Review: 47 Ronin

Keanu Reeves plays Kai, who has grown up among samurai, despite not actually being one of them, and knowing that he will never be fully accepted. When an evil rival lord (Tadanobu Asano, the piercing and pain-obsessed star of “Ichi the Killer”) and his witch cohort (Rinko Kikuchi) use sorcery to cause Lord Asano (Min Tanaka) to attack the rival lord, Lord Asano is publically disgraced and forced by the Shogun (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) to commit seppuku (ritualistic suicide). Lord Asano’s samurai are subsequently stripped of their honour and title, now deemed to be Ronin, or samurai without a master. When the rival lord orders Asano’s lovely daughter Mika (Ko Shibasaki) to marry him, Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada) decides to band his former samurai brethren together to seek revenge on their enemy for the death of their master. This despite being warned by The Shogun not to do so. He asks Kai (who has been sold into slavery in what looks like a Feudal Japan version of Thunderdome) to be an integral part of this plan. Kai and Oishi, by the way, are both in love with Mika, and Mika with Kai, though theirs is a love that shall never be. Or something. Clyde Kusatsu turns up briefly as a drunk, whilst Gedde Watanabe also has a small role.

 

This movie was supposed to be terrible. That it isn’t, and is in fact kinda watchable, will have me in therapy for years, believe me. This supernaturally-tinged 2013 samurai flick from debut director Carl Rinsch isn’t exactly good (and presumably nothing like any of the six previous versions of the story, one directed by Kenji Mizoguchi), and the CGI elements are completely unnecessary, but this is an OK, workman-like job. It certainly doesn’t show evidence of the rumoured studio interference impacting the film negatively (It was shot in 2011!), nor does former commercials director Rinsch disgrace himself at the helm. It’s also a very pretty film, it has to be said, and the music score by Ilan Eshkeri (“Stardust”) is decent, too.

 

Keanu Reeves, though unmemorable, isn’t the laughing stock you’re likely expecting. Likewise, the battle/action sequences aren’t splendiferous, but they are at least classically shot by cinematographer John Mathieson (“Gladiator”, “Hannibal”, “Brighton Rock”), instead of shaking everything to buggery. Stoic Hiroyuki Sanada might not be the most expressive actor in the world, but he’s bloody perfect here. You wish the film were more about him, though to be fair, Reeves’ character isn’t as central as I was expecting, either. Of the rest, the casting of Long Duk Dong (AKA actor Gedde Watanabe) was a tad distracting for me, but the only weak link is Rinko Kikuchi as the evil witch/sorceress. She’s not terrible, but sounds like she’s learnt her lines phonetically. I liked her Medusa-like hair, however.

 

I don’t know who the person doing the opening narration is, but they half-arse it, and it tells us stuff we’ve already been shown anyway. What the hell? Credit where it’s due, the ending is ballsy for a Hollywood film, too. It’s a lumpy film (It’s probably a subject best handled by the Japanese themselves) and not a terribly good one, but it’s tolerable and I promise you that it’s better than you’re expecting. Is that a recommendation? Nope, but it’s a lot more positive than I was expecting to be. How the hell did this not suck? The screenplay is by Chris Morgan (“Cellular”, “Wanted”, “Fast Five”) and Hossein Amini (“Drive”, “Snow White and the Huntsman”), from a story by Walter Hamada (executive producer of “The Conjuring”) and Morgan.

 

Rating: C+