Review: Alvin Purple

Graeme Blundell plays the title character, a likeable and not terribly bright sort, who seems to attract the attention of horny women everywhere. Employed as a door-to-door salesman of waterbeds, he finds himself practically raped by his customers. But none of this makes Alvin happy, so he seeks psychiatric help. Unfortunately, his shrink (Penne Hackforth-Jones) is sexually repressed herself, and her boss (George Whaley) ropes Alvin into ‘helping’ some of his sexually repressed patients, which essentially turns Alvin into a male prostitute, getting himself in trouble with the law. The one girl Alvin does have feelings for (Elli Maclure) is so horrified by his man-whoring that she runs away to become a nun. Lynette Curran and Jacki Weaver play a couple of the horny women who make advances of Alvin (the former being his neighbour), Christine Amor plays one of a throng of schoolgirls who pursue Alvin on the way home from school each day when he’s a teen, Abigail is a sexy young woman Alvin spies on the bus one day, and Carole Skinner (Perhaps Bea Smith’s toughest adversary in later seasons on TV’s “Prisoner”) plays a Mother Superior at the end.

 

Directed by Tim Burstall (The excellent “Last of the Knucklemen”) and written by actor Alan Hopgood (mostly known as an actor, he was Jack Lassiter on “Neighbours” and Wally on “Prisoner”) of all people, this 1973 Aussie ‘classic’ is like “Alfie” in reverse, with a dorkier lead and lots of T&A. There’s also elements of “The Graduate”, “Carry On”, “Benny Hill” and TV’s “Number 96” thrown in. The result actually isn’t a bad time-waster (It’s a Russ Meyer film with smaller tits), and certainly funnier than the awful TV series that followed. I’m not really into this snickering and knickers, “Carry On”-style comedy, but there’s some things to enjoy here. I mean, where else are you gonna see Lynette Curran and Jacki Weaver fully naked? (Curran looks sensational, by the way, but you’ll need the ‘Pause’ button for Weaver’s annoyingly staged scene) In a film featuring a title song sung by Brian Cadd, no less! And then there’s the late Penne Hackforth-Jones, future star of an infamous Sultana Bran TV commercial I grew up with. Here she’s cast as a sexually-repressed shrink who gets all in a huff when Alvin rejects her. Noel Ferrier, essentially the Aussie version of Robert Morley, is perfectly cast as a judge who enjoys hearing and seeing Alvin’s exploits a bit too much.

 

It’s a real time capsule this one (I mean, an Abigail appearance anyone?), and amusing enough on that level, though the second half does get bogged down a bit and a tad too serious, which is a shame. In fact, it pretty much stops dead after the trial ends. I also didn’t like the fact that the music score ripped off “Benny Hill” from time to time, that was so unnecessary. Yes this film is incredibly sexist…if you take it seriously, which would be stupid. Blundell is such nerdy and unconventional casting that it’s almost kind of a cute film. On its chosen level, it’s sort of fun, though with no Sapphic content and frankly not all that much sex of any kind, its appeal was limited for me. So far as trash goes, this one’s almost sweet. How many ‘tits and bum’ flicks can you say that about?

 

Rating: C+