Shameless Self Expression

Decorated soldier Yahya Abdul-Mateen II finds himself out of work at the worst possible time. His wife needs expensive medical care and they share an infant son. Where to turn? He goes to his brother Jake Gyllenhaal for a loan. Gyllenhaal is a bank robber, and when his desperate brother turns up, he’s in the middle of preparing for his latest heist when he’s a man short. Almost on the fly, well-meaning Abdul-Mateen II finds himself joining the crew, and it’s not long before the gig hits snag after snag and lives are lost. Eventually, the two (adopted) brothers end up commandeering the ambulance of paramedic Eiza Gonzalez, with an added complication of the wounded cop Jackson White who got shot during the heist also on board the vehicle. Meanwhile, the vehicle is pursued by L.A. police captain Garret Dillahunt and an FBI agent (Keir O’Donnell) who is familiar with one of the brothers from way back.   Until now, the only film from director Michael Bay that I’ve enjoyed – mildly – was

An innocent human (Scott Speedman) gets thrust into a centuries-old battle between vampires and Lycans (werewolves). A vampire named Selene (Kate Beckinsale) angers her own kind by protecting the man, who seems to be specifically targeted by Lycan leader Lucian (Michael Sheen). Shane Brolly and Sophia Myles play vampires, Bill Nighy plays a particularly ancient vampire, and Wentworth Miller appears briefly as a doctor.   I avoided this blue-hued vampires vs werewolves nonsense for decades. I really should’ve kept on ignoring it. Directed by Len Wiseman (the stock  “Die Hard 4.0” , the awfully dull  “Total Recall”  remake), this popular 2003 action/horror hybrid is idiotic, mopey and boring. It’s the kind of over-stylised shit I hate more often than not, with Kate Beckinsale and her singular pouty facial expression firing two guns like a John Woo flick less than 5 minutes in. Why are vampires firing guns anyway? Yeah I know, silver bullets and all that, but still it seems silly. Too sil