Review: Attack Force

Steven Seagal plays the shamefully named Marshall Lawson (Get it? Here, have a cookie!) a special forces commander whose men are massacred by some nasties hopped up on some kind of super drug that makes people uber-strong but uber-roid rage as well. Throw in some standard issue Eurotrash baddies (it’s set in France but presumably filmed in the much cheaper Romania), and a paunchy has-been star who can’t be bothered delivering his own dialogue, and you’ve got one hell of a calamity.
 

This lame, uber-cheap 2006 Michael Keusch (the not-awful “Shadow Man”) atrocity joins “On Deadly Ground”, “The Foreigner”, “Ticker”, and “Out For a Kill” at the very bottom of the Seagal pile, this bizarro action-thriller makes little sense, and no one is trying very hard at all. The worst offender may be Seagal himself, who co-wrote this muddled flick (which was apparently meant to be about an alien plague- as some plot synopses suggest, but I could find no such references in the actual film) and gives one of the laziest performances in an increasingly lazy career. So half-arsed is he that someone else actually dubs a lot of his dialogue for him! And sounds not a damn thing like him! Methinks somebody has mucho contempt for his audience.

It’s all exceedingly dull and unoriginal, too (it has a very Golan-Globus vibe to it, albeit twenty years too late), making it hard to enjoy on a bad movie level either. It’s the absolute drizzling shits. The screenplay by Joe Halpin (“Shadow Man”, and Seagal’s much better “Into the Sun”) and Seagal himself was clearly nowhere near ready to put to film.

 

Rating: F