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Showing posts from September 9, 2018

Review: Hall Pass

The long-standing marriages of Owen Wilson and Jenna Fischer, and Jason Sudeikis and Christina Applegate, appear to have hit a rough patch. Child-rearing has found Fischer too tired for sex, whilst Wilson is kinda sorta noticing his young babysitter. Applegate and Sudeikis don’t have kids, but similarly, Sudeikis’ urges aren’t being fulfilled (except by himself), and his eye practically wanders out of its socket. One day, a mutual friend (Joy Behar, of all people) has a suggestion for the wives; Give their husbands a week-long ‘Hall Pass’, where the males have a week to do whatever they want, with whomever they want. The idea is that the men will realise that they’re carrying on like toolbag horndogs and it’ll make them see the light and appreciate what they already have at home. Whilst the boys are sowing their wild oats, the girls go on vacation and find temptations of their own. Nicky Whelan is the hot Aussie barista whom Wilson ogles, Rob Cowan is a douchebag rich acquaintance, Al…

Review: The Magic Box

The story of William Friese-Greene (Robert Donat), who began as an ambitious photographer experimenting with colours, before beginning his obsession with trying to invent motion pictures. Australian-born Margaret Johnston and Austrian-born Maria Schell (seemingly her first UK film) are the wives at various stages in his life, the latter is his beloved, sickly first wife, the former is his loving second wife who knows her husband means well even when he struggles to put food on the table and ultimately drives their children away.


Intended for the 1951 Festival of Britain, this John Boulting (the well-regarded, well-acted gangster pic “Brighton Rock”) biopic about a forgotten cinematic pioneer (whose role in the invention of motion pictures is still a controversial and much debated one), is a must-see for film buffs as it contains appearances by many of Britain’s working actors and stars of the time (apparently Sir Alec Guinness was the only one to turn down a role here). Some leave qui…

Review: The Dead Zone

Christopher Walken stars as a schoolteacher who gets into a car wreck and wakes from a coma to find five years have passed, and his girlfriend (Brooke Adams) has moved on. After leaving the care of doctor Herbert Lom, Walken (who still has lingering physical injuries and headaches) soon starts to experience odd visions. Upon touching someone, he seems to have the ability to see into their future or past. The media catch onto this supposed ‘gift’ when Walken agrees to aid Sheriff Tom Skerritt in apprehending a serial killer. Walken, however, just wants to be left the hell alone, though his dad (Sean Sullivan) sticks by him. Things take an intriguing turn when Walken touches hands with Presidential candidate Martin Sheen and sees a vision of the future that forces Walken to take drastic action. Jackie Burroughs plays Walken’s mother, Colleen Dewhurst plays the mother of the serial killer, and Anthony Zerbe plays a rich father who seeks Walken’s help in trying to get through to his rathe…

Review: Bad Girl

Sara West is a rebellious teen who has just moved into a new home with her adopted parents, who are frankly well and tired of her shit. West, naturally, has plans to skip out on arrival with friends. When plans change, West smokes some crack and then goes back home. Anyway, things really pick up when West meets neighbour Samara Weaving and the two become fast friends. However, is their friendship healthy for one another? And just why is a police detective (Rebecca Massey) looking for Weaving and calling her by a different name? Someone has secrets about to be unravelled, and that may not be the only thing unravelling.


This subpar 2017 thriller from writer-director Fin Edquist resembles a plethora of other subpar thrillers, with even its twists and turns being age-old. I find it bizarre that writer-director himself has said in interviews that the script ‘always felt like a bit of a telemovie to me’. How’s that for promoting your own damn movie? Although her rather posh accent jars with…

Review: Freejack

Race car driver Emilio Estevez crashes his car and has his body snatched from the year 1991 and transported to 2009 so that ruthless tycoon Sir Anthony Hopkins can use it to escape his own decaying body. Something goes screwy in the process (which isn’t very well explained to the audience anyway), Estevez, now a ‘Freejack’ says ‘Fuck that!’ and goes on the run instead. Grim-faced bounty hunter Mick Jagger (!) is on his tail, while Estevez tries to stay alive in a very different world. Rene Russo is Estevez’s girlfriend, who in 2009 has become a corporate bigwig, whilst David Johansen plays Estevez’s sleazy best friend, whom he goes to for help. Jonathan Banks is a corporate sleaze, Frankie Faison a homeless person, and Amanda Plummer a rod-packin’, foul-mouthed nun (!) who takes pity on poor Estevez. Look out for small parts played by Esai Morales (“La Bamba”), Grand L. Bush (The other ‘Agent Johnson’ from “Die Hard”), John Shea (TV’s “Lois & Clark”), and a cameo by Jerry Hall.


I …

Review: Submerged

Set in Uruguay (really Bulgaria), this lame actioner concerns scientist (more like rip-off merchant hypnotist) Nick Brimble’s scheme of brainwashing soldiers for his terrorist purposes. I’m a bit fuzzy on the details but I’d wager world domination plays a part. It’s up to ex-Special Forces guy Steven Seagal (who has been incarcerated but now released) and his also incarcerated special ops buddies (boofhead Vinnie Jones, crusty old P.H. Moriarty and foxy Alison King to foil the plan and rescue the hostages (which include a shockingly bad Gary Daniels). How about the title then? Well, the crew end up stuck in a submarine during the rescue, with zombified soldiers lurching around trying to kill them. William Hope is Agent Fletcher, instantly antagonistic towards Seagal, and this film’s resident a-hole ‘suit’.


2005 Anthony Hickox (yeah, the “Waxwork” guy) action flick is somewhere in between Seagal’s better direct-to-DVD films and the most awful films of his entire career (“Out For a Kill…