Review: Takers

A group of efficient bank robbers have just pulled off their latest job (they only pull one highly successful job a year) and are now happy to live it up and party for a while. Idris Elba is their leader, who is visited out of the blue by his recovering addict sister (played by Marianne Jean-Baptiste). Brothers Michael Ealy and Chris Brown spend most of their time hanging out at the club they own, with the former planning to marry girlfriend Zoe Saldana. Paul Walker is the focused second-in-command (or co-leader? I never figured that one out), who has recently come into contact with Ghost (rapper and reformed crim T.I.), a former associate fresh out of prison. Ghost offers up an armoured truck heist that seems like a sure thing, but it takes some convincing from team strategist A.J. (Hayden Christensen) to get everyone one else on board. Brown and Ealy, for instance, are worried that T.I. might not like his ex-girlfriend Saldana finding herself a new man, and don’t quite trust him. But the promise of a plethora of moolah ($30 million to be exact) sucks them in. Meanwhile, LA cops Matt Dillon (who plays the absolute worst dad of all-time) and Jay Hernandez are hot on their trail...that’s if they can get their own personal shit sorted out. Steve Harris plays a police lieutenant, Jonathon Schaech plays one of the robbers’ associates, and Glynn Turman (where the hell has he been?) plays the stern police chief.

Several things had me approaching this 2010 caper from director/co-writer John Luessenhop (who has “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D” lined up next) with a sense of worriment. I’d never heard of it before. It had a crap, generic title. And perhaps most forebodingly of all, it featured the unholy acting trio of Matt Dillon, Paul Walker, and Hayden Christensen. Backed up by R&B/rap stars T.I. and Chris ‘Let’s Not Go There’ Brown, no less. I’m probably being a bit harsh on Dillon, who is actually capable of good work (he was well-cast in “The Outsiders”, “The Big Town” and “Wild Things”), I’m just annoyed he was Oscar-nominated for the overrated “Crash” I guess and still haven’t forgiven him. However, Christensen is erratic (I liked him in “Shattered Glass” but he wasn’t much of an Annakin Skywalker), and Paul Walker...My God that man can’t act. In fact, I don’t think he so much acts as shows up on set and they roll the camera. I mean, at least Christensen offers up a fight scene, some tattoos and a snazzy porkpie hat here. Walker gives us...nothing. In a pretty crucial role, I might add. Oh, he has blue eyes. He’s got that. Personally, I think things would’ve been better had Walker and Dillon swapped roles.

As for the film itself? it turns out that it’s not much good, a wannabe “Heat” that’s all style and absolutely no substance, with a lot of posturing and cigar-smoking to boot. Dillon, for instance, is OK but wasted in a film that just isn’t very interested in his character. His subplot with partner Jay Hernandez is introduced way too late to be worth a damn, and is the oldest cliché in the book. Why not just rub out that part of the film altogether and give the crims more depth? The only character really afforded any depth is the one played by Brit actor Idris Elba, and he’s pretty good. However, even his character isn’t given enough depth because I was initially not even sure if his character was the leader of the gang, or Paul Walker’s. Rapper T.I., who co-produced the film (along with co-star Chris Brown and actors Gabriel Casseus and Morris Chestnut), glowers unconvincingly. He’s a pissweak villain, and a completely obvious source of trouble for the protagonists the moment he appears on screen. The best performance comes from Chris Brown, surprisingly, especially in the more physical scenes. He gets a damn good, extremely long, parkour-inspired chase scene on foot that is easily the best thing in the film (Christensen beating the snot out of some Russian thugs with a broomstick was pretty sweet too). Yes, it’s completely absurd, but who the hell cares?

The style here really is something, and even the filtered cinematography was fine, as you actually saw the sources of light for a change. If it weren’t for Luessenhop’s energetic direction and some really exciting action, the film would be almost worthless. It’s excitingly directed and edited without being too annoying and stylised. I could’ve done without the “Reservoir Dogs” slow-mo walk, though. I mean, for fuck’s sake, it was 1992. Move on! QT certainly has. The bland, clichéd story and overabundance of characters- with practically no depth (Big ‘ol Steve Harris, Nick Turturro, and especially Jonathon Schaech and the ubiquitous Zoe Saldana are completely wasted), combined with poor work by Paul Walker and T.I., really weigh the film down.

However, the final straw is actually the length. The film is way too long for something with such little character depth or original story. The director tries to liven it up with the action, but he can’t do anything about the poor script, which he co-wrote with Peter Allen, Gabriel Casseus, and Avery Duff. Perhaps if anything, it moves too quickly at the expense of any depth.

If you’ve seen “Heat”, you don’t need to see this bloated, posturing also-ran. It ends up more like “Mobsters”, that gangster flick which boasted hot young stars of the late 80s and early 90s (and Costas Mandylor), lots of shooting and posturing, and nothing else.

Rating: C