fine’. Over the years though, I’ve found I just don’t care about the latter two at all anymore. Or the franchise as a whole to be honest. The original is all you need, though I will say this 2023 film from directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett is a step and a quarter up from the dire...
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Review: The Wasp Woman (1960)

Michael Mark plays a disgruntled scientist specialising in wasps who gets fired from his job. Mark discovers that the royal jelly created by wasps has greater rejuvenating properties than that of bees, and takes his services to New York and the cosmetics company owned by Susan Cabot. Cabot even tries the stuff herself, and it works wonders on her aging skin. There are side effects, however…     Although much closer to a B-movie than a Z-movie, this 1960 film from director Roger Corman ( “Little Shop of Horrors” , “A Bucket of Blood” , “Fall of the House of Usher” , “Tomb of Ligeia” ) still isn’t quite good enough to get a B- rating or full recommendation from me. The performances by Susan Cabot, Michael Mark, and Barboura Morris stand out, and the plot and dialogue aren’t too shabby, either. Scripted by actor Leo Gordon (who also wrote “Attack of the Giant Leeches” and “The Terror” for Corman), the setting in the beauty/rejuvenation world is clever, and certainly better...
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Review: Dorian Gray (1970)

Set in London in the late 60s, the vain young man of the title (Helmut Berger) is aimlessly drifting through life when he poses for his artist friend Richard Todd. Meanwhile he is encouraged into debauchery and decadence by jaded Herbert Lom, as Dorian also takes the virginity of young actress Marie Liljedahl. But Dorian starts to resent the portrait that is ageless whilst he’s doomed to mortality. Well actually, a funny thing starts to happen with that painting…   Schlock producer Harry Alan Towers gives us a relatively serious adaptation of the Oscar Wilde novel in this 1970 film and almost pulls it off. The film is OK for what it is, but none of the actors beyond Helmut Berger and Herbert Lom offer up accomplished enough performances to make this approach work. So it might’ve been better for Towers to encourage director Massimo Dallamano (cinematographer on two of Sergio Leone’s “Dollars” trilogy) to ratchet up the exploitation content. Or better yet, bring in old friend J...
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Review: Pit Fighter (2005)

Dominique Vandenberg plays an amnesiac pit fighter, who is managed by mafia-connected Steven Bauer. Vandenberg keeps having flashes of a woman (Stana Katic) whose identity he can’t yet place, but slowly it all starts to come back to him. Scott Adkins has a non-fighting role as a man from Vandenbeg’s past, whilst Stephen Graham plays a character connected to Katic.   An early collaboration between writer-director Jesse V. Johnson and martial arts actor Scott Adkins, this dreadful 2005 film is a long way from “Savage Dog” , “Accident Man” , and “Avengement” . Adkins was still in the early stages of his career and thus is barely an extra here in what may be the worst film he’s been involved in. Yes, worse than “Max Cloud” , “Black Mask 2” , “Dead Reckoning” , and “The Legend of Hercules” . It’s been poorly edited, it’s needlessly confusing and dreadfully boring. I wonder how Johnson looks back on this one because his films are usually competent at the very least, whereas the narra...
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Review: The Boxer’s Omen (1983)

Lung-Wei Wang plays a boxer who gets permanently disabled by the hulking, cheating Bu-bo (Bolo Yeung). His brother Chan Hung (Phillip Ko) a small-time crook, is having a bit of a tough time of it himself. Not only have the chieftains of his criminal gang been killed by rival gangsters, but Chan Hung himself gets kidnapped only to be saved by some kind of ghostly monk. More ghostly visions occur, so he goes to a Buddhist temple where he learns his arrival was foretold by the deceased chief abbot. This abbot tried to put an end to some black magic practitioners who eventually destroyed him, or at least part of him. His soul remains alive inside his decaying human body. Now Chan Hung has arrived to fulfill the prophecy, he is asked to become a monk and help the abbot take down the black magicians. But first, he takes on Bu-bo in revenge for his brother.   If you enjoyed 1986’s “The Seventh Curse” , director Chih-Hung Kuei and co-writer On Szeto (who wrote the enjoyable “The Magic ...
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Review: Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972)

Frustrated author (Luigi Pistilli) spends most of his time hosting booze-soaked orgies at his family estate, and being a general abusive arsehole to his wife (Anita Strindberg). The black cat roaming the estate doesn’t treat wifey very kindly, either. Complications arise with a couple of murders taking place on castle grounds, and the sudden arrival of Pistilli’s niece (Edwige Fenech). The latter will spark an arousal in both Strindberg and Pistilli.   As much as I love Italian horror, the more I delve into giallo the more I think I might not be on board with this side of the Italian horror aisle. This 1972 Sergio Martino ( “Slave of the Cannibal God” , “Torso” – a decent giallo) film is one of the big misses. It’s well-acted but I don’t understand its popularity at all, it’s boring and filled with people I didn’t remotely care about. It’s not even very stylish, which isn’t something I often say about this subgenre. I didn’t pick the killer, but I also didn’t care enough to t...
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Review: Armed Response (1986)

Bar owner and ‘nam veteran David Carradine teams up with his crusty ex-cop father (Lee Van Cleef) to take on Yakuza boss Mako and his gang after they kill Carradine’s idiot brother (David Goss). Ross Hagen plays Goss’ turncoat partner, Michael Berryman and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa are henchmen, Dick Miller and Laurene Landon are another couple of crooks. Brent Huff plays Carradine’s other brother.   A pretty incredible B cast is at the mercy of C-movie veteran director Fred Olen Ray ( “The Tomb” , “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers” , “Beverly Hills Vamp” , “Wizards of the Demon Sword” ) in this deathly paced 1986 action movie. To call it one of the better Fred Olen Ray films I’ve seen says little in the film’s favour. The film is too damn short to be so damn slow, and there’s also a severe lack of action for a supposed action movie. Did we really need all those super slow-mo war flashbacks?   It’s also unevenly acted, with Lee Van Cleef and particularly Ross Hagen and Mako the b...
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