Review: 300: Rise of an Empire

Whilst King Leonidas is off battling the Persians with his 300 men, Themistocles (Sullivan Stapelton) and his own Greek army take to the seas to battle Persian ruler Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and his fierce navy general Artemisia (Eva Green) on a different front. Lena Headey, David Wenham, and Andrew Tiernan reprise their roles as Queen Gorgo, Dilios, and treacherous hunch-backed Ephialtes, respectively. Aussie Callan Murphy and “Spartacus” TV actor Peter Mensah also have roles.

I wasn’t overly fussed with the first “300” from director Zack Snyder (whose “Watchmen” and “Man of Steel” I enjoyed immensely), it was all artifice. Wonderful artifice, but completely hollow. As someone who loves the way Hollywood used to make historical epics, it just wasn’t my bag. Now comes this 2014 film with some events running concurrently with the first film. Co-written by Snyder along with Kurt Johnstad (“300”, “Act of Valour”), but directed by Noam Murro (a music video graduate), it’s based on the graphic novel Xerxes by Frank Miller (“300”, “Sin City”), though apparently in-name only.

For me, this was like a half-step up from TV’s “Spartacus” franchise, and that’s fine if you like this sort of hyperreal kind of thing. I’m not even sure if it’s a better or worse film than the first film, but because you can get this sort of thing on TV now, I felt like it was a much worse experience than the first film. Frankly, I found it bloody boring, with Aussie actor Sullivan Stapleton making zero impression whatsoever in the lead. He doesn’t even ham it up like Gerard Butler in the first film, he’s dull and uncharismatic, and no better at handling this kind of dialogue than anyone from the “Spartacus” shows. Lena Headey at one point talks about stroking cocks, and whilst no mention of Jupiter is made, it’s still far too reminiscent of “Spartacus”, though at least Headey manages to handle this sort of dialogue relatively well. She’s been better though, as has Eva Green in the film’s sole semi-interesting performance. She’s better than anyone on the “Spartacus” TV shows, that’s for sure. She was better in “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, though. And more naked. Green has the greatest breastplate of all-time here, I have to say. I can see what they were going for in the sex scene between Green and Stapleton, but once again, it’s nothing you can’t get on “Spartacus”.

The only real positives this time out for me are that there’s a bit more colour to the film’s stylised palette, and the music score by Junkie XL is thankfully far more traditional than the annoying, anachronistic rock score of the original. Some of the gory imagery is undeniably awesome, but because a lot of it looks so artificial, you’re not drawn in. The quality of the acting and screenwriting does not help, either.

Because this is the kind of stuff one can now get on TV, because it was already done in “300”, and because it’s not how I like my historical epics to be done, I felt this was entirely irrelevant and useless. I mean, we even get “Spartacus” mainstay Peter Mensah in a small role for chrissakes. Because this is meant to be a film and not a TV show, it’s even more disappointing. Good music score, though, and the best thing in the entire film is Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’ playing over the end credits (though it’s far from my favourite Sabbath song, I might add), a lovely surprise. How can a film this bloody be so bloody boring?

Rating: C