Review: Quigley Down Under

American sharpshooting cowboy Matthew Quigley (Tom Selleck) travels via boat from America’s wild west all the way to the other side of the world, outback Australia. He has been enticed by a job offer from English rancher Marston (Alan Rickman), but when he finds out what the job actually involves, he’s repulsed. Now he has made an enemy of Mr. Marston, a very powerful individual who wants Quigley dead. Laura San Giacomo plays a displaced American who mistakes Quigley for her beloved. Tony Bonner (quite good) and a young Ben Mendelsohn play two of Marston’s men, Chris Haywood plays a British Major who attempts to arrest Quigley at one point.

 

All the ingredients for a fun light-hearted western are potentially here in this 1990 Simon Wincer (“Snapshot”, “The Lighthorsemen”, “Lightning Jack”, the underrated “Harley Davidson & The Marlboro Man”) film, but that fun light-hearted western never actually materialises on screen. Tom Selleck is a good choice for the displaced American cowboy, but the film is lazy and uninteresting for the most part. Even the score by Basil Poledouris (“Conan the Barbarian”, “RoboCop”) is nondescript.

 

Laura San Giacomo is normally a lot of fun, but her character is idiotic, annoying, and just plain weird. It’s nice to see some stalwart Aussie character actors in there, with the late Jerome Ehlers looking a bit like western veteran Royal Dano. However, a young-ish Ben Mendelsohn (with red hair and Irish accent no less) doesn’t acquit himself terribly well in a useless role. As for Alan Rickman, he’s OK but plays a stock villain and more low-key than you might expect. The whole film is distressingly low-key, actually. Wincer’s direction is lethargic as he and American writer John Hill (“Little Nikita”) present your fairly typical, clichéd townie western, just in a different setting. The difference isn’t remotely enough. Instead of just transplanting a ‘townie’ western onto the Aussie outback landscape, I think I would’ve preferred a western set in Australia that showed the difference between the two countries rather than the similarities.

 

Tom Selleck makes for a perfectly agreeable western lead, but this forgettable flop is otherwise highly mediocre and disappointing. Good-looking, but easy to see why this one didn’t attract audiences at the time. 

 

Rating: C

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chilly t
Read more

Review: Cinderella (1950)

The story of poor young Cinderella (voiced by Ilene Woods), treated as a servant by her nasty stepmother (voiced by Eleanor Audley), and dismissed by her thoroughly rotten, ugly stepsisters. Her only friends are a group of mice, who are forever being menaced by a cat named Lucifer (or as I call him, Grumpy Cheshire Cat). The King (hoping to find a wife for his charming son) is throwing a ball and every available young woman is invited to attend, and Cinderella is most excited to go. However, her stepmother and stepsisters do all they can to prevent this from happening. But with help from the mice and one fairy godmother (voiced by Verna Felton) later, and Cinderella looks set to attend the ball. You know the rest, folks.   Lovely 1950 Disney animated movie from directors Clyde Geronimi ( “Peter Pan” , “Lady and the Tramp” ), Wilfred Jackson ( “Fantasia” , “Alice in Wonderland” , “Peter Pan” ) & Hamilton Luske ( “Pinocchio” , “Fantasia” , “Peter Pan” ), that is a bit too s
Read more

Review: Eugenie de Sade

Eugenie (Soledad Miranda) makes a deathbed confession to author/biographer (Jesus ‘Jess’ Franco himself), recounting the tale of how her depraved stepfather (Paul Muller) groomed her into a life of depravity, debauchery, and murder.   Not to be confused with the similarly titled “Eugenie…The Story of Her Journey into Perversion” (by the same director) or “Justine de Sade” (which is not to be confused with Franco’s own “Justine” for that matter), this 1973 Marquis de Sade adaptation from writer-director Jesus Franco ( “99 Women” , “A Virgin Among the Living Dead” ) is perhaps the perfect marriage of Franco, sleazy material, and actors. Basically this is what Franco’s “She Killed in Ecstasy” might’ve been like if it were based on a Marquis de Sade work. There’s a few slow spots here and there, but overall I actually think this is Franco’s best film. Yes, even better than my previous choice “Vampyros Lesbos” , and better than his more ‘respectable’ films like “Count Dracula” (a
Read more