Review: The Hole (2009)

Chris Massoglia moves into a new town and new house with his mother (Teri Polo) and younger brother (Nathan Gamble). We are told that this is the latest of several moves the family have made. An adult male is conspicuously missing. Anyway, one day, Massoglia and Gamble are messing around in the basement when they come across a mysterious hole (which was padlocked, before the boys decided to open it). A seemingly bottomless one. Soon they’ve even got the pretty teenage girl next door (Haley Bennett) intrigued by the hole. And then sinister things start happening; ghosts appear, clown dolls seemingly come menacingly to life. Hmmm, seems like there might’ve been a good reason why the hole had been covered up and padlocked. Bruce Dern turns up as the previous owner of the house, named Crazy Carl, for pretty obvious reasons.

 

I’ve always had a soft spot for Joe Dante. He always comes across as a nice, affable guy, and an unabashed film buff, especially in regards to schlocky movies. I almost feel like we’re kindred spirits. As a filmmaker he has Steven Spielberg’s imagination and sense of childlike wonder, but usually with a dark sense of mischief and a film buff’s vision that sets him apart from others. Unfortunately, I very rarely enjoy his films as much as I want to. “The Howling” and “Gremlins” are terrific films, no doubt about it. But outside of those, there are a few solid films (“Innerspace”, “Matinee”, “Piranha”) but even most of those have an element of disappointment about them. Endings in particular are a frequent sore spot in his films, though in the case of the underrated “Explorers” I can at least understand what Dante was getting at with that ending. While I don’t like people referring to him as Spielberg-lite, but I can’t deny I know we’re they’re coming from. Still, an average Joe Dante film is usually more likeable and watchable than a lot of other filmmakers’ best output. This barely released 2009 kiddie horror pic is certainly among his lesser films, though there are still elements to like.

 

The basic plot and character dynamics are a complete cliché, it must be said. It’s rather disappointing that a guy as talented as Dante has given us what is, in essence, a mixture of “The Gate” and “The Goonies”, minus the humour and loveable characters of the latter. Familiarity can be comfortable and enjoyable, but for a man who rarely makes movies these days, I have to say I was expecting more than this. The basic character dynamics of two brothers and their cute new neighbour just seemed so ‘been there, done that’ and beneath Dante, who in peak form, can really deliver the goods (“The Howling” is one of the best werewolf movies ever made and “Gremlins” is a maliciously funny middle finger to the silly season). Hell, the broken family theme is right out of Dante’s buddy Spielberg, with the lovely Teri Polo essentially subbing for Dee Wallace Stone. I wasn’t especially bothered that Dante played this material largely straight, but the lack of awe and urgency was particularly troubling. Whether it’s the fault of actress Haley Bennett (who is a lot better here than in “Music & Lyrics”) or Dante, there’s no sense of ‘wow, gee whiz!’ when Bennett finds out about the mysterious hole.

 

However, it’s really the pacing that kills this film. I could handle the clichéd set-up a helluva lot more if it weren’t so damn slow to go anywhere. For a film that gets us right to the discovery of the hole, it sure takes its sweet time to go anywhere after that. A film that is narratively playing it so safe really needs a sense of urgency or energy, but Dante seems a bit rusty, or else he thinks the screenplay by Mark L. Smith (“Vacancy”) is a lot more original than it actually is. Compare that to a film like “1408”, which is a thoroughly cliché haunted room/house film, but an absolute nail-biter from start to finish, it never lets up. This film never quite warms up.

 

Having said all this, the basic premise still has a workability about it. You keep watching because you’re intrigued by the hole and want to know what the hell is going on down there. There’s one seriously messed-up moment involving a human eye that might just fuck your kids up for life. It’s definitely aimed at the 11-16 market, and those in such an age bracket will get more out of the film than perhaps I did, especially if your frame of cinematic reference doesn’t go very far back.

 

The film is definitely better than “Super 8”, another film in the Spielberg-protégé mould that also favoured chills over thrills, but much less enjoyably. The characters here, for instance, are easier to gravitate towards than the nobodies in “Super 8”, and unlike that film, I kinda knew what this film was going to be like going in so I wasn’t disappointed or felt misled. I also really liked the work of Teri Polo, even if the role required little of her. Dante regular Dick Miller gets it worse, however, in a silent walk-on as the world’s oldest pizza delivery boy. What the hell? Bennett, as I said, is improving, and I liked that she’s a little goofy here too. She’s got something. The film is stolen, however, by old pro Bruce Dern, who was clearly born to play a guy named Creepy Carl. He’s a great talent, and gives an excellent performance, though the role isn’t big (Fun fact: He killed John Wayne in a movie once, and probably still gets shit for it today. Poor guy!).

 

The film is extremely well-shot and well-lit, and although not as full to the brim with film references as other Dante films, I did like that there was a glove factory named Orlac. Nice one, Mr. Dante, I see what you did there. Hilarious use of a talking Cartman doll, too. Damn I miss “South Park”. Is it still running new episodes? I haven’t seen it in years. I was a lot less impressed with the menacing jester-like clown doll screaming ‘You want a piece of me?’ at a terrified child. Clowns and dolls freak me out, but that was just dumb.

 

Originally intended for 3D screenings before going straight to DVD in America and Australia, the film also shows the scars of having been intended for such a medium. The film’s special FX simply look too artificial in 2D, whereas the 3D probably would’ve masked the budget.

 

An OK film, but one that moves too damn slowly and is far too familiar to warrant such a pace. I mean, it’s not until the last twenty minutes that the protagonists work out what the hole is doing and decide to go down there. That’s a bit late if you ask me. I like the idea of a kids ghost movie, and it is creepy at times, but perhaps not often enough. It’s no “Gremlins”, or even “Explorers” or “Matinee”, but if you were disappointed with “Super 8”, this one’s slightly similar and a bit better. I just think it’s a bit shy of the mark, for my liking.

 

Rating: C+