Review: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan


Lying dead at the bottom of Camp Crystal Lake, Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder) is revived by electricity and sets about stalking and killing those aboard a yacht hosting a high school graduation. Scott Reeves and Jensen Daggett are our leads, the former plays the son of the ship’s captain, whilst Peter Mark Richman plays Daggett’s over-protective biology teacher uncle.



One of the low points in an already dreadful series, this 1989 film from writer-director Rob Hedden (mostly a TV director- and especially- writer) should’ve been called “Jason Takes Manhattan…after dicking around on a boat for 70 minutes or so”. I guess that’s not quite as catchy, though. At any rate, the film is even more stupid than usual, and even the best members of the cast – soap actor Scott Reeves and veteran villain Peter Mark Richman – have been more effective on television than they are here. Richman plays an old prick decently enough, if a bit stiff. Lead actress Jensen Daggett is especially poor and completely deprived of screen presence or charisma. Whenever I think of the worst film in this series, this is the one that comes to mind, mostly because it features the most idiotic death scene of all-time: A wannabe boxer getting decapitated with one clean punch by Jason – but to be honest, the first two films might overall be worse, I haven’t seen them in decades. This one’s terrible, though.



We begin with a pretty dreadful opener with mostly off-screen violence, signifying that the series has well and truly become a pussy. Seriously, violence is all this franchise even has, why cop out on that? What’s left? Not a damn thing. Just look at the idiotic Lita Ford-wannabe guitarist, beaten with her own axe…but pretty much off-screen, because Mr. Director thinks violence is icky. Similarly, a hot rock to the chest death would’ve been awesome if the camera didn’t focus almost entirely on Jason’s face. I did kinda like those early shots of Manhattan junkies though, that’s pretty dark stuff. More of that would’ve been nice. One character’s electrocution comes a bit closer to what one expects from these sorts of films. It’s not explicit, but it’s certainly a bit nasty. I was less enthused with Alex Diakun as the requisite ‘Crazy Ralph’ guy, here a deck hand who cries ‘This voyage is dooooomed!’. Kelly Hu is a semi-recognisable name here, but in her supporting role she makes about as much impression as the Fred Mollin music score: Not much. Her final scene is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen from a horror movie character, which takes a lot of doing. And yet, even that’s not as dumb as the decapitation scene. Speaking of dumb, why are white supremacist punks in 1988 listening to hippity-hop music?



Toothless, tedious, and terrible. This franchise is pretty dreadful and single-minded to begin with, but with a director who doesn’t seem overly interested in violent deaths, the film has even less to offer than usual. A complete waste of time, even the Jason makeup is lamer than usual.



Rating: D-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chilly t
Read more

Review: Cinderella (1950)

The story of poor young Cinderella (voiced by Ilene Woods), treated as a servant by her nasty stepmother (voiced by Eleanor Audley), and dismissed by her thoroughly rotten, ugly stepsisters. Her only friends are a group of mice, who are forever being menaced by a cat named Lucifer (or as I call him, Grumpy Cheshire Cat). The King (hoping to find a wife for his charming son) is throwing a ball and every available young woman is invited to attend, and Cinderella is most excited to go. However, her stepmother and stepsisters do all they can to prevent this from happening. But with help from the mice and one fairy godmother (voiced by Verna Felton) later, and Cinderella looks set to attend the ball. You know the rest, folks.   Lovely 1950 Disney animated movie from directors Clyde Geronimi ( “Peter Pan” , “Lady and the Tramp” ), Wilfred Jackson ( “Fantasia” , “Alice in Wonderland” , “Peter Pan” ) & Hamilton Luske ( “Pinocchio” , “Fantasia” , “Peter Pan” ), that is a bit too s
Read more

Review: Eugenie de Sade

Eugenie (Soledad Miranda) makes a deathbed confession to author/biographer (Jesus ‘Jess’ Franco himself), recounting the tale of how her depraved stepfather (Paul Muller) groomed her into a life of depravity, debauchery, and murder.   Not to be confused with the similarly titled “Eugenie…The Story of Her Journey into Perversion” (by the same director) or “Justine de Sade” (which is not to be confused with Franco’s own “Justine” for that matter), this 1973 Marquis de Sade adaptation from writer-director Jesus Franco ( “99 Women” , “A Virgin Among the Living Dead” ) is perhaps the perfect marriage of Franco, sleazy material, and actors. Basically this is what Franco’s “She Killed in Ecstasy” might’ve been like if it were based on a Marquis de Sade work. There’s a few slow spots here and there, but overall I actually think this is Franco’s best film. Yes, even better than my previous choice “Vampyros Lesbos” , and better than his more ‘respectable’ films like “Count Dracula” (a
Read more