Review: Endless Love (2014)

Working class kid David (Alex Pettyfer) has just graduated high school, but will probably continue helping out his widowed, hard-working mechanic dad (a surprisingly well-meaning Robert Patrick) at the garage. Gabriella Wilde is Jade, another graduate, who comes from a wealthy family, but feels she never really connected with any of her classmates. She took it particularly hard when her beloved brother died from cancer a while back. David has always had a crush on Jade, but kept it to himself. Hell, they’ve never even spoken to one another. The two get to finally meet one night when David and his ebullient best friend Mace (Dayo Okeniyi) are working as valets, and before long, she’s inviting him to attend the party her parents are letting her throw for her classmates that she never got to know. Unfortunately, David and Mace are among the precious few teens who attend, but things get interesting when David and Jade find themselves in a closet together. From there a passionate teen romance is born, much to the concern of Jade’s overprotective, slightly snobby father (Bruce Greenwood), who has big plans for his daughter’s future (i.e. career), and sees David as a stumbling block in the way of all that. But Jade won’t give David up for anything, as she’s having fun for the first time in…maybe ever. Joely Richardson plays Jade’s more supportive mother, and Rhys Wakefield plays Jade’s still-living brother.

 

Based (apparently very loosely) on a book by Scott Spencer, the 1981 “Endless Love” was a shockingly miscalculated, quite badly acted film from the usually reliable Franco Zeffirelli. Although Shirley Knight struggled valiantly with one of the worst-written characters I’ve ever come across, the only memorable thing about the damn film was the timeless Diana Ross-Lionel Ritchie title song. This 2014 remake from director Shana Feste (whose “The Greatest” was OK) and co-writer Joshua Safran isn’t nearly as miscalculated as the earlier film (but apparently only slightly more faithful to the text), aside from the bizarre decision not to include the title song. Seriously? No Bieber-Miley twerkin’ redux? I’m shocked (Oh alright, what about say, John Legend and Alicia Keys then? That’d be the 2014 equivalent of Ritchie-Ross, right?). It’s problem is that it plays it all far too safe, far too bland, and it all adds up to…bubble wrap. Scratch that, bubble wrap is somehow addictive, the comparison is unwarranted. I love bubble wrap and so do you. No, this is just kinda…there. The earlier film was terrible and went complete cuckoo, practically into psycho-stalker/arsonist territory, but by removing a lot of that stuff, Feste and Safran have simply given us yet another bland ‘teen lovers kept apart by non-understanding adults’ story. Yawn, been there, done that. The ‘It’s not over!’ scene was played for histrionics last time (Martin Hewitt was the drizzling shits), but is done flatly here, and there’s no real hint of psychodrama this time out…just lots of vanilla.

 

Gabriella Wilde is extremely pretty (unquestionably prettier than Brooke Shields, and a better actress too), Robert Patrick is perfectly cast as the working class dad (in the film’s best performance by far), and former Aussie soap star Rhys Wakefield acquits himself quite decently in a rather unnecessary part. However, about the only thing I genuinely liked about this film is the way the character of Wilde’s mother (The Shirley Knight role, here played by Joely Richardson) was written. Last time out, it was an embarrassing role where Knight had to get all hot and horny as the bored housewife who kinda sorta wanted to jump her daughter’s boyfriend’s bones. Or something. I never quite worked that one out. Thankfully, Feste and Safran have changed things so that she’s…well, the role is practically perfunctory now, but can we all just agree that it’s the lesser of two evils? Other than that, I really don’t have a whole lot of nice things to say here. Sure, it’s preferable to the overpitched original, but it doesn’t leave you with much of interest to watch as an alternative, unless you’re firmly entrenched in Gen-Y and you haven’t heard of “Romeo and Juliet”.

 

I must say my bullshit detector went off pretty early in this, with Wilde supposedly being a beautiful rich girl who was so sheltered that she never got to know anyone at her school. That is to say, it’s exaggerated beyond belief (Same issue I had with Ione Skye in the overrated “Say Anything…”, actually). I also had serious problems with the character of Mace and the performance by Dayo Okeniyi. Okeniyi overdoes the flippant black best friend thing to the point that I thought I was watching “Not Another Teen Movie” for a second. We get it, you’re a horrible cultural stereotype, the outdated comedy relief African-American best friend. He was borderline Stepin Fetchit (Google him, kids), and a constant irritation. And that’s not even including the scene where he and the only other African-American person in the film are conveniently paired off in a dance competition and do a routine to…Salt-N-Pepa’s ‘Push It’. In 2014. All black people in 2014 have that as their jam don’t they? They get jiggy to a song from the mid-to-late 80s, right? It seemed borderline racist to me, or hopelessly out of touch at least (Just like a wannabe-paid film critic who still uses ‘jiggy’, probably incorrectly too). And then he later talks about getting high, and is pretty much responsible for getting everyone arrested. Yeah. That actually happens here. He is, by the way, essentially the character a young (and awful) Tom Cruise played in the original, only ten times more culturally awkward.

 

The character of Wilde’s father, played as well as possible by Bruce Greenwood starts out really well-written. He seems like a decent man and loving father whose objections to this relationship are predominantly to do with concerns for his daughter’s future. You can see his POV, even if you don’t entirely agree with it. This is a crucial time in his daughter’s life and he doesn’t want anything getting in the way (He has also lost his Golden Child, and is probably scared of losing another child). Unfortunately, about the midway point, the character undergoes a practically psychotic, black-hatted change that sabotages the character entirely. Hell, it’s the closest the film gets to the psychodrama of the original…but with the wrong damn character. **** SPOILER WARNING **** The screenwriters have awkwardly and unconvincingly turned him into a philanderer. It’s not believable and the character only gets worse the longer the film goes on. He’s pretty much the true villain here. In the original, it’s the protagonist who commits arson having been driven crazy by his love for the girl and being kept apart from her. Here it’s an accident caused by Greenwood’s character who has gone pretty much nuts…until he’s ultimately, and unconvincingly, redeemed by the protagonist. Ugh. **** END SPOILER ****

 

By far the biggest stumbling block the film has is leading man Alex Pettyfer. Sure, he’s a bit more competent than Martin Hewitt in the original, but he’s boring and wooden, not showing anywhere near enough passion, let alone obsessive love. Yes, this is a sanitised, less obsessive take on the story, but Pettyfer is still dreadfully uninteresting. And looks about 33 years-old to boot (That they are both in their 20s and Wilde is the older of the two doesn’t matter. He looks a year or two shy of my age, and I’m old!). Wakefield acts him off the screen, despite having a dud role.

 

Finally, a note about the film’s approach to sex and nudity. The original fireplace scene wasn’t exactly “9 ½ Weeks” for teens, but here it is obvious that they are trying to show these youngsters naked without actually showing nudity. It’s calculated to the point where it’s all you can focus on. Sure, Feste pushes that PG-13 rating rather far compared to many other films of late with that rating (M-rated here in Australia, though), but it merely alerts you to the fact that they’re too scared (or the producers were) to push things to the point of a more adult rating, losing their target profit…er…audience.

 

Everything about this remake is subtler than the original. Some of that is admirable, some not. It’s a bland film that would be nothing without Wilde’s beauty and the sturdy presence of Robert Patrick. It’s a better film, remarkably for being bland, but it’s that same blandness that also makes it entirely skippable. It’s not a good film, but a superior remake of a shit film. There’s your sound-bite right there.

 

Rating: C