Review: Race to Witch Mountain


Vegas cabbie and ex-con Dwayne Johnson has two oddball kids (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) enter his cab. Except, they’re not actually kids, they’re aliens with special powers who need Johnson to drive them, and they will pay him handsomely for the long journey. On their tail, though, are humourless government spook Ciaran Hinds (perfectly cast) and his goons (Tom Everett Scott and Christopher Marquette). Carla Gugino plays an astrophysicist who is currently visiting a sci-fi convention (!), while Garry Marshall turns up as a UFO conspiracy nut.


The original “Escape to Witch Mountain” was one of Disney’s best pre-1980 non-animated family films, in my opinion. The follow-up “Return From Witch Mountain” was…not. Now there’s this 2009 film from Andy Fickman (“The Game Plan”, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”), which although credited as being a remake of “Escape”, is pretty different. The results are somewhere in between the two previous films, but thankfully much closer in quality to “Escape”. It’s not as good as that film, but it’s harmless enough.


It’s good-looking, fast-paced, and Carla Gugino is perfectly lovely as always. Although the role of ‘rational guy in a crazy irrational situation’ isn’t the best use of Dwayne Johnson, he’s fine too. He looks a little like this is just a pay-check assignment for him, though, and a guy with as much money as The Rock presumably had even before moving into acting, probably shouldn’t be relying on pay-check assignments. As for the kids, AnnaSophia Robb is vastly superior to the rather forced Alexander Ludwig. It’s nice to see the stars of the original films Kim Richards and Ike (now Iake, yes that’s Iake with a capital I not a lowercase L) Eisenmann in cameos, too. It’s a complete and utter waste of Cheech Marin as a mechanic, though. He’s not remotely funny or interesting. Also, can someone please explain to me why Tom Everett Scott never happened? I truly don’t understand that one, and both he and Chris Marquette are thoroughly wasted here in useless roles.


Keeping this film on the move was a wise decision, because it’s otherwise just OK family fare at best. Kids will probably enjoy it, though probably not the littlest ones, given that Dwayne Johnson smashes a guy’s head through a car window at one point. That one even surprised me. The screenplay is by Matt Lopez (the surprisingly nice Adam Sandler film “Bedtime Stories”) and Mark Bomback (“Die Hard 4.0”, “Unstoppable”, “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”).


Rating: C+

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chilly t
Read more

Review: Boyka: Undisputed

Yuri Boyka (Scott Adkins) is out of prison and fighting for a living, with ambitions for the ‘Most Complete Fighter’ to make a real name for himself. However, after an opponent dies during a fight, the deeply religious Boyka starts to have a crisis of conscience. He tries to make amends with the man’s widow, which eventually pits him against a local gangster (Alon Moni Aboutboul, quite good). Anything with Scott Adkins will generally get me interested, and although this series peaked with the superlative “Undisputed II: Last Man Standing” , this 2017 film from director Todor Chapkanov (director of the SyFy movies “Copperhead” and “Ghost Town” ) is no slouch in a series yet to deliver anything less than solid entertainment. Producer Isaac Florentine is missed in the director’s chair, but Chapkanov gives us at the very least the series’ most dramatically ambitious entry, as Adkins’ ‘most complete fighter’ Yuri Boyka continues on his journey to redemption here. In this one, the
Read more

Review: Ninja 2: Shadow of a Tear

Scott Adkins is once again Casey, an American proponent of the martial art of Ninjutsu. When Casey’s pregnant Japanese wife (Mika Hijii) is rubbed out, he’s on a vengeance mission to find her killers. A friendly face, Nakabara (Kane Kosugi) turns up at the funeral, and suggests Casey come to Thailand to deal with his grief in another country. Casey initially declines, but eventually takes Nakabara up on his offer. However, his wife’s murder still haunts Casey, and with intel supplied by Nakabara, the trail eventually leads Casey to a brutal drug baron named Goro (Shun Sugata).   I was extremely disappointed with the first “Ninja” , but had heard that this 2013 sequel from director Isaac Florentine ( “Undisputed II: Last Man Standing” , “Undisputed III: Redemption” , “Ninja” ) was a damn near masterpiece of the martial-arts action movie genre. Having now finally gotten my hot little hands on it, I’d say the hype is a bit much, but this is unquestionably a much better film than the f
Read more