Review: Carolina


Despite being named after a State (like her siblings), the title character (Julia Stiles) has turned out rather normal, all things considered. Her grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) is somewhat eccentric but has been good enough to raise all the kids of her wholly irresponsible, womanising drunk son (Randy Quaid, natch). Stiles, meanwhile, is having problems at work (she works for a TV dating game show hosted by seriously weird Alan Thicke), when she meets a Hugh Grant-ish type who was one of the show’s clients, until he realised he’d much rather date Stiles. This upsets Stiles’ best pal and neighbour Alessandro Nivola (quite charming). Nivola, a ghost writer for famed romance novelist Barbara Eden (yes, Barbara Eden playing a queen bitch!) has pined for Stiles a helluva long time now, and is jealous of the new competition. This all sounds totally original, doesn’t it? Not! Mika Boreem is irritating as Stiles’ horse-riding, phony-accent sporting younger sister Maine (yes, Maine. Oh, how funny!…whatever). Azura Skye plays the pregnant other sister Georgia. Jennifer Coolidge is well-cast as the slutty Aunt.

 

A good cast doesn’t even come close to saving this well-meaning but totally run-of-the-mill Marleen Gorris romantic-comedy/drama from 2003. The romantic angle is totally predictable, and the family scenes seem like leftovers from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”. Quaid doesn’t exactly do his Cousin Eddie schtick here, but it is kind of like a straight version of the role he amusingly played in “ID4”. He’s fine as always, but the character is sorely underdeveloped (Coolidge, meanwhile, might as well have not turned up, well-cast as she is, she’s given nothing to do). In fact, the entire cast is good here (“Growing Pains” dad Alan Thicke provides some laughs as perhaps the cheesiest game show host of all-time. He’s dressed like Eric Idle in the “Galaxy Song” segment of “Meaning of Life”), though Boreem’s faux-British character is pretty grating.

 

It’s as if director Gorris (“Antonia’s Line”) and screenwriter Katherine Fugate expected the wonderfully talented cast to make more of the story and characters than is actually on paper. But when you’re starting with bugger-all, even the greatest cast ever assembled wouldn’t be able to make something out of nothing.


Rating: C

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chilly t
Read more

Review: Cinderella (1950)

The story of poor young Cinderella (voiced by Ilene Woods), treated as a servant by her nasty stepmother (voiced by Eleanor Audley), and dismissed by her thoroughly rotten, ugly stepsisters. Her only friends are a group of mice, who are forever being menaced by a cat named Lucifer (or as I call him, Grumpy Cheshire Cat). The King (hoping to find a wife for his charming son) is throwing a ball and every available young woman is invited to attend, and Cinderella is most excited to go. However, her stepmother and stepsisters do all they can to prevent this from happening. But with help from the mice and one fairy godmother (voiced by Verna Felton) later, and Cinderella looks set to attend the ball. You know the rest, folks.   Lovely 1950 Disney animated movie from directors Clyde Geronimi ( “Peter Pan” , “Lady and the Tramp” ), Wilfred Jackson ( “Fantasia” , “Alice in Wonderland” , “Peter Pan” ) & Hamilton Luske ( “Pinocchio” , “Fantasia” , “Peter Pan” ), that is a bit too s
Read more

Review: Eugenie de Sade

Eugenie (Soledad Miranda) makes a deathbed confession to author/biographer (Jesus ‘Jess’ Franco himself), recounting the tale of how her depraved stepfather (Paul Muller) groomed her into a life of depravity, debauchery, and murder.   Not to be confused with the similarly titled “Eugenie…The Story of Her Journey into Perversion” (by the same director) or “Justine de Sade” (which is not to be confused with Franco’s own “Justine” for that matter), this 1973 Marquis de Sade adaptation from writer-director Jesus Franco ( “99 Women” , “A Virgin Among the Living Dead” ) is perhaps the perfect marriage of Franco, sleazy material, and actors. Basically this is what Franco’s “She Killed in Ecstasy” might’ve been like if it were based on a Marquis de Sade work. There’s a few slow spots here and there, but overall I actually think this is Franco’s best film. Yes, even better than my previous choice “Vampyros Lesbos” , and better than his more ‘respectable’ films like “Count Dracula” (a
Read more