Review: Valhalla Rising

A medieval Viking tale divided into several chapters (Wrath, Silent Warrior, Men of God, The Holy Land, Hell and The Sacrifice), Mads Mikkelsen plays mute warrior known as One-Eye, who escapes his pagan captors with the aid of a young boy (Maarten Stevenson), who seems to know the silent man’s inner thoughts. Along the way they hook up with crusading Christian Vikings (including Gary Lewis) who are in search of the Holy Land. But with much blood-shed and carnage, are they worthy of entering the land they seek? And when they get there, will it be all that they imagined? Meanwhile, the mysterious One-Eye is uninterested in their quest, driven only by the visions that come to him that may not be in line with the Crusaders’ quest.

 

I don’t expect this Nicolas Winding Refn (the in-your-face “Pusher” series, “Bronson”, and “Drive”) film from 2009 to top too many Best Films of the Year polls or anything, but I gotta say I thought it was really something. A mixture of arty stylishness and gory adventure flick, it’s like if Quentin Tarantino and Ingmar Bergman got together and made a baby. A Brit-Danish co-production, this right here is the film “300” should’ve been.

 

Although it brightens up from time to time, this is predominantly muddy, misty, violent stuff and the opening scene has Mads Mikkelsen biting a chunk out of a guy’s throat before strangling him to death. A later scene in which a guy gets his brains bashed in will likely be a tune-out/walk-out moment. If that doesn’t do the trick, then a rather realistic-looking severed head and disembowelment might. Y’all have been warned, this is one brutal-as-fuck film. But this is the Middle Ages, for cryin’ out loud, a time of the Black Death.

 

For once, a somewhat murky look is beneficial to a film, the fog is thick as hell and wonderfully oppressive. This is some incredibly foreboding and unwelcoming scenery, let me tell you. There’s some gorgeous (if arty) colour flashes throughout, too in between the greys and browns. It may not be pretty, but it’s pretty bloody effective. Or to put it another way, it’s gorgeous in a very, very harsh and bleak way. Cinematographer Morten Soborg really earns his pay here, and there’s not all that much camera shaking, either, thankfully. There’s one especially gorgeous, brief shot of a lake laced with fog that is truly stunning. Obviously foggy scenes don’t look as good on digital as they would in celluloid, but it’s bloody well-done for digital camerawork nonetheless. The colour flashes and voice-over narration seem to suggest something approaching arthouse (it has been compared to “El Topo”, which is a bit insulting given that “El Topo” is practically unwatchable), but I think this will play best to action/gore fans more than anyone (and it’s in English, so those who don’t like reading- i.e. idiots- won’t complain), and even then the audience will be limited. It will not appeal to...well, lots of people, really. I say that as an admirer of the film, however, don’t get me wrong.

 

The sound design in particular is really strong, and kinda creepy actually. Mikkelson doesn’t say a word and isn’t the most expressive actor in the world, but the role is a stoic one anyway. He’s like an Angel of Death or The Black Plague incarnate, because bad shit happens to all those around him. He kinda gives off stoic samurai vibes to me, in what is actually kind of a violent story about the Crusades. When one of the (admittedly Celtic-sounding) ‘Christian Viking’ warriors claims that Christ sacrificed his life so that we could be free of pain and suffering, the film clearly takes a cynical stance on this and has a particular distrust of Fundamentalists. So do I, so this is certainly not a film for particularly sensitive Christians, even those who liked “Passion of the Christ”. The film seems to suggest that religion has little place in such a harsh environment full of dread, blood, and guts. And that goes for the Pagans as much as the Christians. Mikkelsen is like the Anti-Jesus; Yes, he’s meant to be a stand-in for Christ, that much is obvious. However, follow him and die!

 

The only problem with the entire film is that the characters in the screenplay by the director and Roy Jacobsen are, frankly not very cluey. And that is being charitable. I mean, come on, Mikkelsen is quite clearly a bloody jinx, right? But that’s a minor complaint.

 

At the end of the day, it’s bloody arresting stuff for anyone who can take it, it’s probably the most doom-laden film I’ve ever seen. And that’s a compliment. The tone is harsh and realistic, the visuals border on otherworldly or at least afterlife, and yet it all came together for me. I didn’t mind the similar “Pathfinder”, but this leaves it for dead. Why hadn’t I heard of this film before? See this, and make up your own mind about its worth. It may be slow and somewhat uneventful, but on a visual and visceral level, it’s incredible.

 

Rating: B