Review: RoboCop (2014)

Set in 2028, a big corporate conglomerate named OmniCorp is the leader in robot technology, headed by CEO Raymond Sellars (Michael Keaton). Their drones are used in military conflicts, but facing serious backlash, Sellars decides a change or tweaking of the technology is required. Sellars comes up with the idea of an advancement to their current technology and introduce a physical human element to the currently used robot technology. Meanwhile, Detroit cop and family man Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) is critically injured via a car bomb planted by the local gangster (named Vallon here, but essentially a substitute for Clarence Boddicker). After consulting scientist Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman), Sellars arranges for Murphy to be the guinea pig for his latest project. Ergo the birth of RoboCop, a human brain and other assorted organs inside a metallic robot body. Sellars thinks he has found the perfect creation, but the thing is, there’s still parts of a human being inside that machine, and no matter what he and his somewhat reluctant mad scientist Norton (who questions things, but also wants his work to remain funded) try to do, humanity, it seems, can’t be entirely denied. Jennifer Ehle and Jay Baruchel play Sellars’ assistant and OmniCorp PR guy respectively, Abbie Cornish and Michael K. Williams are Murphy’s loving wife and partner/best friend, Jackie Earle Haley is an OminCorp combat specialist who resents having to train RoboCop, and Marianne Jean-Baptiste is the Detroit police chief. Samuel L. Jackson appears periodically as a loudmouth Bill O’Reilly-esque (but slicker in presentation) political TV host, who seems to be offering up pro-OmniCorp propaganda under the guise of ‘fair and balanced’ news/political discussion.

 

The original 1987 “RoboCop” still stands pretty tall in the action genre, even though it was very much a product of the 1980s. Re-making a very violent, very ‘Paul Verhoeven’ film of the 1980s in 2014, an era where it’s all about the dollar and cutting things down to a classification rating that encompasses the biggest audience possible, seemed like a really bad idea to me. This isn’t the first time we’ve been given a toothless, relatively bloodless “RoboCop”, as “RoboCop 3” was pretty mild, and I believe there was also a TV series at some point. But I still dreaded the thought of any kind of remake that stripped “RoboCop” of everything Verhoeven’s black heart gave it. It’s iconic, and very much connected to Verhoeven’s ultra-violent, dark comedic sensibilities. Having now seen this remake from Brazillian director José Padilha (“Elite Squad”, and also a lot of documentary work back home) and first-time screenwriter Joshua Zetumer (whose screenplay was allegedly entirely re-written by Nick Schenk and James Vanderbilt among others. Weird that Zetumer is still the sole credited writer), all the problems I expected to be present are indeed present. However, I will say that this isn’t the total write-off that I was expecting. It’s just not “RoboCop” as “RoboCop” should be, and if it ain’t broke, why bother making another one? Well, we all know why, don’t we? Cash. Money. You might buy this one for a dollar, but I really think you’re better off sticking with the original.

 

At least the film starts off well, with Samuel L. Jackson pretty much playing Bill O’Reilly with his ‘Novak Element’ political spin show. It’s actually really scary, and clearly modelled on the ‘Do You Want to Know More?’ ads from Verhoeven’s “Starship Troopers”, as well as having its roots in the portrayal of the media in the 1987 “RoboCop”. It’s not a great role for Jackson, but he plays it well nonetheless and has a truly awesome hairpiece (Not terribly outlandish, mind you, just awesome). He’s probably one of the highlights of the film, even if this is a million miles from “Jungle Fever” or even “Black Snake Moan”. It’s also probably the most well-written and pointed parody of O’Reilly and jibe at Fox News I’ve seen. He’s not as belligerent and rude, but he certainly uses some of the standard tactics of Fox News. It’s quite clever without overdoing it to the point where it’s unfair to its target. I’m not sure if Jackson’s censored use of his favourite swear word was a nod to O’Reilly’s famous ‘Fuck it! We’re doin’ it live!’ rant but I’d love to think so. I also thought it was quite ballsy to take the ED209 robots into the Middle East. It’s an interesting idea and a little more audacious and controversial than I was expecting. So the film doesn’t entirely foul up the dark political satire/criticism from the 87 film, it simply tries to update it to the ‘drones’ and cable news era.

 

Also early on, composer Pedro Bromfman gives us a burst of the old Basil Poledouris “RoboCop” theme that, although not a patch on Poledouris, it’s still one of my favourite movie themes, so I didn’t care. It warmed my heart (It’s a shame that the score overall is mediocre and unmemorable). I also appreciated that they showed us why and how they go from using machines to using human-machine hybrids. It’s not as much splat-tastic fun as watching ED209 blasting away at a bunch of execs, but it’s still interesting.

 

But then we’re introduced to our new Murphy/RoboCop, and I’m sorry, but Joel Kinnaman ain’t no Peter Weller. He’s completely boring, nondescript, and absolutely fails epically with the voice. I mean, Peter Weller’s deep voice…no substitute, I’m afraid (Michael Shannon might’ve done better, though. Perhaps he was a too expensive option). This guy’s a limp impostor and he gives a completely half-arsed performance that just isn’t acceptable. The ED209’s sound more like RoboCop than Kinnaman does! You have to wait 100 minutes to hear the immortal ‘Dead or Alive. You’re coming with me’ line, but when it does come, it’s Kinnaman’s best moment because he shows he still has some of his humanity in there. Congrats, it only took you almost the whole damn movie. I also have to say, PG-13 approach or not, having Murphy merely get blown up in a car instead of the much-loved (in a sicko way) massacre from the 1987 original is not only insanely implausible that he survives it, but it’s a lame, toothless, and obvious neutering. It’s a change entirely motivated by the almighty dollar (I have read that both star and director wanted an R-rating in the US, but a ballooning budget gave them no ‘hand’ with the producers).

 

Although our own Abbie Cornish looks hotter than ever, and probably gives one of her better performances, it’s not enough to make one of this remake’s biggest changes work. Unlike last time, the film isn’t about Alex Murphy rediscovering who he was before he was turned into RoboCop. At least, not at first. His wife is entirely aware of what has gone on, and I think that’s a shame because it robs the film of some heart, to an otherwise cold, dark experience. Cornish tries really, really hard, but it doesn’t work as well done this way, especially with a black hole for a leading man. Unfortunately, it gets even worse because halfway through the film, Murphy loses his damn memory. Why bother doing it like that? It just doesn’t work, and left me nonplussed. I liked seeing Murphy’s memories as he slowly comes to, after surgery. It was nicely done. There’s also a great bit where we see everything stripped away to just Murphy’s head, brain, and a few organs. That was a really cool visual.

 

One of the more interesting things about the film (at least on paper) is some of the unconventional casting, with Michael Keaton (AKA “Batman”, AKA The Best “Batman”) as the villain, the generally unsympathetic Zach Grenier as an anti-robot politician, and Gary Oldman as a conflicted, but generally well-meaning (if at times self-preservationist) scientist. But paper and actuality are two different things, I’m afraid. It’s a shame Oldman typically phones it in, because his unconventional casting in such a role is rather interesting in theory and could’ve really worked well if he had bothered to put any effort in. Michael Keaton, meanwhile is thoroughly and depressingly disappointing. One of my favourite actors since the 80s, and usually a pretty dynamic presence on screen, but he’s always been surprisingly ineffective as a villain in films for some reason (“Beetlejuice” hardly counts, in case you’re wondering. Tim Burton would consider him a loveable goofball). “Pacific Heights”? Boring. That Andy Garcia thriller where Keaton was a psycho killer? Yawn. In addition to playing a guy responsible for changing the colour of RoboCop’s already awesome silver armour to an indistinct black (a decision made entirely because…the director can), Keaton phones this one in even more than Oldman. At least the idea of casting Oldman in his role is interesting and somewhat effective, despite Oldman’s lack of commitment in his performance. It was nice to see him play a relatively decent human being, and he’s certainly better here than he was in the “Dark Knight” trilogy at least. Keaton is entirely wasted in such a flat, uninteresting corporate villain role. Why is he even in this? He gives zero effort whatsoever, completely flat. He does, however get more to do than this film’s nondescript substitute for Clarence Boddicker, who is not only forgettable, but the filmmakers seem to forget about him for great stretches. Wow. The original had such great villains in Ronny Cox, Dan O’Herlihy, Miguel Ferrer, and Kurtwood Smith’s Richard Widmark-esque Boddicker, but this one largely misses out, with Jay Baruchel hardly getting anything to work with. The one standout is a terrific Jackie Earle Haley, who easily walks off with the film as an antagonistic and cynical combat specialist. At one point he even gives us a new slant on one of the famous catch phrases of the original (Hint: I’ve already referenced it myself). Michael K. Williams is pretty good as Nancy Allen (Thank you, I’m here all week), but underused, as is Marianne Jean-Baptiste as the now female police chief (played in the original by the awesome Robert DoQui).

 

Not a terrible film, there’s some interesting ideas at play here and the first half shows promise. But it’s undeniably vastly inferior, unnecessary, and bloodless. Lots of violence, but strangely no blood. And we never even go back to Tehran! Why drop the Middle East stuff after a while? Weird. You don’t need to have seen the original to see that this remake just isn’t very good. It starts well, but you’ll end up underwhelmed. Brilliant use of ‘I Fought the Law’ over the end credits, though. I’ll give the film that. 

 

Rating: C+