Shameless Self Expression

Ugh…I’ll try to set this one up. A dopey international spy spoof in which Robert Cummings plays a photographer and wannabe ladies man who gets entangled in all kinds of spy plot confusion. The plot is concerned with a ring of international gold smugglers who, as the title suggests, don elaborate disguises to their secret meetings so as to remain a mystery from even one another. Margaret Lee plays a lounge singer, whilst the title characters are played by ‘guest stars’ Christopher Lee, Dan Duryea, George Raft, and Brian Donlevy. The fifth golden dragon is absent for much of the film and not difficult to figure out the identity of (despite it not making a lick of plot sense at the same time). Rupert Davies and Roy Chiao play a Scottish police inspector and his Chinese colleague, whilst Klaus Kinski plays a creepy goon. Maria Rohm and Maria Perschy play a couple of hot sisters whom Cummings tries to ingratiate himself with.   Cheap crime-comedy nonsense from 1967 flatly directed ...

Set just before WWI, an elderly Sherlock Holmes (Peter Cushing) and Dr. Watson (Sir John Mills) investigate two mysteries that might actually be related. One involves the murders of several homeless beggars, the other being the mysterious disappearance of a German Prince. Holmes also reacquaints himself with ‘The Woman’, AKA Irene Adler (Anne Baxter), a woman from Holmes’ past who proves to be completely inscrutable. Gordon Jackson (as a police inspector), Ray Milland (the Home Secretary) and Anton Diffring (as the shadowy Graf Udo Von Felseck) play the figures who bring Holmes’ attention to the two cases.   Peter Cushing is my favourite Sherlock Holmes, and this 1984 TV movie from Hammer veterans Roy Ward Baker ( “Scars of Dracula” , “The Vampire Lovers” , “The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires” ) and writer Anthony Hinds ( “Dracula Has Risen From the Grave” , “Taste the Blood of Dracula” , “Scars of Dracula” ) proved not only his final go-round in the part, but also his final T...

Based on a Douglas Hayes novel, Kenneth More stars as an actor in his 40s whose career has still yet to take off. He’s barely earning a quid, and resisting the urge to do commercials. He sees himself as a ‘real’ actor, aspiring to take on the classics, and enjoys low-paying provincial repertory theatre acting until he hopefully gets that big break. However, how long can one’s pride hold up to rejection after rejection and a lack of money coming in? Billie Whitelaw plays More’s long-suffering occasional bed companion, who is tired of his shit. Edmund Purdom (who attained brief stardom in 1954’s “The Egyptian” ) plays More’s acting mate who eventually lands a fairly substantial gig overseas. Cecil Parker plays a failed theatre actor who moves in with More for a few days…and then keeps staying. Dennis Price turns up briefly as an a-hole agent, whilst a bespectacled Frank Finlay can be seen as More’s agent.   Here’s one you’ve probably never even heard of. The underrated Kenneth Mo...

Mercenary/soldier Jesse Metcalfe is met by tech billionaire Bruce Willis and Metcalfe’s former soldier buddy Texas Battle (now Willis’ security head). They have a new gig for Metcalfe and his Black Ops security team (which includes Natalie Eva Marie and Swen Temmel). Willis has a new AI technology that could prove dangerous if in the wrong hands. Unsurprisingly, it has fallen into the hands of a smug mercenary/terrorist known as ‘The Pardoner’ (Sergio Rizzuto) who has also kidnapped Willis’ scientist daughter (Lala Kent) for good measure. Metcalfe, his team, Willis, and Battle all rock up to an agreed meeting place where ‘The Pardoner’ requires Willis to provide him with the access code for the new tech in exchange for his daughter (who invented the tech). Unsurprisingly, shooting ensues…in between lots of talking.   This review was originally posted before the announcement of Willis' illness/retirement and certain comments are obviously no longer relevant. Nonetheless I'd ...

Based on a 1998 Esquire magazine article, Matthew Rhys stars as a cynical journalist asked to do a puff piece on long-time children’s TV educator/hot Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks). Rhys sees the story as beneath him, but as he spends more time with the kindly Mr. Rogers, he comes to really like and greatly admire the patient, compassionate man. Meanwhile, Rhys has a wife (Susan Kelechi Watson) and family at home while he spends time with Mr. Rogers. He also has an estranged father (Chris Cooper) who has appeared out of nowhere, apparently looking for some kind of late-stage reconciliation. Rhys isn’t remotely interested, but you-know-who tries to turn that around.   Some of you are gonna violently resist this 2019 film from director Marielle Heller ( “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” ). It’s about seemingly the nicest man America ever produced, he’s played by ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ Tom Hanks, and it’s got the kind of plot that many cynics will roll their eyes at. This particular cynic rather enjoye...