Review: Risky Business

In addition to the usual scholastic pressures of being a high-school senior, relatively affluent teen Tom Cruise finds himself in way over his head when his parents (dad played by Nicholas Pryor) leave him home alone for a few days. This is because Cruise, egged on by his wannabe sophisticate pal (Curtis Armstrong) decides to hire a hooker (Rebecca DeMornay). Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the cash on hand to pay, and when he returns from the bank, the hooker is gone and so is some of his parents valuable personal property. So he goes out in search of her, and before you know it, he’s basically running a prostitution service out of his parents’ house. DeMornay’s pimp, played by Joe Pantoliano is very unhappy to hear about this, but Cruise’s friends (who also include Bronson Pinchot) think it’s awesome. Meanwhile, as business commands much of his attention, his grades suffer. Richard Masur turns up as a recruiter from Princeton who comes to visit at a most inopportune time.

 

This 1983 teen sex comedy from writer-director Paul Brickman (“Men Don’t Leave”, a drama with Christine Lahti) is usually regarded as the pinnacle of the subgenre. I disagree because a) It’s so unfunny that I question whether it even is a comedy. It’s certainly no “Revenge of the Nerds” in my book, that’s for damn sure. And b) The film fails to get the comedy/realism balance right that the underrated “Last American Virgin” was far more successful at (as was “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” to an extent). Even the overrated “Say Anything” at least got the laughs, even if it failed on the drama. This is seriously ordinary stuff as either comedy or drama.

 

The mediocrity even extends to the irritating and monotonous 80s score by electronic outfit Tangerine Dream (“The Keep”, “Near Dark”, “Three O’Clock High”). Is the iconic scene of Cruise dancing to Bob Seger scene good fun? Of course, it’s the rest of the film I have a problem with. In fact, the entire soundtrack is good: Springsteen, Seger, Phil Collins, etc, so it’s a shame Tangerine Dream are all over the film. I especially have a problem with the central premise. I simply didn’t believe that this particular kid would and could trash his final year of high school and his whole potential future in such a short space of time and so spectacularly. I also don’t believe that any recruiter from Princeton would visit a prospective student at night. Truth kinda needs to be believable, strange as that concept might seem to Mr. Brickman. If the film is trying to be real and poignant, it jumps the shark early and keeps on jumping. Frankly, I would’ve vetoed the drama and tried for wholesale comedy instead.

 

I guess the chief selling point is supposed to be that Rebecca DeMornay gets naked a lot. I like nudity, but I don’t find Rebecca DeMornay attractive. She ain’t no Jennifer Connelly (circa 1990 or so) or Phoebe Cates (circa 1982) that’s for damn sure. It’s especially hard to accept Tom Cruise as the guy who can’t get a date (Mind you, there are those rumours ifyaknowwhatImeanandIthinkyado). Cast Curtis Armstrong in the role instead of the sidekick, and you’re closer to the mark, but then who would want to watch Booger from “Revenge of the Nerds” bone Rebecca DeMornay? Armstrong and future “Perfect Strangers” co-star Bronson Pinchot (sounding alarmingly normal) are actually well-cast in their roles, but not funny. There’s no comedy at all here (Case in point? Joey Pants is perfectly cast as a scummy pimp...to the point where there’s no humour involved. His rug does look more fake than ever, though). It’s a teen drama mixed with teen fantasy, and even then it’s only occasionally insightful and not particularly entertaining. Even the ‘wreck the parental car’ scene was later done far superior in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (Though here it at least gives us the film’s best line ‘Who’s the U-boat commander?’).

 

Nope, this one’s overrated. Even the ending (studio-imposed apparently) is a clunker because it overlooks a whole lotta stuff, like the $500 a certain person still owes by the end of the film. This one tries to straddle the line between comedy and reality, and it fails on both counts. But hey, everyone else on the planet thinks it’s a masterpiece. If you love it, good for you. I was bored. 

 

Rating: C