Review: Armed Response (1986)
Bar owner and ‘nam veteran David
Carradine teams up with his crusty ex-cop father (Lee Van Cleef) to take on
Yakuza boss Mako and his gang after they kill Carradine’s idiot brother (David
Goss). Ross Hagen plays Goss’ turncoat partner, Michael Berryman and
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa are henchmen, Dick Miller and Laurene Landon are another
couple of crooks. Brent Huff plays Carradine’s other brother.
A pretty incredible B cast is at the
mercy of C-movie veteran director Fred Olen Ray (“The Tomb”, “Hollywood
Chainsaw Hookers”, “Beverly Hills Vamp”, “Wizards of the Demon
Sword”) in this deathly paced 1986 action movie. To call it one of the
better Fred Olen Ray films I’ve seen says little in the film’s favour. The film
is too damn short to be so damn slow, and there’s also a severe lack of action
for a supposed action movie. Did we really need all those super slow-mo war
flashbacks?
It’s also unevenly acted, with Lee
Van Cleef and particularly Ross Hagen and Mako the best of the bunch. Van Cleef
apparently had the script re-written to his liking and seems to be having a lot
of fun here. Ross Hagen steals his every moment as the slimeball partner of one
of Van Cleef’s sons. Mako isn’t on screen enough for my liking but he’s solid
enough nonetheless as the villain. Amusing cameo by Olen Ray regular Dawn
Wildsmith as a thug in a bar. A rarity for a woman to get such a role but she
handles it perfectly. Michael Berryman isn’t around much for someone
prominently displayed on the poster but he makes his minutes count. That’s
action villain veteran Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Mako’s chief bone-scraper. On
the downswing, David Carradine is one-note in a role that requires an actor
with greater emoting ability than the man was ever capable of. Stoicism and
serene calm are his strengths, and a tortured ‘nam veteran doesn’t call for
much of either. The worst performances by far come from David Goss and Laurene
Landon. Goss looks like Andrew Stevens, sounds like Clint Eastwood, and acts
like this is his first time in front of the camera (it was his third film and
his third to last). As for Landon, she plays Dick Miller’s heat-packing
offsider and she’s porno-bad. To be honest, one-scene wonder Miller has turned
in far better work than he does here, too.
There are some plusses here, as the
film is nicely shot by Paul Elliott (“Friday the 13th Part VII:
The New Blood”, “My Girl”) in that slick, 80s neon-lit action movie
way. The synth score by Thomas Chase (“976-EVIL” and a lot of animated
stuff) and Steve Rucker (ditto) is good too. However, none of these things
bring this one up beyond mediocrity. There’s too much holding it back.
Even the most undemanding 80s action
movie junkie will probably find themselves twiddling their thumbs during this
short but agonisingly slow film. The cast looks good on paper, but is uneven in
actuality. The screenplay is by T.L. Lankford (“Bulletproof” with Gary
Busey) from a story by Lankford, Paul Hertzberg (far more prolific as a
producer on the likes of “976-EVIL”, “Bulletproof”, “Relentless”,
and “2 Lava 2 Lantula”, and director Olen Ray himself.
Rating: C
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