Review: The Lego Movie

A blue collar Lego man named Emmett (voiced by Chris Pratt) gets mistaken for a ‘master builder’, and recruited to join the Fellowship…er…to join a group of other ‘master builders’ (Batman among them, I might add) to stop the evil President Business (voiced by Will Ferrell) from unleashing a deadly weapon called ‘The Kragle’. Or something like that. Morgan Freeman voices a Gandalf-rip off named Vitruvius, who babbles on about a prophecy and Emmett being the One. A bunch of pop culture figures and known superheroes turn up in Lego form throughout (Including a well-cast Jonah Hill voicing Green Lantern).

 

Surely the most disappointing and overrated film of 2014, this animated film based on the classic building block/playset toys wasn’t anywhere near as good as I had heard. Based on the good word of mouth I had heard from adults, I assumed this would be a family film, but no it’s kiddie fare. The difference being that family films have something for everyone, but this? I couldn’t see anything of merit or interest here for anyone over the age of 13 at best. It’s stupid, and almost entirely lacking in wit. While it was kinda cool to see “Star Wars” Lego, writer/directors Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”, “21 Jump Street”) fail to do anything remotely interesting or amusing with them (Batman was an unfunny douche too). I guess I was expecting something a little more subversive, sophisticated and ‘meta’ (“Wreck-It Ralph” or “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”), but the filmmakers even manage to botch a perfect chance at a “Clash of the Titans” joke. The whole film is clearly leading up to the cry of ‘Release the Kragle!’, and the film features Liam Neeson voicing one of the characters. So of course he’s not the one who gets to do the line. You’ve got to be kidding me. Why even bother with it then? Epic fail from Lord and Miller, who co-wrote the story with Dan and Kevin Hagerman.

 

I didn’t think much of the film’s late stage breaking of the fourth wall, either. It’s poorly integrated and to be honest, not very original anyway **** SPOILER ALERT **** And what architect uses Lego anyway It’s stupid, even for a kiddie movie. I rolled my eyes at that one. **** END SPOILER ****. But then, I’m the only person in existence who thought the conceit in “Toy Story 3” (Shouldn’t Andy have thrown away his toys before senior high school at the latest, not college?) was strange, not affecting, so don’t take my word for it.

 

I also think it’s a major missed opportunity to not film this in stop-motion with real Lego pieces (Ever seen Monty Python’s ‘Knights of the Round Table’ song done with Lego? It’s hilarious and clever), or at least some tangible facsimile (ala “Robot Chicken”). Yes, it’s a time-consuming process, but CGI seems cheating, pointless, and not nearly as creative to me. Others might find I’m nit-picking (and will likely bring up the wonderful “Toy Story”, to which I haven’t got a great reply admittedly), but it bothered me.

 

Instead of a big theatrically released family motion picture, this seemed like one of those straight-to-DVD ones the kids watch while you do housework, like those “Tinkerbell” movies that I swear I know nothing about (And indeed, there has been previous direct-to-DVD Lego films apparently). If it weren’t for the celebrity voices, I really don’t think this would’ve gotten a theatrical release or any attention whatsoever. It was cute to see the production company logos in Lego, but since it’s not real Lego (and obviously so), I was a bit underwhelmed right away. It only got worse. ‘Everything is Awesome’ is nauseating and only partly intentionally. It’s without question the worst Oscar nominated song since ‘The Morning After’ from “The Poseidon Adventure” (which even won!). It borders on Crazy Frog meets dubstep, ear-bleeding, excruciating pain. The horror. The horror!

 

It’s (superficially) colourful to look at I guess, I also kinda liked that it took place in various Lego ‘realms’ that are actually Lego sets/worlds. There’s also an amusing gag making fun of the generic faces of Lego figures. I also found the difference between Michelangelo and Michelangelo to be funny (Yes, it’s exactly what you think), but the confusion between Dumbledore and Gandalf was just wrong. They’re nothing alike so why would such confusion be funny? Only to stupid people who think all fantasy novels are the same or that “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” are the same thing. Other than that, everything is overrated I’m afraid. Couldn’t the screenwriters have come up with better names than Bad Cop and President Business? The Piece of Resistance? Ugh (Middle Zealand was almost clever, though). And don’t even get me started on the dorky ‘Wildstyle’ name. Yes, I know how the film turns out and whose POV it is meant to be from, but I think it’s insultingly simplistic and dorky nonetheless.

 

The rather lame quest/prophecy-propelled plot was so tedious I had to force myself to stare at the screen and keep watching. This might be even more facile and pointless than “Turbo”, and that turkey was about a tiny snail who became a NASCAR sensation watched by huge crowds who even with the big screen probably couldn’t have spotted him on the racetrack. Bright and colourful, and the kids might like it, but whatever it was that adult filmgoers and critics got out of this thing has eluded me entirely. Playing with Lego yourself is more fun and rewarding than this stupid, stupid film (I almost wish I had some right now, no kidding). I’m sorry, I know it was a bit of a cultural phenomenon, but I honestly can’t work out why. I’m not calling you stupid for liking it, there seems to be much more of you than there are of me, so this one’s on me I guess. I don’t care about the egregious product placement as some others seem to (Look at the title, geniuses!), however this is anything but awesome, unless you’ve got ADHD (It’s a seriously hyperactive sugar rush of a film, but without the taste). Oh and one more very important thing: The plural of Lego is Lego, not Legos or Lego’s or Legos’. Yes, I am a grammar Nazi.

 

Rating: D