Review: The Killing Machine

Dolph Lundgren stars as a divorced investment broker who just happens to be a former Soviet assassin for the mob, as well as a KGB agent. Yeah, you read that one correctly. Unfortunately his old life is going to resurface, as people start targeting his family- ex-wife Stefanie von Pfetten, his young daughter Katelyn Mager, and his hot new girlfriend Lindsay Maxwell. One of these people happens to be a former ally, Samantha Ferris, who has seemingly sold out. Bo Svenson turns up as an acquaintance from the old days, who is now a Russian mobster.

This 2010 actioner is another directorial effort from star Dolph Lundgren, whose previous “Command Performance” was formulaic, but not bad. This one more drama-oriented than that film, but also pretty dull. I can admire Dolph for aiming a bit higher than just a simple shoot ‘em up actioner, but a slow and dull action-drama isn’t a good alternative, especially since it only runs about 90 minutes. In fact, it plays like a Michael Oblowitz-direction vehicle for Steven Seagal (“Out For a Kill”, “The Foreigner”), only done more competently. Given how awful Oblowitz is, however, that’s not saying much at all.

Lundgren’s style is way too overly (and unnecessarily) busy, and looks kinda ugly with handheld digital camerawork. I’m not keen on quick-cuts but I’ll admit that Lundgren occasionally uses it effectively for shock value in the action scenes. The opener is pretty cool, except that the digital photography makes it all kinda smudged, when one combines it with the lighting. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves with non-celluloid filmmaking and makes everything look like either a Dogme film or a porno. People say that Digital and handheld camerawork adds realism, but when you can see all the blemishes and high contrast, it only serves to remind you that you’re watching something through a camera lens. I hate digital filmmaking more than just about anything else in cinema (i.e. Not as much as actresses with ‘no nudity’ clauses taking on exploitation movie roles that someone without such a clause could’ve taken). I just don’t get the appeal, it generally makes everything look ugly and muted. But the titles are cool (very Robert Rodriguez), as is the hard rock opening song.

Unfortunately the screenplay by Raul Sanchez Inglis leaves a lot to be desired and you’re never hooked by the story. Once you find out why everyone’s after Lundgren, the film gets a bit more interesting, but by then, it’s too late. In fact, it comes in so late that it plays like the beginning of a sequel, leaving things to be way too rushed by the end. The finale is actually pretty lousy (aside from the cute twist at the end), with Bo Svenson trying hard but wasted in a two-scene cameo.

Even the action isn’t much cop here, a lot of the nastier stuff (a massacre where a guy’s spleen is removed) is merely seen post-mortem. Where’s the fun in that? I will say, though, that Lundgren is a much better actor than say Steven Seagal (and much more committed I might add), even if I prefer him as a villain or nutjob (He was the best thing in “The Expendables”, where he played a violently unstable comrade of Sly Stallone). He has also, unlike Seagal, kept in shape despite being roughly 50. His hard-boiled narration needs work, though. Lundgren’s voice is too naturally robotic and mumbly for that kind of thing. I also found his two gratuitous loves scenes with different women to be pretty self-indulgent and indicative of his main priority (himself).

The best thing in the entire film is the music score by James Jandrisch (who mostly works on little-known TV shows like “jPod” and “Blood Ties”) which is so exciting that it makes the film seem more energetic than it really is. Apparently the version eventually released is a re-edited version by the producers, not encapsulating Lundgen’s complete directorial vision. But I’m only seeing what I’m seeing, and this didn’t do much for me, no matter who the majority of the blame goes to.

Nothing much to see here folks, a tedious, glacially paced action film, even Lundgren fans might find it a bit of a slog.

Rating: C