Review: Skyscraper


Dwayne Johnson stars as an ex-Fed who changed jobs after a botched hostage situation left him with a prosthetic leg. He’s now a security consultant and married with several kids to the nurse (Neve Campbell) who patched him up. The main plot here involves Johnson accepting a security gig at a new ginormous building, moving his family in, and then having to save one and all from nasty terrorists led by Botha (Roland Moller). Pablo Schreiber is Johnson’s ex-Service buddy who got him the gig in the first place, and Noah Taylor is a slimy jerk in a suit.



The artist formerly known as The Rock strikes out with this toothless, unoriginal blend of “Die Hard” and “The Towering Inferno” from 2018. Written and directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber (the comedies “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” and “We’re the Millers”, it’s both ludicrous and tedious, and there’s nothing the reasonably talent cast can do to liven it up much.



We start with the biggest action movie cliché scene in cinematic history, the one where the hero makes a fatal mistake in a hostage crisis that sees him completely switch jobs by the time we next see him. Yeah, Stallone did that in “Daylight” about 20 years earlier and it was a cliché then, too. Did I mention that he ends up married to the nurse (Neve Campbell, always good to see in films) who saved his life? Yeah. There isn’t a cliché Mr. Thurber won’t dredge up for this, I’m afraid. Meanwhile, if you want to hide your snake in the grass character, you probably shouldn’t give the role to someone known for playing an utter sleazebag rapist in a popular TV series. Poor Aussie actor Noah Taylor doesn’t get it much better, playing a wimpy suit in on the criminal scheme. The only thing the filmmakers seem to care about here is the title structure itself. Apparently, I was meant to be so wowed by this…um, big building that I didn’t need anything else. Why? It’s a building. It’s tall. And? Sorry, but I don’t get it.



This movie is “Battleship” dumb, and that’s before you get to the much-ballyhooed stunt from the trailers (and it’s truly idiotic). The Rock is charisma personified and Neve Campbell is likeable too, but they can’t rescue this heavy anchor of a clichéd script, nor the utter ridiculousness of it all. Seriously, it may be the most ridiculous film I’ve seen in about twenty years…but I’m not sure such a tedious and flat film deserves that distinction. Dull and stupid, with not much energy or enthusiasm to it.



Rating: C-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chilly t
Read more

Review: Boyka: Undisputed

Yuri Boyka (Scott Adkins) is out of prison and fighting for a living, with ambitions for the ‘Most Complete Fighter’ to make a real name for himself. However, after an opponent dies during a fight, the deeply religious Boyka starts to have a crisis of conscience. He tries to make amends with the man’s widow, which eventually pits him against a local gangster (Alon Moni Aboutboul, quite good). Anything with Scott Adkins will generally get me interested, and although this series peaked with the superlative “Undisputed II: Last Man Standing” , this 2017 film from director Todor Chapkanov (director of the SyFy movies “Copperhead” and “Ghost Town” ) is no slouch in a series yet to deliver anything less than solid entertainment. Producer Isaac Florentine is missed in the director’s chair, but Chapkanov gives us at the very least the series’ most dramatically ambitious entry, as Adkins’ ‘most complete fighter’ Yuri Boyka continues on his journey to redemption here. In this one, the
Read more

Review: Ninja 2: Shadow of a Tear

Scott Adkins is once again Casey, an American proponent of the martial art of Ninjutsu. When Casey’s pregnant Japanese wife (Mika Hijii) is rubbed out, he’s on a vengeance mission to find her killers. A friendly face, Nakabara (Kane Kosugi) turns up at the funeral, and suggests Casey come to Thailand to deal with his grief in another country. Casey initially declines, but eventually takes Nakabara up on his offer. However, his wife’s murder still haunts Casey, and with intel supplied by Nakabara, the trail eventually leads Casey to a brutal drug baron named Goro (Shun Sugata).   I was extremely disappointed with the first “Ninja” , but had heard that this 2013 sequel from director Isaac Florentine ( “Undisputed II: Last Man Standing” , “Undisputed III: Redemption” , “Ninja” ) was a damn near masterpiece of the martial-arts action movie genre. Having now finally gotten my hot little hands on it, I’d say the hype is a bit much, but this is unquestionably a much better film than the f
Read more