Review: I Love You to Death

Italian immigrant and shameless lothario Kevin Kline has been caught out by his previously naive, Yugoslavian-American wife (Tracey Ullman). The solution? Murder him. This, however, proves surprisingly difficult, especially when the two hitmen hired named Harlan and Marlon (played by Keanu Reeves and William Hurt) are zonked-out morons of the highest (lowest?) order. River Phoenix plays Ullman’s co-worker at the local pizzeria who is not terribly shy about his romantic inclinations towards Ullman, and gets caught up in the whole caper. Miriam Margolyes is Kline’s mother, James Gammon is a detective, Heather Graham plays one of Kline’s conquests, as does Phoebe Cates in an uncredited appearance.

 

Directed by Lawrence Kasdan (“The Big Chill”, “Silverado”, “Grand Canyon”) and scripted by John Kostmayer (who had written episodes of “Simon & Simon” and “Sidekicks”), this 1990 film might just be the most likeable black comedy about the attempted murder of a shameless douchebag philanderer you’ll ever see. Keanu Reeves (who lost a fight with some hair clippers it would appear) and especially William Hurt are a hoot playing a couple of idiot, zonked out would-be killers. I’m not sure what planet Hurt (whom I’m normally allergic to, by the way) was on during this film, but I’m guessing it wasn’t a planet full of oxygen.

 

However, this is versatile Kevin Kline’s showcase here. Even when his character is practically a walking corpse, he still managed to be funny. Perfectly cast, in anyone else’s hands this role would be thoroughly repulsive. But Kline makes this sleazebag oddly charming and ingratiating. He has a very funny first scene confessing all his sins to a priest. Of course, that doesn’t make him stop sinning. He sports a ridiculous tan to play a seriously ridiculous human being.

 

I’ll never be accused of being the biggest advocate of the late River Phoenix, but it’s undeniable he had talent, charisma, and a world of promise. It is a tragedy that we lost him. It’s also rather unsettling to see him adopt a disguise for a scene here that includes a Fu Manchu moustache, black-rim glasses, and a hat, making him look almost exactly like the guy whose nightclub he died in. Tell me I’m wrong, people. It’s not the most interesting role he plays here, but Phoenix probably enjoyed the opportunity to show a different side to himself. In fact, the only one who fails to impress here is rather surprising- the film’s veteran, Joan Plowright who plays the Italian grandmother stereotype to the hilt...except she’s meant to be Yugoslavian. Ah, they’re all the same, right Mr. Kasdan? Seriously, the woman barely stops short of shouting ‘You must EAT!’ in her every scene. It’s an unfunny, uninteresting and one-dimensional role (in a film that already has Kline pretty much speaking like a stereotypical Super Mario, granted) and sadly, the performance is uninteresting and one-dimensional too. Not Mrs. Olivier’s finest hour (As for Mr. Olivier, he sadly died while his wife was making this film), as she swings and misses for the most part. Kasdan is usually a terrific director of actors (if not much else), Plowright simply isn’t given much to work with.

 

British comedienne Tracey Ullman has never been my favourite going around, but she’s actually pretty well-cast as the scorned, frumpy wife. It’s not a terribly comedic role, though, which is odd when you think about it. Look for Mrs. Kline, the hottest woman on planet Earth in the early 80s, Phoebe Cates as one of Kline’s rendezvous. Damn you Kevin Kline for making her have babies and quit movies! Damn you to Hell! Heather Graham, meanwhile, has an early appearance here and I swear she looked almost exactly the same in 1990 as she does now. Incredible.

 

I guess you could argue that the film is a bit slow, but I didn’t find it boring, and the laughs are pretty consistent whenever Kline, Hurt, or Reeves are around. If you’re a Kevin Kline fan, you owe it to yourself to see this film (though every other review will state that he’s the weak link for some odd reason), it’s one of his best comedic showcases. Not all black comedies work, especially American ones, but this one delivers the laughs. Based on a real-life couple (!), too just in case you thought the ending (and Kline’s accent, apparently dead-on) was a Hollywood invention. 

 

Rating: B-