Shameless Self Expression

Smug surgeon Gianni Garko accidentally kills his mistress with the title floral sculpture. Panicking and not wanting to get caught, he grinds the corpse up in a meat grinder. He thinks he’s safe, the girl has disappeared but nothing points back to him.. However, his ex Carroll Baker – the sister of the deceased – thinks Garko did something to her and isn’t shy in letting him know. Meanwhile, the cops start sniffing around and all of a sudden Garko is getting nervous. Then the threatening phone calls start, claiming to know what Garko did and threatening to expose him as a murderer (accidental or not) if financial arrangements are not made towards them. However, he’s still composed enough to be shagging his other mistress, sexy secretary Pilar Velazquez.   Carroll Baker was a pretty decent star in Hollywood films of the 50s and early 60s, but by the late 60s her career choices got…curious. She was appearing in all kinds of softcore exploitation films, mostly European and mostly terr

Clint Eastwood plays a bare-knuckle fighter and trucker with an orangutan sidekick named Clyde. Sondra Locke plays a country singer Eastwood gets involved with, whilst Geoffrey Lewis plays Eastwood’s good buddy and fight promoter, and Ruth Gordon is his cranky old mother. Along the way, Clint gets on the wrong side of some bikers (including Roy Jenson, Bill McKinney, and John Quade), as well as Gregory Walcott’s pissed-off cop. Joyce Jameson turns up briefly as a waitress. Beverly D’Angelo plays a love interest for Lewis.   In the late 70s and early 80s Clint Eastwood was such a big star that audiences would flock to see him in almost anything, including two orangutan buddy movies. This 1978 film from director James Fargo ( “The Enforcer” , “Caravans” , “Forced Vengeance” ) was the first and worst of the two films, both of which are frankly pretty awful “Smokey and the Bandit” variants. Yeah, substitute Clyde the Orangutan for Sally Field, bare-knuckle fighting for beer-running, a

Burt Reynolds stars as the man with the CB handle ‘The Bandit’, known for being able to ship anything quickly and without any interference from Johnny Law. He’s hired by a couple of short-and-tall cowboys (Paul Williams and Pat McCormick) to ship some beer on the ‘hush hush’ across state lines. With the lure of a big pay day, The Bandit heads off in his Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am, whilst trusted partner Cledus (Jerry Reed) hauls the beer in his big rig. The idea is that The Bandit will attract the attention of any passing lawmen, so that Cledus can make the journey unimpeded. Complications come when a runaway bride (Sally Field, in real-life Reynolds’ main squeeze at the time) ditches her husband-to-be (Mike Henry) to hitch a ride with The Bandit. Henry’s father just so happens to be a stubborn, vengeful lawman by the name of Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Comedic TV veteran Jackie Gleason), who will stop at nothing to catch The Bandit and his newest travelling companion.   I should’ve

After his fiancé (Sybil Danning) is raped and killed by a supposed Albino African terrorist (Horst Frank), policeman James Faulkner is driven to take the law into his own hands to hunt the creepy cult leader down. Christopher Lee plays Faulkner’s friend and superior officer who tries to reason with Faulkner, but eventually orders a manhunt against his friend and subordinate. Erik Schumann plays the Rhodesian SAS Captain whom the government puts in charge of the hunt for Faulkner (who after shooting some black Africans, is accused of inflaming race relations), after it’s deemed Lee and the other local officers have somewhat of a conflict of interest out of their apparent loyalty to Faulkner. Trevor Howard plays a local white landowner and father of Danning (Yes, father of the very Austrian Sybil Danning. In a film set in Africa . I know), who suggests Faulkner take his most trusted servant (Sam Williams) with him.   Alternately known as “Albino” , “Night of the Askari” and my pers