Review: Vamp

Chris Makepeace and Robert Rusler are trying to get into a college fraternity and agree to go out and get a stripper for a big frat party. Gedde Watanabe is the nerdy rich kid who has to come along because they need his car (He’s happy for the companionship, contrived as it might be). They venture out into the big city and come across something called the After Dark club. There’s dancers there, alright. However, they’re not your ordinary strippers...they’re also vampires! Before long, Rusler has been bitten in the neck by the beguiling Grace Jones (he thought he had a chance with her!), whilst Makepeace hangs around with a sweet-natured (and human) employee of the club, played by Deedee Pfeiffer. They’ve actually met before, but Makepeace can’t quite place her. Billy Drago turns up as a ghoulish albino thug whose biker gang menaces our protagonists, and Sandy Baron (Jack, Morty’s retirement village nemesis from “Seinfeld”) is well-cast as the equally ghoulish owner of the After Dark club.

 

Directed and co-written by Richard Wenk (who went on to write “16 Blocks” for Richard Donner 20 years later), this mid-80s horror/comedy is a mixture of “After Hours” and “The Lost Boys” that ends up better than either of them (It would also make a fine double bill with “Fright Night”, by the way). It’s got a similarly cheesy 80s cast to the aforementioned films. “After Hours” had Griffin Dunne (“American Werewolf in London”), Rosanna Arquette (“Desperately Seeking Susan”), Cheech & Chong (‘nuff said), Teri Garr (“Tootsie”), and Bronson Pinchot (“Beverly Hills Cop”) among others. “The Lost Boys” of course had the Two Coreys, Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric, and the other guy from “Bill & Ted”. But “Vamp”? Get a load of this: Chris Makepeace from “My Bodyguard” (and 1979’s “Meatballs”), Robert Rusler from “Elm St. 2” and “Weird Science”, Billy Drago from “The Untouchables”, Michelle Pfeiffer’s sister Deedee, Long Duk Dong from “Sixteen Candles”, and Grace Freakin’ Jones! Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is one helluva cast.

 

Robert Rusler to me is one of those guys I look back on and think...why didn’t it happen for him? He was in lots of stuff and then...not much at all. In this outing he kinda has the Griffin Dunne role, but Dunne in “American Werewolf in London”, rather than “After Hours”.  Gedde Watanabe (who is nearly 60 now, if you can believe it!) is not looked back on fondly by some people for his stereotypical Asian comic relief stuff (which also included an amusing bit in Weird Al’s “UHF”). For me, the guy is too damn likeable to hate. He’s a bit wasted here, but I certainly don’t find his Asian dork schtick to be offensive. He’s an amusing ‘hipster doofus’. Perennial goon/henchman Billy Drago isn’t utilised much here, but an albino Billy Drago proves to be even creepier than the regular Billy Drago. And believe me, he’s normally creepy as hell. Now I’m going to get myself into trouble by saying something controversial: I prefer Deedee Pfeiffer to her older and more well-known sister Michelle. Cuter (a dead ringer for Cameron Diaz), far more charismatic, and yes, even a better actress. There, I said it. I feel better know.

 

Grace Jones seems to be the film’s biggest selling point, and she’s a unique presence, like her or not. She’s never been sexy, exactly (and not especially talented, either), but she has always been striking, unforgettable, and one-of-a-kind. Times that by infinity and crank it up to 11, and you get Jones’ dance routine here which reminded me of Pennywise the Clown doing a striptease. It’s...something, just like Grace herself. The film definitely plays to her beguiling, strange, and striking visage. To some she’s mannish and off-putting, to me she’s unusual and not unappealing. Certainly not uninteresting. The weak link in the cast is sadly the lead, Chris Makepeace, a generic, poor man’s Corey Haim or Sean Astin. He’s instantly forgettable.

 

I’ve got to say that for a horror-comedy, this is a really stylish film. Not only is there a varied (and occasionally thunderous) music score by Jonathan Elias (“Shakedown”, “Two-Moon Junction”), but visually it’s really interesting. The cinematography by Elliott Davis (“King of the Hill”, “Shakes the Clown”) is tops, the film looks like neon bubblegum, suggesting Davis was taking colour tips from Cyndi Lauper or something. It’s a very well-designed film, although the nasty-looking vampires have teeth and FX work that suggest something slightly more lycanthropic than I would’ve liked, personally. It’s a pretty film, and a largely enjoyable, if not hilarious one (Grace Jones is pretty scary, after all).

 

I was pleasantly surprised by this, not a whole lot of people seem to like it. Oh, if only Corey Feldman was in the lead role, it’d be even better. Wil Wheaton would’ve sufficed. Like “Fright Night”, “The Monster Squad”, or “The Lost Boys”, it’s light-hearted 80s teen fun. Wenk’s screenplay is based on a story by him and producer Donald P. Borchers (producer of “Two-Moon Junction”).

 

Rating: B-