Review: Christine

Bullied teen Arnie (Keith Gordon) and his one friend Dennis (John Stockwell) spot a junky ’58 Plymouth Fury. Arnie, feeling drawn to the car buys it from a similarly weathered old man (Roberts Blossom). Restoring it to its former glory, Arnie starts to become obsessed with the car, named Christine though his social confidence seems to sky rocket and pretty soon he’s taking out Leigh (Alexandra Paul), a pretty girl Dennis happened to be sweet on. Christine doesn’t seem to approve of Leigh however. Oh yes, Christine is alive and very, very possessive of her owner. Kelly Preston plays the hot chick at school, Robert Prosky plays the cranky, uncouth owner of a repair shop whose space Arnie uses to repair his ride. Harry Dean Stanton plays a detective, whilst William Ostrander plays the chief bully at school.

 

You’ve likely heard insanity defined as doing something more than once expecting a different result. Well, it’s likely for the same reason that I keep watching this 1983 meeting between director John Carpenter (“Halloween”, “Big Trouble in Little China”, “They Live”) and author Stephen King (“Stand By Me”, “Carrie”, “The Dead Zone”, “Misery”) and expecting it to be better than it is. I think it’s time to accept that I’m insane and that “Christine” is, was, and forever will be just an OK-to-good film. There’s nothing wrong with that, in fact there are so many bad Stephen King adaptations and so few really good John Carpenter films that it still ends up being one of the better films of both. It’s still getting a recommendation from me, but the combination of horror masters from two different mediums does have you expecting a great film. Well not anymore, “Christine” is a mildly enjoyable horror film and that’s that. At least it’s better than “Maximum Overdrive” since Carpenter, unlike King knows how to direct a film.

 

Apparently King felt the film lacked the depth of his book, as adapted by Bill Phillips (“Physical Evidence” and “El Diablo” – a western Phillips co-wrote with Carpenter and his buddy Tommy Lee Wallace) I think there’s a little more going on here than just a schlocky killer car movie, even if you feel there could’ve been even more to it. Perhaps one would look differently on it were the names King and Carpenter not attached, along with the expectations that come along with that. The worldview on show here has a nice, kinda S.E. Hinton vibe to it, especially early on as everything is all nostalgic, if somewhat profane at times. Some might find the film too slow, but I actually appreciated that Carpenter and Phillips take their time in setting things up, it helps stop the film from being another bit of killer car schlock like 1977’s “The Car”. It’s still a B-movie at heart mind you, just a bit loftier than some. The movie is set in 1978, but King and Carpenter are clearly a bit nostalgic for the 50s. The car is a late 50s model Plymouth, it plays 50s rock tunes, bullying William Ostrander is like a foul-mouthed 70s update of a 50s bullying punk etc. Carpenter, King, and Phillips make it pretty damn convincing. It’s a great-looking film, well-shot by Donald M. Morgan, so aesthetically it’s a very John Carpenter film. There’s plenty of atmosphere, eerie camerawork and dark lighting to frame the car ominously. I also think the scene where Christine appears to repair herself looks quite good still today as it did in 1983. Surprisingly, Carpenter’s synth score – usually a reliable thing – is a debit here, it’s completely unmemorable. You won’t remember a note of it afterwards, something you can’t say about “Assault on Precinct 13”, “Halloween”, “The Fog”, or “Escape From New York”. Thematically it’s all Stephen King, though I can’t attest to how faithful of an adaptation this is of the book specifically.

 

The chief assets here are 1) The slick-looking ’58 Plymouth Fury, and 2) Keith Gordon’s commendably intense performance as a nerd possessed. Even geekier than he was in Brian De Palma’s “Dressed to Kill”, Gordon’s misfit Arnie isn’t the most likeable kid in the world, but he’s the most interesting and well-drawn character in this film. He’s odd, overly intense and off-putting…and that’s before he buys the car. The relationship between Arnie and Christine is quite well-established and believable enough to sit through for 90 minutes or so. I always rationalise the Jack Nicholson performance in “The Shining” as being more believable for being disturbed from the beginning, and it’s kind of a similar deal here. Gordon’s Arnie isn’t a boo-hiss villain or anything – even after he buys the car – but he’s hardly a loveable cuddly nerd, either. There’s an inherent intensity that makes it more believable to me that buying a possessed car would suddenly have such a powerful, sinister effect on him than it would someone more ingratiating. John Stockwell has a Paul Walker-esque bland nice guy vibe to him that makes him appealing enough, so it’s a shame that the plot dictates that he be on the shelf for a long stretch with an injury. The film needed a little more of him for balance, I think. It’s a tad lumpy (The idea of Arnie suddenly dating his best friend’s crush feels like scenes are missing to fill in the gaps there). As for the women, the late Kelly Preston is scorching hot but barely in the film, a miscast Alexandra Paul in far too much of it. She completely blows some pretty interesting lines with her distressingly flat readings. I also wasn’t sold on William Ostrander and his band of not very convincingly menacing young punks. These guys make Henry Bowers from “IT” seem like Mike Tyson in comparison, and are straight out of an off-off Broadway retelling of “Grease” written by a third-rate wannabe David Mamet. What’s with all the C-words, for crying out loud? They just don’t seem convincing coming out of these characters’ mouths (Apparently they were aiming for an R-rating but didn’t have enough violence, so Phillips threw in a lot of profanity. I get it, but it’s silly).

 

Several veteran character actors turn up to help lend the film a touch of class, notably Robert Prosky and Roberts Blossom. Prosky steals the show with a great character part. He’s at his most uncouth and gruff, and it’s very, very funny. The only person in the film who swears convincingly, he’s also playing a character that most resembles something Stephen King would write. Although I’m not sure who would be dumb/crazy enough to willingly buy a car off him, Roberts Blossom provides an excellent cameo as the brother of the former owner of Christine (By the way, I’m convinced Jasper from “The Simpsons” was vocally inspired by Blossom. I will not be swayed otherwise).

 

Well-done, amusing, and somewhat likeable horror film that isn’t terribly surprising or memorable outside of the ’58 Plymouth Fury and a terrific performance by Keith Gordon. His descent after purchasing the haunted car becomes truly sad and affecting after a while, I must say. It’s not a ‘scary’ film per se, but that didn’t bother me because what most people seem to consider scary are lame ‘jump’ scares that merely startle. This one’s more interested in characters, relationships, and atmosphere than it is the car, and that makes it better than it could’ve been. Still, it also leaves you thinking it could’ve been even better. That’s OK though, I’m at peace now in liking the film instead of trying to love it.

 

Rating: B-