Review: The Sound of Music

Cheerful Maria (Julie Andrews) leaves the convent due to uncontrollable merriment, and takes on the job of governess to the seven Von Trapp children, evil little buggers who match in Satanic lock-step (OK, so the youngest girl is awfully cute, but the rest...Stay back, demon spawn!). Their mother has died, and their humourless father Capt. Von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) has no idea how to cope with them, so treats them like military school students or something. However, with a song in her heart and an insufferably doe-eyed expression of saccharine-drenched sunshine on her face, Maria manages to brighten the children’s spirits, and even the stone-faced Captain seems to slowly thaw. Meanwhile, their secure life in Austria is under constant threat of Nazi invasion and occupation. Eleanor Parker plays The Baroness, the Captain’s would-be Bill Pullman...er...love interest.

 

Live long enough and if you’re into movies and reviewing as much as I am, you end up watching movies you once promised yourself you wouldn’t touch with a 50ft pole. Musicals tend to be my last resort for cinematic entertainment and Julie Andrews is generally a no-go zone for me. So this 1965 Robert Wise (“Cat People”, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”) film version of the Rogers and Hammerstein (I nearly typed ‘Hammer Time’ there, I swear) ‘classic’ was indeed one of those films I promised myself I’d never watch unless I was absolutely desperate or being forced via threat of torture. This is what happens when you don’t want to go to bed because you know some fireworks would be fired off in the not-so distant future outside and would inevitably wake me up, making my attempt at slumber useless. The threat of neighbours acting like loud drunken tools was always a possibility, too. It was New Years Eve 2013, and I had already sat through “Can’t Stop the Music” years ago, so I wasn’t about to make that mistake again, no matter what Village People CD may or may not be in my CD collection. So...I finally relented and gave this one a go. Partly fired up by a dare from a family member who didn’t think I’d last more than 20 minutes, I managed to sit all the way through it too, albeit in two sittings. I had to go to bed eventually, of course, and DVR’d the rest. I also felt I needed to see the film because of my desire to see as many films as I can before I leave this mortal coil, and I’d hate for this to have been the last film I ever saw.

 

So what did I think of it? It’s not...a bad film in any way, shape or form. In fact, the basic story is a damn good yarn, even rather stirring at times, given its basis in fact. But boy did those Nazis take their damn sweet time entering the film to save me from a saccharine, sing-song, Julie Andrews overdose.

 

Without question the best thing in the entire film is the performance by Christopher Plummer. He may not have been a good enough singer to do his own vocals, but acting-wise, he’s really the one to watch. He is perfect casting (even if one wonders if the real-life Captain was quite as heroically anti-Nazi as Plummer portrays him) and steals the film instantaneously from everyone and everything except the wonderful scenery. The late Eleanor Parker fares second best and manages a jolly good try at making her character not seem like the obvious romantic obstacle she is. I also didn’t hate every single song in the film. Oh I ever so much hate the title song and ‘Do Re Mi’, and I think we’ve all endured more than enough bad versions of ‘Edelweiss’. ‘A Few of My Favourite Things’ is among my least favourite things (I do rather like whiskers on kittens, though). But ‘How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria’? I don’t mind that one. Meanwhile, why did I know every word of every song here? I’ve never even seen the film before. Weird.

 

In addition to being a musical that actually has a story (one that shares a few basic similarities to “Jane Eyre”, which is a plus), I also like that this is a musical where the songs are spread out, instead of constant, ending up with sung dialogue. But just when there’s a moment or two that I didn’t mind, Julie Andrews had to go and ruin it with her frigging Julie Andrews...ness. Her obnoxious mugging and over earnest performance were borderline insufferable to me. She’s like a lethal injection of sugar, and her warbling was horribly self-absorbed at times. I don’t care if you have confidence you insufferable English twit. I’ve seen silent movie actresses with more subtle facial expressions and physicality than Andrews. All throughout the film I kept thinking: ‘So poor Anne Frank died, but so help me if this annoying singing nun doesn’t get rounded up soon...’. But I will give Andrews and the character one thing: As nauseating as Andrews is, I kinda like how Maria was an ill-fit at the nunnery due to her boundless enthusiasm and sense of merriment, the very qualities she calls upon to make life enjoyable for the miserable little von Trapp turds. It kinda reminded me of “Life is Beautiful” in that sense, though this is obviously a much lesser film.

 

The finale- yes the bit where the Nazis turn up- is definitely the film’s strongest, and most moving. I actually think this would’ve worked much better as a non-musical (Which may be difficult, given the singing is apparently part of the real story, but they could cut a lot of it out, surely). The basic story idea is fine, and throw in someone who can act in the lead like Ingrid Bergman and you’d have a much better film than this. Yes, I said the film does have a plot and the basic idea of it is fine, but the way it plays out in the Ernest Lehman (“The Sweet Smell of Success”, “North By Northwest”, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”) script, it’s thoroughly predictable (though not exactly boring), the kids all blend together (except Liesl, who is just plain insufferable and 16 going on 25), and Julie Andrews is awful.

 

It’s not a great film, and it’s not my kind of film at all. But it’s not a bad one either, just one I have a bit of an allergic reaction to. I’ll never watch it again, but I’ve seen it now and I actually don’t regret it. I managed to stomach it. Barely. I’m surprised feminists don’t loathe it, though, especially with the strategic placing of ‘How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria’ as a wedding march! I won’t give the film a bad score, nor a good one, but at least it’s one more film ticked off my list.

 

Rating: C+