Review: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man



Set in a near-future in which Burbank, California is set to become a giant international airport (huh?). Sleazoid bad guy banker Tom Sizemore has sent his bullet-proof trench coat-wearing goons (led by the fat, drugged-out Baldwin brother Daniel Baldwin) to rough up bar owner Julius Harris and close the place down. Enter mythic heroes Harley Davidson (Mickey Rourke, whose entrance is absolutely hilarious) and rodeo cowboy The Marlboro Man (Don Johnson), friends of Harris, who plan to rob the bank in order to keep their beloved steakhouse in business. Add to that a role for wrestler Big John Studd (one of my personal heroes) as a good buddy of the title duo, and Vanessa Williams (who clearly saved reading the script for last!) as Studd’s seriously hostile woman (!).The underrated Chelsea Field plays the estranged wife of Johnson’s moody Marlboro Man, whilst Tia Carrere plays window dressing at Sizemore’s company, and hottie Kelly Hu can also be glimpsed. Look out for veteran B-grade punching bags Sven-Ole Thorsen and Branscombe Richmond in typical bit roles. Meanwhile, take note that Sizemore also deals in a new drug, scarily similar to Crystal Meth…well, scary if you know anything about Sizemore…or fellow “Celebrity Rehab” inmate Daniel Baldwin, come to think of it.



Behold the closest thing to a positive review for this film that you’re likely to find anywhere!



If taken as pure pop-culture fantasy B-grade trash, this 1991 Simon Wincer (the once credible Aussie director of “Phar Lap” and “The Lighthorsemen”) action-comedy flop really is watchable (It’s like an Albert Pyun film, only intentionally cheesy instead of unintentionally incompetent and empty). Admittedly, the film’s barely-there attempts at a futuristic setting have one thinking ‘huh?’ to say the least, but the cast is mostly effective; Rourke (who hates the film and reportedly hates the director too) is ideally cast, Harris, Field, and wrestler Big John Studd are all likeable, but Johnson is a bit of a grump. Sizemore’s slimy villain needed a few more scenes to have any real resonance. 


As dopey, uber-macho entertainment it does what it sets out to do and I certainly wasn’t bored. It’s not high art and it doesn’t want to be. A must for hog-riders and Big John Studd fans to say the least. Everyone else, stay well away, ‘coz this one’s a niche film for sure. Is it really that bad?


Rating: C+

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