Shameless Self Expression

Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) suffers a personal loss that sees him becoming suicidal and completely despondent, until mutant Colossus comes along to attempt to bring him back from the brink. They find themselves involved with a violent young mutant named Firefist (played by Julian Dennison), who is currently being hunted by the gruff, Terminator-esque Cable (Josh Brolin). Cable, however is no mere black-hatted supervillain. He comes from the future and has been sent back to prevent Firefist from becoming the uncontrollable sociopathic killer who kills Cable’s family. Firefist, meanwhile is hooking up with the formidable mutant Juggernaut, who is all-round bad news. This time out, Deadpool assembles himself an also-ran team of weirdo would-be superheroes like Vanisher (allegedly played by a big star), average guy Peter (Rob Delaney), Zeitgeist (Bill Skarsgard), smart alec Domino (Zazie Beetz), Bedlam (Terry Crews), and Shatterstar (Lewis Tan). The first “Deadpool” was a smash hit...

Journalist Akira Kubo arrives on an island where a meteorological experiment is being conducted by a team led by Tadeo Nakashima and also featuring Akihiko Hirata, Kenji Sahara, and the surly Yoshio Tsuchiya. Whilst the experiment goes horribly wrong, Kubo is busy hanging out with an island girl (Bibari Maeda), as well as Godzilla and his dorky son Minya (AKA Minilla, depending on the version/language). Other monsters like the spider Kumonga and a couple of giant praying mantis provide non-human conflict. No one is gonna try and convince you that this 1967 film from director Jun Fukuda is a good film. It’s not, and it won’t get a good score from me (Being the hypocrite that I am, I probably won’t apply this same logic in every case. This ain’t an exact science, folks). If some want to call it one of the worst Godzilla films ever made, fair enough. I’m not entirely certain I could mount a terribly convincing counter-argument, aside from ‘Well, I could name several that are wo...

A family of four (Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson, and their two kids) head for a camping ground/caravan park where they are beset by creepy masked weirdos hanging about. I didn’t take to the 2008 “The Strangers” , one of the worst horror films of the 00s. In my review I remarked:   ‘I’d argue that 90 minutes of a blank screen would be more eventful than this film.’. Harsh but true, although apparently most other people really liked the film. People other than me are weird, is the message we can take away from this. Anyway, good news, this 2018 sequel from director Johannes Roberts ( “The Other Side of the Door” , “47 Metres Down” ) and screenwriters Bryan Bertino (director of the original film) & Ben Ketai (co-writer of something called “Malevolent” ) doesn’t suck quite as much. Yeah, still sucks. Sorry. Like the first film, this one claims to be ‘Based on true events’ and like the first film, I’m very much calling bullshit on that. For starters, the firs...

Kirk Douglas plays a wealthy rancher with designs on Snowy River, where a supposed fortune in gold is left untapped. Tom Burlinson plays likeable young horseman looking to make his mark in the world. Sigrid Thornton plays Douglas’s wilful daughter, whom Burlinson falls for. Douglas turns up in a secondary role as Burlinson’s wily ol’ coot friend. Jack Thompson plays rugged horse rider Clancy, Lorraine Bayley plays the rich landowner’s hardened sister, and Terry Donovan plays Burlinson’s dad. This 1982 George Miller (The Scottish-born director of “Bushfire Moon” , “The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter” ) and not much else of note) film is a part of Aussie culture, it’s based on a Banjo Patterson poem that is part of Aussie culture, and yet here I was in 2019 watching it for the first time at age 39. And I was mostly enticed by the casting of American actor Kirk Douglas. Scripted by TV actor/writer Fred Cul Cullen (who worked in both capacities on the Aussie TV staple “Ho...

Whilst shipwrecked on an island, three young men team up with a mystery man of possible criminal persuasion (Akira Takarada) to thwart the evil atomic plans of a secret criminal organisation known as The Red Bamboo. Meanwhile, Godzilla tangles with the likes of the title monster, as well as Giant Condor, with Mothra chipping in from time to time as well. Jun Tazaki and Akihiko Hirata (eye-patch in tow) play the Red Bamboo Commander and a Red Bamboo Captain, respectively. Considered by many to be among the worst of the Show Era in Godzilla films, this 1966 Jun Fukuda film definitely brings Godzilla and Mothra far too late to the party. It also has goofy young protagonists that didn’t quite ingratiate themselves with me entirely, I must say. However, this very, very 1960s film is mostly quite solid stuff and certainly of superior quality to “Son of Godzilla” and “Terror of Mechagodzilla” from the same director. Scripted by Shinichi Sekizawa (some of the best kaiju films: “Mot...

Kermit The Frog is destined for stardom and heads for Hollywood, encountering the rest of the Muppets along the way. Various celebrities appear in cameos, with a more substantial appearance by Charles Durning as a crook trying to wrangle Kermit into his latest money-making scheme. Although I’m probably a bit partial to “Muppet Christmas Carol” , you’d have to be pretty hard to please not to enjoy this James Frawley ( “Kid Blue” , “The Big Bus” ) directed, 1979 big-screen adventure for Jim Henson’s felt creations. Scripted by “The Muppet Show” writers   Jack Burns & Jerry Juhl, I’m not normally a fan of road movie plots, but in a way it’s the perfect story to be telling for the big-screen debut of these characters as we learn just how it all came to be that these characters found one another. It helps that The Muppets are great company and that it’s all over in about 90 minutes. This is a charming, really lovely film with a lot of heart and memorable characters. It’s ...

Friends (Samuel Davis, Gage Golightly, Nadine Crocker, Dustin Ingram, and Matthew Daddario) go to a cabin in the woods for some fun. End up victims to a flesh-eating virus. Not fun. The question is why? It’s not just because the original “Cabin Fever” sucked, but it did. It’s not just that the original “Cabin Fever” only came out in the early 00s, but it did. It’s not just that “Cabin Fever” was basically a rip-off of “The Evil Dead” which itself had two sequels and a remake, but it’s still true. It’s all of the above that had me asking why the hell this 2016 film from director Travis Z exists. Actually, the part about it sucking does potentially have some merit: A remake of a shit film at least in theory could try and succeed in making the original material work. And y’know what? It’s ever-so slightly less crap than the original film. So well done to Mr. Z for making a completely pointless, largely scene-for-scene (apparently the big difference being that shots are inve...

Labelled a ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Fable’, this flick stars Diane Lane as Ellen Aim, a rock star kidnapped by Raven (Willem Dafoe) and his gang of motorcycle goons, which feature Lee Ving among them. Michael Paré plays Ellen’s brooding ex-boyfriend Tom Cody, a mercenary-for-hire paid by Ellen’s obnoxious dweeb manager/boyfriend Billy Fish (Rick Moranis) to swing into town and get her back. Madigan plays McCoy, a tomboy former soldier and mechanic who latches onto Cody to become his driver and sidekick of-sorts. Deborah Van Valkenburgh plays Cody’s sister Reva, Bill Paxton plays a goofy-looking bartender named Clyde, whilst Richard Lawson, Rick Rossovich, and Peter Jason play corrupt cops. Mykelti Williamson, Grand L. Bush, Stoney Jackson, and Robert Townsend play The Sorels, a Four Tops-esque vocal group who hitch a ride with Cody and the gang. Marine Jahan, who provided much of the ‘dance’ in “Flashdance” plays a dancer in a bar here. It really boggles my mind that this 1984 Walter ...