Shameless Self Expression

Isabelle Mejias is the title disturbed teenager who plots to do away with her mother so that she can have her oblivious father (Anthony Franciosa) all to herself. Yes, in that way. Fate intervenes by way of a delivery guy (Paul Hubbard) who misreads signals and then gets violent with the mother. Everything seems to be working to psychotic plan for Julie until she hits a pretty big snag: Her dad starts seeing a new woman…and she’s played by Sybil Danning. Yeah, good luck winning that one, Julie.   Genuinely messed up, bonkers 1982 film from “Chained Heat” director Paul Nicholas and his co-writer Maurice Smith ( “The Joys of Jezebel” ) is admittedly not very good or particularly well-made. I can’t really recommend it, certainly not wholeheartedly. It is however, pretty committed to its crazy-arse central conceit, and that earns it some points at least. That said, the bonkers premise and the commitment to it do also likely limit the film’s appeal for most viewers. In other word...

Tony Young plays one of four green berets (with Peter Brown and Marvin Gaye playing two of the others) who take a break from training recruits for the Vietnam War to take on biker gang The Wizards, one of whom (stunt guy Michael Haynes) directly caused the death of Young’s fiancé (played by a young Cheryl Ladd) and her friend. William Smith plays the mean leader of The Wizards, who is pissed at the reckless Haynes for bringing unnecessary trouble to the gang. Look out for brief appearances by Robert Ridgely, Erik Estrada, and Dan Haggerty (as ‘Bearded Man’).   Flawed 1971 AIP film from director Lee Frost ( “The Thing With Two Heads” , “The Black Gestapo” ) lacks a decent leading man and exploitation goodies but still gets the job done by biker movie standards. If this is your type of thing, there’s no reason you won’t enjoy this one. Lead actor Tony Young was apparently a TV western guy which makes more sense than being in something like this. He’s lost at sea here. Even stuntm...

Alain Moussi plays an amnesiac who wakes up in a U.S. military outpost after being attacked by an unseen entity and jumping off a cliff somewhere in Myanmar. Marie Avgeropoulos is the tough intelligence officer assigned to question him. However, before she gets much of anywhere with him, Moussi is whisked away by martial artist Tony Jaa and several other people (Frank Grillo and JuJu Chan among them) who apparently know the guy. Eventually the premise kicks in: Every six years a portal opens and an alien arrives through that portal to battle nine warriors. Nic Cage turns up as a warrior mentor of sorts. Rick Yune is jiu jitsu warrior Captain Sand.   I figured at the very least a sci-fi action movie with Tony Jaa, Nic Cage, and Frank Grillo wouldn’t be dull and that a film called “Jiu Jitsu” would contain some actual jiu jitsu. Directed by Dimitri Logothetis (the quite solid martial arts film “Kickboxer: Retaliation” ), this 2020 film is barely tolerable at best, and there’s no...

Horrible, scheming husband Andre Morell murders his wife (Catherine Lacey) with the assistance of servants Andrew Crawford and Freda Jackson, and they subsequently bury the body. The resident tabby cat witnesses the murder and Morell becomes obsessed with killing it. All perfectly sane behaviour. Barbara Shelley plays Lacey’s niece, who is one of several relatives who come to stay whilst the police investigate Lacey’s ‘disappearance’. Meanwhile, more murders happen, and the cat somehow seems to be causing them.   Although the company is strangely not mentioned in the opening credits, this 1961 John Gilling ( “The Brigand of Kandahar” , “The Reptile” ) chiller is surely a Hammer film. Scripted by George Baxt ( “Circus of Horrors” , “City of the Dead” ), in terms of plot it actually feels more Amicus or AIP, but the atmosphere is all Hammer right from the thunderous opening and the credits are full of Hammer names. It was even shot at Bray studios, so at the very least I’d say it...

Set in the 1800s in the West Indies on a plantation owned by whip-cracking Lady Susan Walker (Anoushka Hempel), a brutal tyrant ably assisted by the brutish Joxer (Percy Herbert). David Warbeck plays an Englishman who arrives to enquire on the whereabouts of his brother, Lady Susan’s husband who is missing. Character actor Anthony Sharp (in perhaps the most decent performance here) plays Lord Clive, whilst stunt man Bob Minor plays one of the slaves, and an American actor named Bernard Boston plays the snooty, gay, French soldier whom Lady Susan employs as the captain of her private army of mercenaries. The hulking David Prowse turns up in a small role that you can probably figure out the identity of yourself.   There were a couple of times in his career that former ‘nudie cutie’ director Russ Meyer ( “Vixen” , “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” ) attempted to make somewhat ‘serious’ films, “The Seven Minutes” (a PG-rated Russ Meyer film!) being one of them. This 1973 slavery-th...

The Spengler family (Carrie Coon, kids McKenna Grace and Finn Wolfhard, and partner Paul Rudd) are now New Yorkers and their ghost busting antics have earned the attention of the one and only Dickless, I mean former EPA inspector Walter Peck (William Atherton) who is now the city’s mayor. He’s utterly bemused and threatens to shut the operation down, before Coon offers to stand Grace down for being underage. Grace is upset but finds a new friend in Emily Alyn Lind, whom she quickly realises is a ghost. Meanwhile, original ghostbuster Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) unwittingly unleashes a paranormal evil when opening a brass ball artefact. Ray…what did you do ? Annie Potts, Ernie Hudson, and eventually Bill Murray turn up to reprise their franchise roles. British comedian James Acaster is here because the film was partly filmed in the UK and they wanted to qualify for tax relief. He plays the head of a paranormal research and development centre. Kumail Nanjiani turns up as the guy who sells R...

In what is absolutely not a forerunner to “Rush Hour” , Cop and widower Leo Fong teams up with ATF agent Richard Roundtree to take down nutty crime lord Cameron Mitchell and his arms dealer cohort named Nighthawk (Stack Pierce). Hope Holliday turns up as a madam, James Lew is a henchman, and that’s a young, baby-faced Branscombe Richmond talking to Fong in a locker room at one point. You’ve seen him get beaten up by most of your favourite 80s action heroes at some point. It’s his thing.   Producer-star-golem Leo Fong combines with “Aftershock” director Frank Harris in this 10c action movie from 1984. Harris also scripts, produces, edits, and serves as cinematographer here. Co-star Hope Holliday serves as casting director and associate producer due to the apparent advice of her friend and co-star Cameron Mitchell, having produced several other Mitchell 80s cheapies as well. What’s my point? This whole film plays like a bunch of slumming colleagues and friends got together to pr...