Review: Barbie

Set in a matriarchal world where everyone is either a fawning Ken or an admired Barbie, the film is centred around one particular Barbie (Margot Robbie) who seems to undergo something peculiar: Fear. She has a sudden anxiety about her own mortality, and that thought leads to an existential crisis which will see her to venture out of Barbieland and into the ‘real’ world in search of the child who has apparently been ‘playing’ with her. Barbie is accompanied by Ken (Ryan Gosling), a preening idiot who finds the ‘real’ world and its patriarchal society very much eye-opening, which leads to trouble when he comes back to Barbieland and tells the other Kens what he has learned.

 

Although I’m clearly the wrong demo (45 and a hetero male), I was really rooting for this 2023 film from Greta Gerwig (the solid “Lady Bird”) and co-writer Noah Baumbach (Wes Anderson’s enjoyable “Fantastic Mr. Fox”). I figured there was room for some real wit and enjoyment, and any film that pisses off the Ben Shapiros of the world inherently has me on their side more often than not. I didn’t actively hate the film, in fact the production design is perfect and the pop soundtrack is appropriate. Sadly the film just didn’t do anything for me. And it wasn’t just because of demographics. The target audience may be young girls but the very obvious message of this film – still wildly misinterpreted by a lot of people strangely enough – is speaking to everyone. It’s just that the message doesn’t come with any depth whatsoever. Plastic toy or not, there needed to be substance here and there isn’t. Instead, Gerwig and Baumbach give us valid but obvious messaging, lame and obvious jokes, and actors who perform like they’re the joke instead of playing actual characters. The characters and film itself have less dimensions than the actual dolls that inspired it all, and aside from Margot Robbie the actors don’t seem interested in giving genuine acting performances. Instead of giving depth to characters you could invest in, the majority of the cast seem content to have just learned their goofy dance choreography. Basically, it’s a bottom tier “SNL” sketch with one joke stretched to feature length (the appearance by Kate McKinnon basically confirms it). That just won’t do for me, and I twiddled my thumbs a bunch throughout despite the good nature and bright colours on display.

 

I’m honestly amazed that so many people jumped to call this movie either man-hating or at the other extreme misogynistic. It truly boggles my mind because I felt like after just 30 minutes of this film that I had already been beaten over the head with a very obvious message: Extremism on any end of the spectrum is bad, we all need to work together. It’s not string theory, people. Right away I could tell that the Barbie world was strictly feminist, then we’d get the reverse of that, then in the end there’d be a compromise somewhere in the middle. If you think this film is misandrist, your name is clearly Ken and you don’t want to acknowledge the problems of inequality in the real world. At any rate, a lot of people didn’t get it, I got it and didn’t care for how it was delivered. It felt like a mixture of didactic messaging stopping the film completely dead, “Pleasantville” done wrong. I truly do agree with the message here, I just don’t like its handling.

 

There’s an amusing “2001” parody that I didn’t expect and a cute bit where Barbie gets ‘flat feet’ which I liked. I also liked how the arrival of Barbie and Ken has effects on the ‘real’ world, so there’s ripples in the fabric on both ends of the spectrum. That’s clever in a pretty safe and unambitious film. The best moment in the entire film isn’t even a comedic one, it’s a really beautiful moment between Barbie and an elderly woman. Otherwise the film plays itself out pretty darn quickly. Meanwhile, as good as Robbie is as Barbie, her Oscar-nominated co-star Ryan Gosling is a real mixed bag. To get back to “SNL”, he reminds me of some of the worst hosts the show ever had, where the host just doesn’t have any comedic ability or has an unwillingness to loosen up. So you end up feeling a sense of second-hand embarrassment for them. Robbie looks to be having a ball, Gosling tries and fails to hide his embarrassment. He does have his moments though where he kinda got me on side. His best moments are in the ‘real’ world where he sees that men are on top. Even worse than Gosling is America Ferrera, who might just give the worst Oscar-nominated supporting actress turn since Renee Zellweger somehow won for rootin’ and tootin’ in “Cold Mountain”. Ferrera’s amateurish as hell for someone quite experienced at comedic acting. The film is capped off by a terribly drawn out finale that is completely deflating and just plain weird.

 

Margot Robbie is good, and give she produced the film she clearly believed in it. Unfortunately nothing else worked for me beyond the pink surface and bubble-gum pop soundtrack. I got the message, I didn’t actively hate the film, I just don’t think it was any good.

 

Rating: D+