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Showing posts from June 9, 2019

Review: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

The island currently housing the dinosaurs is under threat from impending volcanic eruption. The US government ultimately declines to assist in rescuing the dinosaurs off that island. Former shrieking workaholic COO Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) now has a new job to go with a complete change in character/personality: She’s the head of a non-government organisation trying to raise funds to mount a rescue mission for the remaining dinosaurs on the island. She’s financially aided by Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell), the former business partner of Jurassic Park creator John Hammond. However, she also needs to rope in the services of Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), which is uncomfortable because…well, it didn’t end so well between the two of them. Isabella Sermon plays Lockwood’s granddaughter, Rafe Spall is the frail Lockwood’s assistant, Ted Levine plays a gruff mercenary, Justice Smith a scaredy-cat tech geek, Toby Jones fronts a dinosaur auction (!), and Geraldine Chaplin plays Sermon’s nan…

Review: Destroy All Monsters!

Set in the ‘future’ of 1999 where all of the Earth’s monsters have been captured and contained on their own island, which for some bizarre reason is called ‘Monster Island’. Yep, apparently I lived through an all-out monster attack. How did the Japanese government keep this a secret? Anyway, enough bad jokes for one review. All of a sudden, all 11 of the monsters start rampaging across the Earth- Paris, New York, Tokyo- you name it, it’s gonna get a mudhole stomped in it by some of the most destructive monsters ever seen. And Godzilla’s dopey son Minya/Minilla, who isn’t very destructive or monstrous. Akira Kubo and his space rocket crew (which I might add, along with scientists at a UN-sanctioned lab, were meant to oversee the island) soon learn that this is all part of a crazy alien plot by The Kilaaks, who use the monsters to soften up humanity for their impending invasion. It’s up to Kubo and his team to find a way to ward off both the monsters and keep The Kilaaks from fulfilling…

Review: Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

Newly pregnant Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is about to open a hotel named in honour of her late mother Donna (Meryl Streep). We spend most of the film flashing back to young Donna (Lily James) meeting the three men who will serve as parental figures to her eventual daughter Sophie. Andy Garcia plays a Greek hotel manager. The first film was a perfectly sunny, cheerful love letter to ABBA, and really only faltered when Pierce Brosnan decided to dis-grace us with his (lack of a) singing voice.


This 2018 sequel from writer-director Ol Parker (a former “Grange Hill” writer who also wrote “Imagine Me & You”) features unconvincing good cheer, Cher, third-tier ABBA songs, and ugh…Pierce is back. They really ought to have gone the “Spaceballs” route and subtitled this one “The Search for More Money”, because this is pretty desperate and empty. As was the case last time the Greek island setting is absolutely gorgeous, Amanda Seyfried has quite a lovely singing voice and Lily James is once aga…

Review: The Three Musketeers

Brave young D’Artagnan (Chris O’Donnell) aspires to be a musketeer like his deceased father. Unfortunately, now isn’t seemingly the best time to become a musketeer. That’s because the scheming Cardinal Richelieu (Tim Curry), advisor to the na├»ve King Louis XIII (Hugh O’Conor) has disbanded the musketeers in his plans to ultimately end up on the throne with the beautiful and innocent Queen Anne (Gabrielle Anwar) by his side. So when D’Artagnan arrives in Paris, not only is he informed of the bad news, he also gets on the wrong side of three recently unemployed musketeers (to the point of them individually challenging the cocky young swordsman to a duel. Those musketeers are godly ladies man Aramis (Charlie Sheen), brooding Athos (Kiefer Sutherland), and fun-loving braggart Porthos (Oliver Platt). However, before the duels can take place, the foursome are set-upon by some of the Cardinal’s guards. Eventually the three musketeers decide to join forces with the kid (whose sword-fighting s…