Review: X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) takes part in an X-Men space mission (!) that results in a shuttle explosion they narrowly escape from. However, the incident has somehow left Grey with growing superpowers. And a growing, out of control anger that leads to tragedy and Grey fleeing Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. She is encouraged to embrace her newly developed powers by a mysterious alien named Vuk (Jessica Chastain), whilst Professor Xavier (James McAvoy) and his students go in search of her, with at least one of them on a mission of vengeance against Jean. Also roped into things is rival mutant leader Magneto (Michael Fassbender), whose sanctuary Jean seeks at one point. Nicholas Hoult (Beast), Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique/Raven), Kodi Smit-McPhee (Nightcrawler), Evan Peters (Quicksilver), and Tye Sheridan (Cyclops) all reprise their mutant roles.

 

I’m a bit different to you, especially in my taste in movies. Especially in my taste in comic book movies. Seriously, there isn’t a person on this Earth who is likely to agree with my taste in comic book movies. For my money, the genre peaked in 1978 with Richard Donner’s masterpiece “Superman”. I strongly disliked the flippant and jarring “Iron Man”, didn’t much care for the sequels either. I’m not a great lover of the “Dark Knight” trilogy, and Michael Keaton is my one and only Bruce Wayne, with only Adam West being a reasonable alternative to bring to the discussion. I hated the recent “Wonder Woman”, I thought it was a big-budget sword-and-sorcery T&A movie minus the T&A. I thought “Avengers: Age of Ultron” and “Thor: The Dark World” were superior sequels, and “Thor: Ragnarok” was a self-indulgently quirky wank-fest. The “Deadpool” movies to me are pretty bland beyond the profane snarky-ness which got old after about 20 minutes. I’m also the guy who kinda liked “The Green Lantern” and “Jonah Hex”, and absolutely no one else on Earth (including the stars of those films) seems to want to go to bat for them. So yeah, I’m a bit different from y’all. Most importantly with regards to this review, I also think “X Men: The Last Stand” and “X-Men: First Class” are the best of the “X-Men” films (unless the borderline fan-fiction “Logan” counts, and I don’t think it really does), of which I’m not a huge fan. “X2” bored me and I couldn’t make heads or tails of “Days of Future Past”.

 

So it comes as no surprise to you or me that I actually rather enjoyed this 2019 flop from writer-director Simon Kinberg (debuting as director, he previously wrote the dreadful “This Means War”, the OK Guy Ritchie “Sherlock Holmes”, and three of the “X-Men” films), which shares plot similarities with “The Last Stand”. I’m still pretty ‘meh’ on the franchise itself, and in fact I kinda hope this is the last we get from it for a good while. Nonetheless, this one’s pretty entertaining for the most part, despite a few reservations, old and new to the franchise.

 

Sophie Turner made for an effective Sansa Stark, but it would appear that this attempt at breaking out as a film star was somewhat DOA given the critical and commercial reception. I think this thing flopped harder than that shit “Fantastic Four” remake Kinberg co-wrote. She’s not especially good in the role either, and that’s a shame because the character of Jean Grey and her journey here are really quite interesting. Turner is tolerable, but little more and it wouldn’t surprise me if she turns out to be another Jennifer Aniston, playing out her entire repertoire of tics and expressions on the small screen before trying to branch out on the big screen (The only things that ever change about Aniston are the hair, the character, and the film itself. She still plays everything like Rachel from “Friends”). One thing I liked about this film is that it’s far more coherent than the two previous entries, especially the virtually impenetrable “Days of Future Past” (also written by Kinberg). Another thing I liked came from an unusual source. I normally find Jessica Chastain a chilly, bemused presence on screen, but here as an icy villain she’s actually pretty good. The white hair was a nice touch, she looks like an evil albino or something. Seriously, a cold-blooded albino is the role Chastain was born for if you ask me. On the downside, Jennifer Lawrence is still playing Mystique and is even more problematic than ever. I like J-Law in some films, usually her more serious, grounded-in-reality films like “Silver Linings Playbook” and the uneven “American Hustle”. I just don’t understand why people rave over her in the “Hunger Games” films or in this franchise, where for me she comes across appallingly. She looks a little too strange in the blue Mystique get-up, for one thing. I’m not sure why, but it’s true. You never had that issue with Rebecca Romijn, but every time J-Law is on screen in the blue visage, it’s completely distracting. More importantly, her performance in this film, as with the “Hunger Games” films is boring, frumpy, and grumpy. Borderline bitchy actually and it’s not just a character/acting choice, either. Yes, Mystique has her issues with Jean Grey, but apparently she cares for her. The character says all the right words to suggest this, but coming out of J-Law’s mouth…I didn’t believe a word of it. She gives off the distinct impression of an actress completely bored and slightly pissed off at having to be in the film. Whether that’s actually true or not, is besides the point. It’s the impression the actress gives on screen, and it’s both distracting and unnecessary to her characterisation.

 

For my money, Nicholas Hoult’s Beast and Evan Peters’ Quicksilver are the best of these young X-Men, and as usual the latter gets short shrift, disappointingly. Thankfully, Hoult gets a pretty sizeable amount of screen time though, and is solid as usual. Otherwise the film suffers from the same problem all “X-Men” films do, too many characters and not enough room to house them. It doesn’t lead to incoherence like in “Days of Future Past”, but it does lead to the likes of Quicksilver and the also fairly interesting Nightcrawler being left on the sidelines. Outside of that, I didn’t really have much to complain about here, and I liked the plot too. For once I didn’t even mind the character of Magneto, played by Michael Fassbender. Usually in these films I lament the fact that Magneto is a dreadfully boring villain, who in fact rarely comes across as villainous at all. Obviously that’s largely the point, but it does tend to leave these films with a lack of menace, especially when Sir Ian McKellen was playing the part. Here, Magneto isn’t even a villain at all, he’s not meant to be in the slightest. The film is all the better for it for a change. Since we’ve already got a very fine villain in Jessica Chastain’s chilling Vuk. I’m not sure why Magneto is hanging out on the set of “The Walking Dead” when we meet him, and there’s an embarrassing scene where he and Turner’s Jean Grey pop some veins and throw jazz hands at a helicopter. It’s very, very silly stuff. However, just as I was about to be concerned that we were gonna get another round of the usual pissing contest between Xavier and Magneto…well, actually we do still kinda get that here. The difference here is that the situation itself is different, as it’s a bit more personal between the characters. I can’t really say more without resorting to spoilers, and I don’t feel that’s particularly necessary here. What I will say is that in addition to the usual eye-rolling of Xavier pleading with Magneto not to give the humans more reason to hate them, there’s a more pressing issue at hand with Jean Grey and the evil alien Vuk. That difference makes the difference. It’s the most interesting Magneto has been in the entire franchise, despite getting far less screen time than in most of these films, and Fassbender is as solid as James McAvoy is as his counterpart Prof. X. I loved the bit where Magneto tries to take Vuk down with an arsenal of machine guns. Admittedly it’s idiotic and Magneto should’ve recognised the folly in it, but just from a ‘cool factor’ point of view, it works. It probably sounds like I’m pretty mild on this film. Make no mistake, it’s the franchise itself I’m mild on. This is one of the best “X-Men” films, behind only “Logan” (if it counts), “The Last Stand”, and “First Class”.

 

A very watchable entry in a franchise I’m not especially interested in, your mileage will almost certainly differ. Wildly. It’s typically overpopulated and Sophie Turner isn’t especially good in the lead, but the character of Jean Grey is fascinating, as is the story. Some of the supporting performances are pretty good, with Jessica Chastain stealing the show as the evil alien villainess. However, can we be done with this stuff now? Surely the franchise has been played out by now. Unless next time we get a Quicksilver movie to make up for the massive waste of Evan Peters’ talents and a potentially cool character.

 

Rating: B-