Review: Emmanuelle

Sylvia Kristel (who really ought to have been a Bond girl at some point) stars as the title character who ventures to Bangkok to be with her diplomat husband (Daniel Sarky). Said husband tells her she should be free to explore her sexuality with others with his blessing. Emmanuelle’s arrival sparks an interest in young Marie-Ange (Baby-faced Christine Boisson), who boldly masturbates in front of her, and Emmanuelle has a post-squash tryst with another woman (Jeanne Colletin). However, Emmanuelle seems more taken with archaeologist Bee (Marika Green), whom she runs off with for an adventure without informing her husband. When this ends rather unsatisfactorily for her, Emmanuelle decides to meet with Mario (Alain Cuny), an older man who has been wanting to show Emmanuelle new levels of sexual pleasure. 

 

A rite of passage for many a young hornbag, I’m afraid I hadn’t caught up with this landmark 1974 softcore flick from director Just Jaeckin (the uneven but crazy “Gwendoline”) until my 34^th year on this planet. Unfortunately, the passage of time and the proliferation of much harder and more explicit stuff has rendered this film rather ineffectual. It’s also just not a very good softcore film (yes, even with the infamous cigarette scene which is weird more than erotic), as its immediate and vastly superior sequel proved.

 

To be honest, Sylvia Kristel doesn’t float my boat in this film. Nice enough body, but the 12 year-old boy haircut just doesn’t do it for me. I also strongly reacted against the look director Jaeckin and cinematographer Robert Fraisse (“Wings of Courage”, “The Lover”) have given the film. It’s overly and distractingly arty, ruining the sex scenes by obscuring a lot of what is going on with bars and other props. It alerts your attention to the filmmaking, a big no-no in a film like this where the only important thing is the sex. The softcore film has more importance on story and character than its cousin the hardcore porn film, but let’s face facts, you’re still watching this film to ‘get off’ to some degree. This film isn’t very good at achieving that, at least not when viewed today. Sure, some of it is attractive, but a little of the style goes a long, long way. There’s a lot of nudity in the film, and some extremely beautiful bodies on display, which helps, but not quite enough.

 

I also found the male characters positively vile, when not completely boring. The husband is the biggest douchebag on the planet. He just wants guilt-free promiscuity, and doesn’t like it when his wife enjoys that lifestyle more than she enjoys him. He’s a pig, and further shows his douchebaggery by driving a sports car wholly inappropriate for Thailand. Mario, meanwhile, gives off geriatric pervert vibes from moment one, but for the most part is stupid and boring.

 

The film has some very bizarre things going on, sexually. Emmanuelle claims to be heterosexual, and has all these men chasing after her (and a husband), and yet she seems to prefer having sex with women. She’ll sleep with any willing woman, but seems reluctant with Mario and even her husband at times. Lady, you’re a lesbian. It’s almost like the women in this film are claiming to be hetero, but don’t realise that by sleeping with other women, they’re at least bisexual. Or to put it another way, Jaeckin and screenwriter Jean-Louis Richard (“Fahrenheit 451”, “The Bride Wore Black”) are blokes who are writing female characters for the consumption of a male audience with their dicks in their hands. The characters simply don’t convince, and if your film doesn’t work on the sex front, you better have one helluva screenplay/story. And this one doesn’t. Meanwhile, a Thai boxing match simply doesn’t belong in a softcore porn film. There’s way too much non-sex stuff here, and I’m not talking about plot or character development. Just useless, random stuff that pads things unnecessarily, and towards the end gets rather unpleasant and misogynistic.

 

Overrated, outdated, and disappointing. Massively disappointing. How can a film with girl-on-girl action be disappointing? Watch this film. Hell, Kristel’s even clothed for some of the sex scenes. In a softcore porno!

 

Rating: C+