Shameless Self Expression

Bradley Cooper (smarmy as a smarmy smarm can smarm) stars as a stringy-haired loser writer who has just been dumped by his girlfriend (Abbie Cornish). A chance encounter with his former brother-in-law Johnny Whitworth sees things take a potential upward turn. He’s a former drug dealer who claims to be a legit pharmaceutical company employee now, and he tells Cooper about a new drug that apparently allows access to areas of the brain not normally possible. He gives Cooper a sample of the (not yet on the market) drug, and before long Cooper finds he’s able to think clearly, get work done in record time, memorise things effortlessly, and even has increased powers of deduction. Eventually he decides to quit writing altogether and make money on the stock market with his new abilities, after having acquired a loan from a Russian gangster (Andrew Howard) to set him on his way. His analytical prowess also makes him useful to the likes of rich guy investment banker Robert De Niro, who has a b...

  Lame, stale action-comedy with Robert Carradine and Billy Dee Williams teaming up as a couple of unorthodox cops. Carradine is the goofy guy with jealousy issues where his ex Valerie Bertinelli is concerned, whilst Williams is the jazz enthusiast ladies’ man. They go together about as smoothly as Vegemite and bleach. Anyway, they’re hell-bent on nabbing mobster Barry Sattels and will go to any length necessary, even if it earns the ire of their superiors (including stalwart Peter Graves). Unfortunately, Sattels is a model citizen so far as anyone knows, and convincing anyone otherwise will be a hard task. But soon our not-so intrepid detectives uncover a whole mess of corruption that even reaches their own department! Doris Roberts plays Carradine’s nagging mother, famed wrestler Gene LaBell has a cameo, and soap actress Shari Shattuck plays a hot chick in the opening scene.   There have been some good ‘buddy teams’ out there over the years in the action-comedy genr...

Former WWE/F superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin stars as a mudhole-stompin’ border patrol guy in Montana, near the Canadian border. He’s had a rough trot of it lately, with a partner being killed on the job (Bye bye, Eric Roberts), and a rebellious teen daughter to look after (Marie Avgeropoulis). Things get even worse when he and his daughter are taken hostage by a bunch of thieves, led by Gil Bellows, and experience tracker Austin is forced to guide them through Montana woodlands. Apparently their former leader (Michael Hogan) screwed them, taking off with the loot from their latest job and heading out into the woods. Gary Daniels and Michael Eklund play henchmen, and Donnelly Rhodes is the local sheriff. Ever wondered what “Cliffhanger” would be like if it starred Steve Austin and that guy from “Ally McBeal” instead of Sly Stallone and John Lithgow? Well this 2010 action flick from Keoni Waxman (Seagal’s rather decent “The Keeper” ) comes pretty close to giving you that e...

Somewhat loserish Will Ferrell gets fired from his 16 year job as Regional VP of Sales, and his wife leaves him all on the same day. This inspires some serious alcoholic consumption and slashing his boss’ tires and leaving the knife stuck in the tire, which ruins much chance of being rehired as well. Oh, and the wife also dumps all of his shit on their front lawn and changes all the locks. And his car gets repossessed too. Apparently he got on quite a bender on some work-related excursion to Denver recently, that resulted in disgrace that we only gradually learn the details of. So what’s a loserish guy played by Will Ferrell bordering on depression going to do when he’s locked out of his house? Grab some beer, pull up a chair and just sit and drink himself into a coma, that’s what. Not even being sprayed by the timed sprinkler system, nor a visit from the cops (including his AA sponsor, played by Michael Pena) is enough to convince Ferrell to move off his lawn, let alone move on with...