Review: American Heist

Dipshit criminal Adrien Brody gets out of the slammer and visits his estranged younger brother Hayden Christensen, a former con himself who is now living the straight life as a mechanic with dreams of opening up his own auto shop. Christensen is also in a tentative relationship with on-and-off girlfriend Jordana Brewster, who is a police dispatcher. He is absolutely, positively not happy to see his brother, who as I’ve already mentioned is a dipshit criminal who is the reason Christensen ended up in jail, albeit for a shorter stay than Brody. Eventually Christensen lightens up a bit, and then dipshit Brody introduces him to a couple of guys he met whilst in prison (Akon and Tory Kittles). Said guys and said dipshit Brody are planning a sure-fire bank robbery, and they pretty much coerce poor Christensen into aiding them as getaway driver, or else some harm will come to Brewster. Gee, do you think they’ll run into a few problems at the bank? You do? Here, have yourself a cookie.

 

Well-acted but mostly blah heist movie from 2015 by Armenian director Sarik Andreasyan (his first non-Armenian film) doesn’t offer up much in the way of surprises. It’s pretty hackneyed, but the heist itself is so well-directed, well-shot and exciting that you wish the rest of the story was worth a damn. Although screenwriter Raul Inglis (“Malicious”, “Jabberwock”) mostly brings nothing new to the table (the film is essentially a remake of “The Great St. Louis Bank Robbery”, with a youngish Steve McQueen, itself based on a true story), I must credit him with an unexpected and pretty ingenious story development late in the film. It has a slight loophole, admittedly, as at least one character should have a hard time accepting what happens, but so long as you don’t think about that, it’s pretty damn clever. The rest of the time, though, everything is so slow and clichéd. That’s a shame, because Adrien Brody is perfect as the scheming ex-con who isn’t quite as tough as he probably thinks he is (He clearly was not at the top of the animal kingdom in prison, that’s for sure and needed Akon and Kittles’ protection). He’s a wormy ne’er-do-well who you just know is gonna get himself into a world of trouble, and possibly his brother too. I mean, if you’re gonna do a bank job, it’s probably not wise to do it with some guys you met in prison. All three of you are clearly not good enough to get away with a crime, or else you wouldn’t have ended up in prison in the first place! He’s a hit-and-miss actor, but playing a pathetic dipshit ne’er-do-well is certainly within Adrien Brody’s wheelhouse as an actor.

 

Hayden Christensen is fine as the ex-con who has turned his life around but gets suckered back into criminality by his shifty older brother. Unlike another crime movie “Takers”, Christensen actually gets to do more in this one than wear a snazzy hat. The guy can act a bit, whether you’ll like to admit it or not (The under-seen “Shattered Glass” was enough proof for me). Rapper Akon and Tory Kittles are also fine as their completely untrustworthy criminal associates, though the latter has some dialogue that felt inorganic to his character for me. Jordana Brewster is as she always is, just OK and saddled with the least interesting role in the film yet again. That seems her lot in life, really, but this time she also plays a giant idiot. I know dispatchers are essentially the police equivalent of a switchboard operator, but still this girl is just horrendously clueless. Look fast for Christensen’s on-and-off romantic partner Rachel Bilson behind a head of hair and thick glasses in a cameo as a witness to the crime. That was a cute touch, I thought.

 

I usually like the build-up/planning of heist movies more than the carrying out of the heist, but here’s the one film where the reverse is true. The heist itself is exciting and well-done, aside from a few shockingly cheap-looking CGI explosives that expose the film’s low-budget nature. The rest of the film is slow, clichéd, and would be even worse if not for the fine work by Hayden Christensen and especially Adrien Brody. It’s an OK film, but only just.

 

Rating: C+