Review: Rambo: Last Blood

Former ‘Nam veteran and killing machine John J. Rambo (Sly Stallone) is still traumatised by his combat experiences and his subsequent treatment back home. It’s been a long time, and Rambo tries to keep the PTSD issues at bay, while he lives on a ranch with a family who may or may not even be his family. Supposedly he has a teenage ‘niece’ (Yvette Monreal), who has a grandmother who I think might’ve been Rambo’s housekeeper at some point. Maybe she still is. Anyway, the not-quite niece has a yearning to reconnect with her long absent father. John and…whoever the women he’s living with is (the details are sketchy for a film with such a long set-up), try to dissuade her from tracking the man down. Apparently he’s bad news and wants nothing to do with the girl anyway. Of course, Monreal nicks off to Mexico to find the deadbeat dad anyway. There she quickly finds her dad, but she also runs into serious trouble. She runs into some bad dudes who kidnap her with intention to pass her around in the sex slave trade. Rambo goes in search of her, teaming up with a local journo (Paz Vega!) to find her and bring her back home safe. The bad guys better hope Rambo doesn’t catch up with them though, ‘coz he’s kinda got his own trade; The killing trade, and he’s an expert in his field.

 

The original “First Blood” has never really gotten the credit it deserves, likely because a lot of people confuse it for its first two sequels. For starters, most people refer to it as ‘”Rambo”. Nope, that’s the fourth one set in Myanmar. “First Blood”, unlike the sequels (including “Rambo: First Blood Part II” and “Rambo III”), was if not an anti-war war film, certainly a pretty complicated film. The screenwriters (star Sly Stallone among them) and director Ted Kotcheff made a pretty terrific entry in the ‘Disturbed returning Vietnam Vet’ subgenre, one that was decidedly less trashy and more sympathetic than most of its ilk. It also contained in my opinion one of Stallone’s three best-ever performances as a former soldier who just wanted to be left the fuck alone. He really, really wanted to be left the fuck alone. “Rambo: First Blood Part II” and “Rambo III” were tolerable but much more run-of-the-mill Reagan-era rah-rah America vs. The World action movies. Hell, one of ‘em even had Rambo essentially winning the Vietnam War years after the fact. Rambo had become an icon, a symbol instead of the fully-fleshed, disturbed-yet-still-human character from the first film. Years later, Stallone helmed the ultra-violent fourth entry “Rambo”, which left me conflicted and unsure somewhat, but certainly not bored. It wasn’t quite a rah-rah Conservative right-wing action film for the 00s, but it wasn’t exactly complex, and certainly not as memorable as “First Blood”.

 

Having successfully revived the Rocky Balboa character with “Creed” (and the lesser “Creed II”), it was inevitable that money-maker Stallone would give ‘ol John J. Rambo a similar go-round again. That leads us here with this truly awful 2019 exploitation film from director Adrian Grunberg (The OK “Get the Gringo”) and screenwriters Matthew Cirulnick (A TV producer-writer, 2002’s “Paid in Full” with Wood Harris being his only real prior feature film screenwriting gig) and Stallone himself. Yeah, even “Rambo: First Blood Part II” is looking alright compared to this grim Chuck Norris meets Robert Ginty-wannabe mess. Given the Hispanic characters on the good guy side of things, one can’t quite cry racism here, but it’s still every bit the Reagan-era exploitation movie, only worse than most. This is “Invasion USA” levels of badness and cheapness, and I’m not remotely surprised that the film comes from ‘Millennium Media’, because it might as well have been produced by Golan-Globus.

 

Things go wrong at the outset, with a strange rescue scene that seems straight out of something like “Cliffhanger” or “Daylight”, with a Stallone performance to match. What I mean is, although Stallone’s performance is relatively OK (far from his best though), it doesn’t really feel like he’s playing Rambo, strangely enough. At least, he’s definitely not playing the same guy who was in the previous “Rambo”, to my reckoning. That guy was barely recognisably human throughout the film. I found it hard to get into this one because I couldn’t find my bearings with this particular John J. Rambo, despite the presence of the actor who has always played him. The filmmakers try to connect this rancher/father figure character to the Rambo we’ve previously known but I think it likely requires that you forget any of the sequels, and even then it’s a tough sell. He’s even had a haircut, making him look just like any other Sly Stallone character. One wonders if what we’re seeing is partly inspired by “Homefront”, a rather enjoyable Jason Statham film that Stallone wrote the original screenplay for, as well. The farm scenes and early stretch rather reminded me of that film crossed with “Taken” or something closer to “Death Wish” territory or “The Exterminator”. The absolutely dreadful dialogue doesn’t help. Aside from one decent speech from Stallone to Paz Vega in the second half, it’s all woeful cornball exposition or ‘You’re not in the war anymore, only in your head!’ clichéd nonsense that sounds like it was written by a Millennial who sped through “First Blood” watching it on their mobile phone. Speaking of cliché, are we still doing human trafficking, border-crossing bullshit in 2019-20? Apparently so. The film is also dreadfully slow and dreadfully boring. 25 minutes into a 90 minute movie is too late for the plot to be kicking in, I’m afraid. That’s especially so for such a simple, trashy piece of exploitation as this. I can sometimes get into right-wing oriented 80s action movies if they at least move at a good clip (Even Chuck Norris made a couple of decent films), but no dice here. It’s a snoozer. Meanwhile, the projection work in driving scenes is appallingly shoddy, Millennium are in peak Cannon mode here. And what in the hell is Paz Vega doing here? Remember when she was on the verge of crossing over into mainstream Hollywood? That sorta never really quite happened and it’s quite sad to see her dragged into something like this, a somewhat embarrassing film.

 

Aside from Stallone, the only other halfway decent performance comes from a disturbing Oscar Jaenada as one of the villains, but there’s not much you can do with such a negative cultural stereotype. The only real plus here is the solid music score by the reliable Brian Tyler (“Frailty”, “Fast & Furious 7”, “The Expendables” franchise). The film is extremely violent, but only in the back end of the film. There you’ll find a decapitation, a headless body, and an especially gory climax involving organ removal. The graphic content itself didn’t bother me, I like a good gory film just as much as the next creepy person. “The Story of Ricky” for instance. This isn’t good though, it’s a very long way from good. It doesn’t earn its gory finale in the least. It’s the kind of awful film that shows you Rambo’s bizarro underground ‘Nam tunnels in the opening act (which admittedly do seem like something Rambo would hang out in), so you know exactly where the finale is gonna take place. That’s probably the biggest 80s cliché of all, to be honest.

 

Unsubtle, unconvincing, tired entry into a series that should never have been. The original “First Blood” is a classic of its type, a film with a lot more character complexity and restraint than a lot of people seem to give it credit for. The sequels are varying degrees of unnecessary, this one worst of all. This film is ghastly and of no use to anyone, more akin to a Z-grade Robert Ginty 80s exploitation movie than something a little more considered like “First Blood”. Worst of all, it’s not even the fun kind of exploitation movie. It’s boring and badly made. One of Stallone’s worst films in a career full of far too many duds, really. His performance is fine, the film is a mistake that should never have been made, let alone be released.

 

Rating: D-