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Showing posts from November 18, 2018

Review: Date Night

Loving but overworked married couple Steve Carell and Tina Fey leave their kids with a sitter (Leighton Meester) one night a week to have dinner together, the title ‘Date Night’. Well this one night...it all goes to pot. Having a hard time getting a table at a fancy restaurant but too hungry to go home (sounds like a “Seinfeld” episode to me), they claim to be the ‘Tripplehorns’ when said name is called out, and promptly take the no-show couple’s table. This proves a poor decision as the Tripplehorns are apparently thieves who have gotten on the wrong side of mobster Ray Liotta, who has sent two corrupt cops (Jimmi Simpson and Common) to deal with them. They plead ignorance to the ‘flash drive’ Liotta needs, but the thugs aren’t buying it, thinking they’re pretending to be a mild-mannered couple to shirk responsibility and not get ‘whacked’. They manage to somehow ditch these goons, but now they’re scared and on the run in a New York full of seemingly unsympathetic people. Mark Wahlbe…

Review: Fight Club

Edward Norton plays a guy with a miserable job as an insurance adjuster, investigating automobile accidents to see if there was a manufacturing problem, and, whether it is better for the company he works for to recall the products or deal with the lawsuits. He hates it, but it gives him money to spend on furnishings from IKEA catalogues. He’s also an insomniac, possibly because his existence is an empty one. As perhaps a means of emotionally connecting with someone, Norton attends a variety of self-help meetings for ailments and addictions he does not have. Hey, sometimes a guy just needs a hug, fake or not! But still, it’s not an uncomfortable existence, he’s able to sleep again, until two people walk into his life; Firstly there’s the trashy Goth-looking Marla Singer (Helena Bonham-Carter), another phony who attends self-help meetings, forcing a division among the list of groups, so they don’t get in each other’s way, and so that Norton can get some damn sleep. Secondly there’s smoo…

Review: The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Ryan Reynolds plays a proudly proficient protective services agent (i.e. a bodyguard) whose impeccable record ends up with one very, very bad black mark on it. A couple of years later his ex-wife (Elodie Yung, tedious) throws him a bone just as he’s at pretty much his lowest. She’s an Interpol agent and needs his help in taking a vital witness (Samuel L. Jackson) safely across Europe to meet a court date to testify against vicious dictator Gary Oldman. Oldman has already sent his goons to mow everyone down at the safe house, with Yung and Jackson the only survivors. The twist here? Jackson is a prolific hitman who has even attempted to end Reynolds’ life on multiple occasions. Multiple meaning 28 occasions. Needless to say this is going to be one seriously disagreeable pair of reluctant partners as they shoot, punch, and maniacally drive their way to court. If they don’t make it there, it might be because of their homicidal hatred of one another, rather than external forces. Salma Hay…

Review: Straw Dogs (2011)

Hollywood screenwriter James Marsden and his hot wife Kate Bosworth are heading back to her backwoods Mississippi hometown, so that the former can spend some time working on a new script. They’re having Bosworth’s family home renovated, and hires a crew that includes Bosworth’s ex, Alexander Skarsgaard. Bosworth is annoyed by the crew’s crude behaviour (and the lack of work seemingly being done by them), whilst pacifist, non-religious city guy Marsden rubs the locals the wrong way. And then the handymen invite Marsden on a hunting trip, leaving Bosworth home alone and vulnerable. Eventually Marsden realises that his timid, pacifist ways just aren’t gonna work in this redneck town, and he needs to resort to means he would never previously have even thought of. Dominic Purcell plays an intellectually disabled local man who is a town outcast, James Woods is the embittered local football coach, and Willa Holland is his slutty daughter who chooses the wrong guy to flirt with.


I was not a f…

Review: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

King Uther (Eric Bana) is betrayed by his own brother Vortigern (Jude Law), who kills him and his wife, and usurps the throne. Thankfully, Uther’s baby son Arthur is whisked away to safety. Raised in a brothel as an orphan, Arthur (played as an adult by Charlie Hunnam) is lured out of hiding by Vortigern through the ruse of drawing the magical sword Excalibur from the stone. Once revealed, Arthur is promptly imprisoned. He is eventually aided by a small band of rebels hoping to bring down Vortigen. Led by Sir Bedivere (Djimon Hounsou) they also include the slippery long-bowman Goosefat Bill (Aidan Gillen) and a female mage (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) among others. Geoff Bell plays a nasty henchman, whilst Michael McElhatton and soccer star David Beckham also have small roles.


American filmmaker Antoine Fuqua already gave us a Guy Ritchie-esque cockney boofhead “King Arthur” movie, but Guy Ritchie (“Revolver”, “Sherlock Holmes”, “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”) himself has a crack at it with thi…