Review: Ghost Shark

A supposedly dead shark has somehow (via some kind of mystical cave!) been transformed into a ‘ghost shark’ and terrorises a nearby town due to its ability to exist in any form of water, and it starts scaring children and tearing limbs. Even though it’s a ghost. Yeah. Lucky Johnson plays the shonky local mayor, Mackenzie Rosman is one of several teens trying to survive, and Richard Moll plays a seriously cantankerous town loony who actually knows a thing or two about the shark and the cave it sprouted from.

 

Directed by Griff Furst, I have no idea whether this 2013 SyFy schlockfest is better or worse than the infamous “Sharknado” (and comparisons are unavoidable), but I have to admit, it’s considerably more ‘fun’. On what level that fun is, well...that’s debatable I guess, but at least the film seems a bit more self-aware than the rather more po-faced “Sharknado”.

 

It’s certainly a better-looking movie than “Sharknado”, as cinematographer Andrew Strahorn doesn’t appear to be shooting things through the bottom of a dirty, bog-infested thunderbox. So there’s that. Composer Andrew Morgan Smith also deserves credit for giving us a reasonable facsimile of John “Jaws” Williams. I guess you could say the film is better ‘bad movie’ fun than “Sharknado”, it’s stupid as hell and has a lot more gore in particular. But I’m not entirely certain that it’s firmly planted in the ‘bad movie’ category, either. There’s a brilliant bit involving a severed head and a beer bottle. Meanwhile, I believe the bad movie formula goes something like: Fat kid + slip ‘n’ slide + ghost shark= hilarity. What, killing kids isn’t funny? Well maybe not to you it isn’t. Weirdo. So whilst this might be a bit hard to grade, it’s quite a lot of fun to watch. I mean, the scene where the ghost shark (which looks absolutely appalling, by the way) gets into a water cooler and leads to a guy getting ripped in half might even rival Ian Ziering and his chainsaw in “Sharknado”.

 

None of the actors are terribly good per se (and the usually hot Mackenzie Rosman looks pale and sickly here), but veteran Richard Moll is definitely the standout. Is he any good? No, but he is very loud and enjoyably hammy. If you think about the plot, it’s actually quite similar to the original “Nightmare on Elm Street”, except with a ghost shark. There’s even a bathtub scene here. Also, for any Aussie readers out there, don’t you think that given the ghost shark’s preferred method of attack resembles a football tackle, it could play Second Row for Cronulla? Fun times.

 

Honestly, if they had gone the “Piranha 3D” route and added a healthy dose of sleaze, this could’ve had a chance of being ‘cheesy fun’ instead of ‘bad movie’ fun (Yes, there is a clear difference between cheesy and bad). As is, it dips its toes into the former category, and far moreso than “Sharknado” did, but never quite firmly planting its feet in that category. It does have an actor named Han Soto, though, and if that’s not the coolest name for an actor, I dunno what is.

 

Look, this isn’t a good film, it’s also too self-aware to be a terrible one, and in fact, it sometimes comes across as a fun B-movie. Most importantly, though, it’s really watchable, whatever category you try to slot it in, and that definitely puts it ahead of “Sharknado”. Make of that whatever you will, in terms of a recommendation. My head hurts just thinking about such matters. The screenplay by Paul A. Birkett (“Arachnoquake”, “Alien Tornado”) is from a story by Furst and Eric Forsberg (“Mega Piranha”, “Arachnoquake”, “Snakes on a Train”).

 

Rating: F (for fun?)