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Showing posts from June 17, 2018

Review: Cyborg

In the post-apocalyptic 21st century, heroic Gibson Rickenbacker (Jean-Claude Van Damme) escorts Dayle Haddon on a mission to Atlanta, to deliver vital info on a plague cure. Vincent Klyn stars as menacing Fender Tremolo who leads a band of dangerous thugs hell-bent on keeping society in the scummy state it is (God knows why, though). It turns out that Gibson has a very personal grudge against the monstrous Fender. Deborah Richter turns up essentially as the love interest.


It’s strange that prolifically craptastic director Albert Pyun (“Mean Guns”, “Adrenaline: Fear the Rush”, “Omega Doom”, “The Sword and the Sorcerer”) and the uber-crap team of Golan-Globus (AKA Cannon Films, Provider of Chuck Norris and Michael Dudikoff’s lunch money) didn’t team up until this 1989 post-apocalyptic actioner. I say it’s strange because by this point, Cannon were already on their way to Bankruptville long before this Unholy Trinity of Pyun-Golan-Globus was released. The other strange thing is that des…

Review: Mackenna’s Gold

Marshal Gregory Peck is the only one who knows the whereabouts of a secret cache of gold (he memorised and destroyed the map), and bandit Omar Sharif (not nearly as fiery as he should be) forces him to take him there, with several other greedy parties (typically sleazy Eli Wallach, blind man Edward G. Robinson, and wussy Brits Anthony Quayle and J. Robert Porter are the only ones given any considerable time) also wanting in, when word spreads. Camilla Sparv is a fetching fellow hostage, who makes goo-goo eyes at Peck, sending horny and jealous Injun woman Julie Newmar into a major hissy fit. Keenan Wynn, a genuinely good character actor (see his fine work in “Kind Lady”), is unfortunately saddled with the dud role of Sharif’s Mexican (!) accomplice, whilst Telly Savalas is a crooked cavalry leader.


Despite one helluva cast (14 Oscar nominations between them, and 3 wins), this 1969 gold-seeking film from director J. Lee Thompson (The original “Cape Fear”, “Firewalker”, “Battle for the …

Review: Patriot Games

Retired CIA analyst and former U.S. Marine Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) is on vacation in England with his wife (Anne Archer) and daughter (Thora Birch) when they find themselves unwittingly in the vicinity of an attempt on the life of Lord Holmes (James Fox), a member of the royal family. The culprits are an off-shoot of the IRA, the most prominent members played by Patrick Bergin, Sean Bean, and an English woman played by Polly Walker. Lord Holmes survives the attack, Bergin and Walker flee, Bean is captured and arrested, whilst Ryan mortally wounds Bean’s little brother. After returning to the States, Ryan learns that Bean has escaped and hooked up once again with his comrades, now with revenge on his mind. Ryan decides to request for reinstatement into the CIA to bring them all down. James Earl Jones and J.E. Freeman play Ryan’s CIA superiors, Samuel L. Jackson is Ryan’s CIA/Marine buddy Robby, Richard Harris plays an IRA spokesman named Paddy O’Neil, Alun Armstrong and David Threlfa…

Review: Fanboys

Set late in 1998, this film concerns a group of friends and “Star Wars” fanatics from Ohio, who plan a road trip to Skywalker Ranch, to break in, and sneak a look at the upcoming “Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” before the public gets to see it. Sam Huntington is the one friend who has since moved on from ‘childish pursuits’ to enter the work force, but decides to tag along when he realises his lifelong pal Chris Marquette is dying of cancer (and therefore may not live long enough to line up on opening day). Dan Fogler is the chubby one who lives in his mother’s basement (though he’ll bark at you that it’s a ‘carriage house’), Jay Baruchel is the most stereotypically geeky-looking as a guy named Windows, who has an online lover he’s never seen. Kristen Bell, meanwhile, is the token female, a comic book gal who clearly has a thing for Baruchel. Anyway, along the way they run afoul of the law (including Lando Calrissian himself Billy Dee Williams as ‘Judge Reinhold’), run into …

Review: Jaws

Based on the (apparently fairly average) novel by Peter Benchley, Roy Scheider stars as Chief Martin Brody, formerly of New York, but now police chief of the small resort town of Amity. He becomes alarmed when the body of a young swimmer washes up on shore, and the coroner’s report has it down as a shark attack. Unfortunately, Brody can’t get the tourism-motivated mayor (Hamilton) or town council to see reason and close the beaches. After a few more deaths, Brody and arrogant shark expert Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) find that the mayor is a little more flexible to the idea that there is indeed a shark problem. Enter grizzled old sea dog Quint (Robert Shaw), who will do the job for a price- $10,000. So, Brody (who seems determined to overcome his queasiness for water-related activities) and Hooper (who wants to study the shark up close) join Quint in heading out to find and capture/kill the shark. Lorraine Gary plays Brody’s concerned but supportive wife.


Regarded by many including m…