Review: The Arrangement

Successful ad man Kirk Douglas loses it, fails in a suicide attempt, and subsequently re-evaluates his life, feeling nothing but contempt for his career or his nagging wife Deborah Kerr. Faye Dunaway is the mistress who helps Douglas see the emptiness of it all (not that we can tell from Douglas’ constant blank facial expression he carries throughout), but then leaves him to become a wife and mother. Richard Boone (never worse) is Douglas’ blustery, dementia-suffering Greek immigrant father.

Excruciatingly pretentious, overextended and frankly unoriginal 1969 Elia Kazan (“The Last Tycoon”, which was hideous and “On the Waterfront”, which thankfully was not hideous, even with Marlon Brando in the lead) satire, from his own (apparently best-selling) novel, is full of irritating directorial quirks and fancy edits (including a fight scene accompanied by the ‘POW!’ and ‘WHACK!’ captions you’d see on TV’s “Batman”. Why? Because Kazan can).

It lacks characters worth a damn, and features several well-known actors at their worst, particularly Kerr, in a horribly one-dimensional, whiny part. Douglas is a lot less hammy than the director’s original choice, Marlon Brando would’ve been, but his is a singularly glum performance. Only a young (and hot) Dunaway emerges unscathed here, with a fine performance under the circumstances (and a helluva bod too, I might add!), one that surprisingly never goes overboard.

Unwatchable, for the most part, and boy does it just keep going and going, the finale is especially painful to endure. The screenplay is by Kazan, who also produced this vanity project, which somehow has its defenders, particularly in recent years. They’re idiots, the film sucks. Trust me. You’ll be checking your watch well before the hour mark.

Rating: D-