Posts

Showing posts from April 14, 2019

Review: Mission Impossible III

Currently training newbie agents, retired Impossible Mission agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) swings back into action when a friend and protégé (Keri Russell) is captured and killed by evil arms dealer Owen Davian (Phillip Seymour Hoffman), who is looking for a MacGuffin called a ‘rabbit’s foot’. And this guy will do anything to get it, which does not bode well for Hunt’s new squeeze, Michelle Monaghan, who knows nothing about his top-secret job. Ving Rhames is back as Hunt’s buddy/right-hand man Luther (getting more screen time here, lecturing Hunt on the impossibility of mixing secret mission work with a stable family life), who is now accompanied by Jonathan Rhys Meyers and the foxy Maggie Q, bringing things back to where they began in the first film where Hunt had a whole team, he went it alone for most of the second film. Simon Pegg plays the film’s answer to Q branch, whilst Billy Crudup (quite good) is Cruise’s IMF friend who sends him after Russell, Laurence Fishburne (getting no…

Review: Barbarian Queen

Lana Clarkson and Frank Zagarino are about to be married when their village is invaded, and almost everyone is killed and/or raped by your stock-standard evil henchmen-types. Zagarino is taken prisoner, Clarkson’s sister attacked. Clarkson and a couple of other warrior women (Katt Shea being one of them) survive, and journey to evil Armando Capo’s castle for a little rescue and revenge.


So long as you don’t go into it expecting anything close to a good movie, this 1985 swords ‘n’ tits fantasy from director Hector Olivera (“Wizards of the Lost Kingdom”) and screenwriter Howard R. Cohen (the earlier and similar “Deathstalker”) is a pretty easy watch. However, after quite a fun start it does seem to lack energy and muscle. That’s what you get with a cheapo director at the helm I suppose. I can’t be too harsh on Mr. Olivera however, he gives us tits in the opening minute. In fact, if you like swords and tits, there’s plenty of both in just the opening five minutes alone. That said, the op…

Review: mother!

Well-cast film in which wife and interior decorator Jennifer Lawrence fixes up husband Javier Bardem’s childhood home while he suffers writer’s block. One night a stranger claiming to be a doctor (Ed Harris) happens upon their abode mistaking it for a B&B. Bardem, being a nice guy lets the stranger (who seems to have some kind of phlegm-y ailment) stay the night. Lawrence isn’t terribly happy about this. Soon when the doctor’s wife (a perfect Michelle Pfeiffer, in one of her best roles in years) turns up as well, Lawrence is even less pleased. Eventually Harris’ kids turn up, things get rowdy, and Lawrence appears to be getting anxious/neurotic/crazy about everyone’s indifferent or just plain rude behaviour towards her. Things are weird and only get weirder. I’m not kidding, the film is insane.


This 2017 psychodrama from writer-director Darren Aronofsky (“The Wrestler”, “Noah”) has wildly divided audiences. A lot of people loathe it. I’d wager most of those people simply don’t like…

Review: Death Wish

Bruce Willis stars as a mild-mannered ER surgeon (!!) whose wife (Elisabeth Shue) and teenage daughter are victims of a home break-in. The wife dies, the daughter’s in a coma, and Willis gets increasingly fed-up with the thumb-twiddling done by detectives Dean Norris and Kimberly Elise. Willis is no “Dirty Harry” expert of dispensing vigilante justice, but damn it, the streets are scummy, the crooks are on the loose, and somebody’s gotta do something. Vincent D’Onofrio plays Willis’ ne’er do well brother, who worries about his supposedly straight-laced older brother’s state of mind. Len Cariou plays Willis’ gun-totin’ father-in-law.


The world didn’t need a remake of “Death Wish”, and it certainly didn’t need one from the guy who made “Hostel”. The best thing I can say about this 2018 film from Eli Roth (“Cabin Fever”, “The Green Inferno”) is that it’s not as disgusting and objectionable as I’d feared, and is certainly better than “Death Wish II”. It’s sadly inevitable that Bruce Willi…

Review: The 15:17 to Paris

The true story of three life-long American friends (Spencer Stone, Alek Skarlatos, and Anthony Sadler, as themselves) travelling around Europe who are faced with a terrorist situation on a train. The film flashes back to their somewhat delinquent childhood (Judy Greer and Jenna Fischer play two of the mums), as well as the military days of Spencer and Alek whilst Anthony goes to college. They agree to meet up somewhere in Europe when Spencer and Alek are on leave. Thomas Lennon cameos as a middle-school principal.


Director Clint Eastwood (“American Sniper”, “Sully”) gives us another true-life tale of American heroism with this 2018 re-enactment. Unfortunately, he’s tried for something a little different and fancier than usual, and it flops and dies on him. The film just doesn’t work due to the approach Clint has taken in telling the story. Initially hearing that Clint was telling a story in a different way than usual was what actually intrigued me going into the film. Basing a film ar…