Review: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Actor Nicolas Cage is experiencing a career downswing to the point where his agent (Neil Patrick Harris) is sending him to Spain for a gig for a rich super-fan (Pedro Pascal). A million bucks to spend a few days with a fan? It’s not exactly working with David Gordon Green, but it’ll do. But then a couple of FBI agents (Tiffany Haddish and Ike Barinholtz) informs Cage that this super-fan is also an international arms dealer, and they want Cage to be their inside man. The actor is now basically starring in a real-life scenario that sounds like one of his action blockbusters! A mediocre waste of the kernel of a good idea and a game leading man.

This 2022 meta-ish movie from director Tom Gormican (“That Awkward Moment” with Miles Teller) and his co-writer Kevin Etten (an executive story editor on “Desperate Housewives”) is surprisingly lazy, safe, and massively disappointing. Instead of the Spike Jonze-esque take that could’ve been applied to the premise, Gormican and Etten feel content to give us Nic Cage in a parody of a Nic Cage action movie. Even then I’m not sure the dumbing down is entirely intentional. Worst of all, I can’t even say this film is Nic Cage’s best film in decades because I’d still rather watch “Drive Angry” or even the direct-to-DVD “Primal”.

 

With Cage basically playing a fictionalised version of himself, the film is still a little more fantastical than I expected. Instead of Cage sending up his current mostly direct-to-DVD career, he’s attending parties to earn a buck. It’s cute, but by heightening things like that, I think you take the bite out of it a little too much. It also doesn’t make much sense to come up with fictional movie titles and then feature other real-life actors and make references to “Con Air” and such. Cage’s frustration at the struggling circumstances of his career still brings about some humour, but not as much as I’d anticipated. I normally find Cage’s ‘Nic Cage’-y-ness irritating and self-indulgent but due to the comedic nature of the film, I was able to laugh at his patented idiosyncrasies and even found them a bit charming at times. I just figured this would be darker, more biting or even just weirder. Instead it’s surprisingly safe and mainstream, going for easy gags and references. Was I supposed to find it hilarious that Cage watches himself in “Guarding Tess” on a laptop? Is that even a gag? The plot involving the characters played by Pedro Pascal, Tiffany Haddish etc. is really formulaic stuff. I also think the alter-ego thing is poorly wasted, more fun could’ve been had there.

 

Casting Irish actress Sharon Horgan as Cage’s ex-wife is a total head-scratcher. They share zero chemistry, and Horgan’s one of the least ingratiating screen presences in recent years. She seems (on screen at least) unpleasant, unlikeable, and uninterested in being on screen. Also, she may be the first Irish person I’ve struggled to understand. She talks very quickly but also mumbles. I rarely if ever need subtitles for someone speaking English, but Horgan tests my ears in every film I’ve seen her in. On the plus side, Neil Patrick Harris is amusing as Cage’s agent. Also funny is the idea that Cage apparently thought his teen daughter would enjoy watching “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”. 

 

Lightweight and massively disappointing. Nic Cage and Pedro Pascal are enjoying themselves, I less so. Made for (casual) Cage fans, you guys are likely gonna love this. I found it sometimes mildly enjoyable but mostly middling and really safe.

 

Rating: C+

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chilly t
Read more

Review: Cinderella (1950)

The story of poor young Cinderella (voiced by Ilene Woods), treated as a servant by her nasty stepmother (voiced by Eleanor Audley), and dismissed by her thoroughly rotten, ugly stepsisters. Her only friends are a group of mice, who are forever being menaced by a cat named Lucifer (or as I call him, Grumpy Cheshire Cat). The King (hoping to find a wife for his charming son) is throwing a ball and every available young woman is invited to attend, and Cinderella is most excited to go. However, her stepmother and stepsisters do all they can to prevent this from happening. But with help from the mice and one fairy godmother (voiced by Verna Felton) later, and Cinderella looks set to attend the ball. You know the rest, folks.   Lovely 1950 Disney animated movie from directors Clyde Geronimi ( “Peter Pan” , “Lady and the Tramp” ), Wilfred Jackson ( “Fantasia” , “Alice in Wonderland” , “Peter Pan” ) & Hamilton Luske ( “Pinocchio” , “Fantasia” , “Peter Pan” ), that is a bit too s
Read more

Review: Eugenie de Sade

Eugenie (Soledad Miranda) makes a deathbed confession to author/biographer (Jesus ‘Jess’ Franco himself), recounting the tale of how her depraved stepfather (Paul Muller) groomed her into a life of depravity, debauchery, and murder.   Not to be confused with the similarly titled “Eugenie…The Story of Her Journey into Perversion” (by the same director) or “Justine de Sade” (which is not to be confused with Franco’s own “Justine” for that matter), this 1973 Marquis de Sade adaptation from writer-director Jesus Franco ( “99 Women” , “A Virgin Among the Living Dead” ) is perhaps the perfect marriage of Franco, sleazy material, and actors. Basically this is what Franco’s “She Killed in Ecstasy” might’ve been like if it were based on a Marquis de Sade work. There’s a few slow spots here and there, but overall I actually think this is Franco’s best film. Yes, even better than my previous choice “Vampyros Lesbos” , and better than his more ‘respectable’ films like “Count Dracula” (a
Read more