Review: The Art of the Steal

Kurt Russell is Crunch Calhoun, an expert art thief whose team specialise in forging (Chris Diamantopoulos is their expert forger) seriously expensive paintings to the point where they pass all tests, and can sell them on the black market without their ‘marks’ realising they’ve been screwed. Unfortunately, after their latest gig goes bad, and his a-hole half-brother Nicky (Matt Dillon) rats everybody else out so that he can get off clean, Crunch ends up doing 7 years in a Polish prison. After this, Crunch goes legit and becomes a low-rent Evel Knieval-style stuntman, with young Jay Baruchel as his apprentice/gopher, and married to Kathryn Winnick’s Lola. And then out of nowhere, Nicky shows up with a ‘sure thing’. After trying to beat the shit out of his half-brother, and after his beloved bike gets stolen by some goons looking for Nicky, Crunch listens to Nicky’s latest plan about stealing an apparently rare book called The Gospel According to James, forging several copies to sell to select wealthy customers. He’s forever watching for the moment Nicky screws with him again, though. Meanwhile, an Interpol agent (Jason Jones) is on Crunch and Nicky’s trail, thinking they’ve got to be up to something. His associate is a veteran thief (Terence Stamp) forced by the government to help them nab art thieves. Kenneth Welsh plays another member of Crunch’s crew, a wily and randy Irishman named Uncle Paddy, who is the one who gets all the buyers.

 

I like a good heist film and I haven’t seen Kurt Russell in a while, so I figured this 2014 film from writer-director Jonathan Sobol (who was a ‘story consultant’ on the mediocre Ray Liotta film “Comeback Season”) would be a decent time-waster. Despite doing minimal box-office in the US (where it only had limited release) and going straight to DVD in Australia, it’s a bit better than a ‘decent time-waster’. It’s not one of the better heist films out there, but better than any of the “Ocean’s” films and solid, lightweight fun. Sure, it could’ve and should’ve been better, but it also could’ve gone horribly wrong. Remember “3000 Miles to Graceland”? It even has genuinely very funny outtakes, a rarity these days, as everyone appears to have had a ball here (Russell in particular).

 

You should probably see the big twist coming a mile away, but I have to confess it eluded me. I did notice some shonky projection work here and there, though. That and the “Ocean’s Eleven”-style (or if you prefer, “The Italian Job”-style) opening titles were really the only things that annoyed me here. That said, I do find it interesting that at a time when Kurt Russell reportedly refused a role in the “Expendables” franchise because he didn’t want to do ensemble work, here he is acting in an ensemble film. Oh, but it’s OK if he gets to be the lead? Yeah, thought so. Russell is well-cast here as a stunt-driver and getaway driver who also happens to be an expert art thief. He’s certainly more enjoyable here than in “3000 Miles to Graceland”, that’s for sure. No one plays ‘I’m already having a very bad day, what else could go wrong?’ better than Russell, I think. Matt Dillon seems to have failed to have capitalised on the accolades he received for “Crash” a few years back, so it’s a bit sad to see genuine talents like he and Russell in films that barely get a release. However, like Russell he gives 110% here and is perfectly cast as an untrustworthy bastard. You’ll want to punch him almost immediately. He’s such an hilarious dickweed that he pick-pockets a 9 year-old little girl! Who the fuck robs little girls? His jokes are absolutely awful in the film, but I think they’re meant to be. Jay Baruchel, meanwhile, does his Jay Baruchel thing, and gets one absolutely hilarious moment whilst trying to cross the border dressed as an Amish person. He’s supposedly an actor playing an Amish person in a play. Unfortunately, the fake beard is appalling and Baruchel has no ability whatsoever to lie convincingly under pressure, leading to the most random reference to “Predator 2” I’ve ever heard in my life. The film is stolen, however by a not very surprising Terence Stamp, and a very surprising Kenneth Welsh. Welsh has been a sturdy character actor since the 80s, but this is the biggest and best role I’ve actually seen him in. As a wily Irish con man, he’s jolly good fun, and his Irish accent is one of the best I’ve ever heard. Yes, even better than Mick Jagger in “Ned Kelly” (Just checking to see if you’re awake. Jagger’s accent was awful). Stamp doesn’t get much screen time, and frankly doesn’t have much of a character to play, but his deadpan delivery of dialogue here is one of the film’s best sources of comedy. I wasn’t much interested in his associate played by Jason Jones, but I kept hoping for more scenes with Stamp looking completely disdainful. He barely says or does anything and yet walks off with the film. What the hell? Canadian character actor Stephen McHattie is always good to see on screen, but unfortunately he makes a complete bollocks of a cockney accent. I guess he didn’t go to the same dialect coach as Welsh.

 

OK, so the film has a cast that suggests it should be a whole lot better, but if you like the stars and like this kind of film, it’s actually pretty entertaining stuff. It’s just good to see Kurt Russell on screen again, it feels like it’s been ages, and he delivers as always, as do the rest of the cast.

 

Rating: B-