Review: A Christmas Story

Set somewhere in the 1940s, Peter Billingsley is young Ralphie, whose only wish for Christmas is for Santa to get him a Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle. Yes, a BB gun that will surely put his eye out. But Ralphie is nine, and nine year-olds don’t care about stuff like health and safety and good vision. He drops various hints to anyone he can, be it his mother (Melinda Dillon) who is indeed concerned Ralphie will put his eye out, his hard-working father (Darren McGavin), and even his school teacher. Meanwhile, we are witness to typical tropes of being a kid like swearing in earshot of your parents, despicable school bullies (Zack Ward’s thoroughly obnoxious Scut Farkas. Yes, Scut Farkas) and double dog dares that seemed like a good idea at the time until someone (Scott Schwartz, take a bow) gets their tongue frozen to a pole in the middle of winter. Will little Ralphie get his prized Red Ryder BB gun come December 25^th? You’ll have to watch and see for yourself.

 

Aside from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, my usual Christmastime viewing habits have undergone a bit of a change in recent years. “Muppet Christmas Carol” and “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” haven’t been played in a while, so one of the films I caught this time around (along with “Rise of the Guardians” and another viewing of “It’s a Wonderful Life”) was this irreverent Bob Clark Yuletide comedy from 1983. Based on a collection of stories by Jean Shepherd (who actually narrates the film), it’s OK and has some fun moments but...I think I might’ve left it a bit late in life to have picked up this one. It’d be like never having grown up with the Rankin/Bass stop-motion classics and trying to watch “Rudolph” for the first time as an adult, I guess. And to be honest, I’d rather go to the unnerving “Black Christmas” for my Bob Clark Christmas Classic (Clark was able to make this personal project due to the success of “Porky’s”, by the way, which is hilarious. The fact, not “Porky’s” itself, which is mediocre).

 

Peter Billingsley is absolutely adorable in the lead role of the nerdy Dennis The Menace, but this kind of narrated nostalgia thing always pales in comparison for me to “The Wonder Years”, my favourite TV show of all-time (And no doubt that show was influenced by this film). Some of the observations are funny such as Ralphie becoming a ‘connoisseur of soap’, whilst others are not so amusing. I mean, what’s wrong with a C+, Ralphie? I would’ve been perfectly happy with a C+ at your age, or even in high school. The still-active Zack Ward is the perfect snotty school bully too, and the bit where poor Scott Schwartz gets his tongue frozen stuck on a pole is a movie classic. Message to children, dumb arses and dumb arse children: Do not under ANY circumstances stick ANY part of your body to ANYTHING during winter. Especially when it’s a dare. Kinda ironic that Mr. Schwartz should end up doing the odd porno later in life, though. Darren McGavin is pretty good as the long-suffering dad, his almost pitying expression to Ralphie’s ghastly Christmas present from Aunt Clara is particularly priceless.

 

The film won’t be too hard for children of today to relate to, even if we no longer have decoder pins (Based on fact, too), BB guns, cowboy heroes etc. Adults will certainly still relate to the film’s critique of shameless advertising with the events of the latter stages of the film. The idea of a kid wanting a gun for Christmas would make it awfully hard to get this film made today, I must say. The racist Chinese caricatures would certainly never cut it today, and were frankly on the nose to me. That’s a shame. But the crux of it, is a timeless Christmas story, and what I really liked about it was that it was irreverent but still embracing the Christmas spirit (So long as you accept that Christmas is about commercialism and family). There’s a slight naughtiness to it that I liked too, even if the big swear word is only alluded to on screen. It’s certainly not a sugary sweet film. It certainly ain’t no Charlie Brown. I just wish it were a better film.

 

I don’t think it’ll become an annual Yuletide viewing ritual for me, I’m afraid, but it’s not bad. You certainly can’t hate a Christmas movie where the kid lies and gets away with it. The screenplay is by Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown (Shepherd’s wife), and director Clark.

 

Rating: C+