Shameless Self Expression

Young Richard Thomas is one of several German classmates encouraged by propagandist teacher Donald Pleasence to enlist and fight for the Fatherland in WWI. Whilst Thomas sees and experiences death and danger all around him guys like Pleasence (who calls Thomas a ‘dreamer’) stay at home, strategise and pontificate, as the youth are the ones doing the killing and dying. Thomas finds himself under the incompetent and blustery tutelage of megalomaniacal Drill Sergeant Ian Holm, a petty and cruel man who has no actual front line experience (and is also a complete coward). Thankfully Ernest Borgnine’s on hand as the practical, veteran soldier who is able to help guys like Thomas learn to stay alive, and cope with life on the front line.   I haven’t seen the much lauded 1930 version, nor have I read the Erich Maria Remarque novel, but I found this 1979 Delbert Mann (he directed Ernest Borgnine to an Oscar in “Marty” ) TV movie version to be fascinating and really quite powerful at tim...

Every seven years the world’s greatest assassins are gathered to take part in a tournament to bump one another off. It takes place in a new location every year and the winner gains $10 million and the satisfaction of being the winner. The rest earn nothing and obviously end up dead. In the middle of the mayhem is an alcoholic priest (Robert Carlyle) who is somehow confused for a participant and is now fighting for his life. Ving Rhames plays the defending champion, whilst other participants are played by the likes of Ian Somerhalder, Kelly Hu, Scott Adkins, and a flippy Sebastien Foucan. Liam Cunningham plays the overseer of the show, and the accompanying gambling carried out by wealthy interested parties.   “Smokin’ Aces” meets “Bloodsport” with a touch of “Mean Guns” in this violent, trashy, but enjoyable 2009 action movie from director Scott Mann ( “Final Score” ). How violent? We get exploding heads early on, you’ve been duly warned. The eclectic cast is interesting, wit...

The plot? Do you honestly expect me to provide you with a synopsis? Here’s an idea: Ask the filmmakers, I bet they can’t provide you with one either. Let’s just say our heroines Anna Faris and Regina King are faced with a bunch of lukewarm genre movie parodies.   2006 David Zucker ( “The Naked Gun!” ) spoof of all kinds of popular films ( “Saw” , “The Grudge” remake, “The Village” , “Brokeback Mountain” , “The War of the Worlds” , “Million Dollar Baby” ) has some chuckle-inducing moments to be sure (an hilarious musical cue provides laughs during the otherwise homophobic “Brokeback Mountain” parody), but the plot of the film is…well, bizarrely structured. The film runs through several genre pieces, some that just don’t fit, though I’ll give Leslie Nielsen’s extraneous U.S. President schtick a pass because it’s the funniest bit. This plays as though the plots for each of these films are running at the same time, so that Craig Bierko’s (admittedly amusing) Tom Cruise in “War of...

Louis XIV of France (Richard Chamberlain) is a cruel and scandalous ruler who frequently diddles about with mistresses right in front of his elderly, homely wife. He also treats his mother like crap, and is an all-round jerk. His corrupt finance minister Fouquet (Patrick McGoohan) is perhaps even worse. Watching the kingdom going to Hell, D’Artagnan (Louis Jourdan), one of the King’s famed musketeers, has a plan. Aided by Coulbert (Ralph Richardson) he hatches a plan to switch Louis with the remarkable lookalike Philippe (also Chamberlain) who has been languishing in an isolated prison, with his face encased in an iron mask! Jenny Agutter plays the sweet Louise who loves Philippe, which might prove a bit problematic when he’s supposed to act like he’s Louis, including carrying out his marriage to Marie-Therese. Ian Holm plays Duval, one of Fouquet’s associates. Look for Denis Lawson (Wedge in the “Star Wars” trilogy) as a key part in D’Artagnan’s plot, and Esmond Knight as Agutter’s e...

After the events of the first film, the Abbott family (Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmons, Noah Jupe) must search for a new place to live and avoid the creatures. Cillian Murphy plays a troubled family friend who reluctantly offers  them refuge. I called the first “A Quiet Place” something to the effect of  “Jump Scare: The Movie” , a film that featured an interesting and likeable family of characters and put them in a too-familiar situation and relied far too much on cheap ‘jump scare’ tactics. I find ‘jump scares’ annoying and startling, not scary and frankly they are among the laziest of all horror scare-making tropes, so I was never going to have a great time there. Well, with a healthy box-office return and a 90%+ Rotten Tomatoes rating a lot of you likely disagree with me. So now here’s the 2020 follow-up from producer-writer-director John Krasinski and it’s just flat-out useless. Your mileage may differ, but I suspect not greatly much this time. The characters are still ...