Shameless Self Expression

Lowly, loser puppeteer Craig (John Cusack) gets a gig as a filing clerk working for eccentric Dr. Lester (Orson Bean), operating out of the 7 ½ floor of a building (!) because the original owner’s wife was a dwarf. Anyway, the married Craig finds himself getting the hots for the office bitch Maxine (Catherine Keener) who wants nothing to do with him. That is until Craig discovers a hidden portal in the building. A portal that appears to lead inside the head of actor John Malkovich (!). You can only stay there for 15 minutes, but once Craig shows this to Maxine, she starts to soften up to him a bit. Hell, even Craig’s frumpy wife Lotte (Cameron Diaz) likes Maxine…a lot. A real lot. Meanwhile, John Malkovich himself starts to suspect something is going on, and isn’t remotely happy about his mind being manipulated like it’s an amusement park ride. Unquestionably one of the cleverest, most original, and weirdest films of the last 25 years, it’s only unlikeable characters that hol...

An earnest Brendan Fraser stars as a businessman, husband to Keri Russell, and father to their three kids, two of whom suffer from Pompe disease, a rare genetic disorder in the vicinity of muscular dystrophy. The disease severely limits their life-span, with them not expected to live past the age of 9 (In real-life, however, it’s apparently much earlier than that, as dramatic license has been taken here). One of the kids’ 9 th birthday is not too far away, Fraser is fed up with doctors unable to give him answers or his kids miracle cures, and decides to take a more pro-active approach. He attempts to approach prickly medical researcher Harrison Ford, who apparently has a new perspective that the establishment aren’t keen on, but might just be what Fraser is looking for. Hermit-like Ford isn’t an easy man to get a hold of, and not very likeable or optimistic when Fraser does reach him, but Fraser manages to form a business partnership with him (through some financial fudging on Fra...

Sir Ben Kingsley plays David Kepesh, author, literature professor, and although in his early sixties, he’s quite the pants man, too. Divorced, he’s had an on-and-off sexual relationship with his mistress (Patricia Clarkson), and at the end of every school year he throws a big party that is basically a hunting ground for his next young conquest. This time around, it’s the lovely Consuela (Penelope Cruz). However, Consuela proves to be quite unlike any other girl...David actually develops real feelings for her, and isn’t quite sure what he’s meant to do with those feelings, which include jealousy, mistrust, and insecurity. Is this narcissistic commitment-phobe (who probably has more years behind him than ahead of him) going to become his own worst enemy and blow something potentially enriching? Things certainly seem doom-laden. Dennis Hopper plays a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet and David’s best friend (and fellow philanderer), who warns David not to get too close before it ends embarr...

Damn right it is. Picking up where the previous film left off, this one has hero Fin Shepard sent back in time by his son to Prehistoric times to put a stop to the first Sharknado (as opposed to the first “Sharknado”, if you understand). That doesn’t quite work out however, and Fin joins wife April (Tara Reid), as well as fellow time-travellers Nova (Cassandra Cserbo), Bryan (Judah Friedlander), and Skye (Vivica A. Fox) travelling through various points in time killing sharks. Given the pageviews my reviews for this franchise tend to get, I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to this SyFy franchise. However, since the series peaked at the third one, it’s probably not a bad idea to put this thing to rest. This 2018 film from director Anthony C. Ferrante (the previous films) and screenwriter Scotty Mullen isn’t as fun as “Sharknado 3” , but it’s the next most enjoyable of the franchise. A distant second. None of these films is any good, none of them are even trying to be, which is...

Soldiers of fortune Tom Cruise and Jake Johnson are recruited by Annabelle Wallis to exhume the tomb of mummified Egyptian pharaoh Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella). She gets reawakened and all hell goes loose. Russell Crowe turns up briefly as Dr. Henry Jekyll, who has a particular interest in monsters. They’ve seemingly been trying for a modern-day Universal Horror cycle franchise for years now, and it hasn’t worked. Mostly because the films have been largely awful. This 2017 flick from director Alex Kurtzman (best known as a J.J. Abrams associate and screenwriter of “The Island” among other films) and screenwriters Christopher McQuarrie ( “The Usual Suspects” , “Valkyrie” ) and Jon Spaihts ( “Prometheus” , “Doctor Strange” ) isn’t as bad as say “Van Helsing” , but still very, very weak. There’s the bare bones of something here…the bare bones of about 12 different undernourished scripts with little or no sense made, particularly on a tonal level (I should add that a few other write...

Will Smith is the title superhero, who ain’t no Superman. He’s an alcoholic jerk, who dresses like a bum, doesn’t give a damn, and when he does help out humanity, he gets little thanks in return. Basically men, women, and children all call him an a-hole, rather deservedly. Actually, the reason why he gets no thanks in return (aside from his surly demeanour) is because he tends to be a little rough and clumsy in carrying out his heroic pursuits. In fact, he’s run up a pretty sizeable damages bill with the city (one particularly mishap- one!- causes damages around $9 million!), and the DA wants to put Hancock in prison, somewhat ironically. Enter failing PR man Jason Bateman who wants the drug companies that employ him to do right by people less fortunate, and whose life Hancock has just saved. He has an idea to give Hancock a PR makeover. But in order for Hancock to be once again considered the city’s saviour against criminals, Bateman has the radical idea of having Hancock volunte...