Review: Down 'n' Dirty

Fred Williamson takes on police corruption that saw his partner (“Flash Gordon” himself, Sam J. Jones) killed. Gary Busey is a shady DA, Tony Lo Bianco is an unashamedly sleazy cop, the late Bubba Smith (sporting the worst toupee since George on “Seinfeld”) is one of the few good guys on the force, the also late Charles Napier is Williamson’s typically angry Captain, and Rod McCary is the police chief (he was the bad guy in Williamson’s subsequent “On the Edge” and the kingpin Luke Perry foolishly crossed on “90210”). In other roles we get David Carradine plays a shady rich guy (I think…more on that later), Andrew Divoff has a shockingly underwritten role as a henchman, and Randy J. Goodwin plays a green PI named after a particular brand of toothpaste that was probably a very funny in-joke for Americans but useless to anyone else because it’s an American brand.

Shockingly bad 2000 vanity project for Fred ‘The Hammer’ Williamson, whose Dakota Smith also turned up in the previous “Night Vision”, and in 2003 “On the Edge”, which was certainly a bit better than this. Williamson, in taking the reigns as filmmaker has openly admitted that he provides ‘pretty ladies, lots of action stuff’ and Hammer smokin’ his cigar…and clearly has contempt for his audience, by giving us bugger-all else here. Oh, there’s a story line of sorts, and yes the camera is turned on and pointed in the right direction, and yes the supporting cast looks very strong on paper…but there is no enthusiasm, no ingenuity, and barely competent filmmaking.

Still, it’s nice to see all these familiar faces in the one film, even if their performances are underwhelming for the most part; Napier does his job (he always was a pro), Lo Bianco hams as the role requires, Divoff and Busey were hopefully well-paid, Carradine looks to be waiting around for someone to properly integrate his character into the story, and Bubba Smith (Hightower from the “Police Academy” pictures) may have been a genial screen presence but the dude just plain couldn’t act. At least Jones gets offed early on, the lucky bastard. In fact, the liveliest performer is newbie Goodwin, in a flashy sidekick role.

With a screenplay by Michael Thomas Montgomery, diehard Hammer fans might dig it (are there any?), but seriously guys, he’s showing contempt for you. Don’t put money in the guy’s pocket, he doesn’t need it and he’ll just keep making crap like this.

Rating: D