Review: Eraser

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Krueger, a Federal Marshal and Witness Relocation guy whose particular expertise is erasing all trace of the witness’ lives as he relocates them so they can eventually testify in court. He is assigned the task of protecting Lee (Vanessa Williams) a secretary with a top hi-tech weapons company who has proof of dodgy dealings between her company and foreign countries. Needless to say Krueger will have a tough task as some very bad people want Lee not just erased, but actually dead for realsies. Yes, I just used the non-word realsies in a review. I feel no shame. Actually, I do. I pride myself on my way with words, after this review I will quietly sit in the corner to wallow in shame. Or not. Anyway. James Caan plays Krueger’s superior, James Coburn plays the superior’s superior, James Cromwell plays Lee’s corrupt boss, Roma Maffia is Lee’s reporter friend, Robert Pastorelli plays a mob informant, Joe Viterelli is a mob boss, Patrick Kilpatrick and Nick Chinlund play rogue agents, John Slattery plays a federal agent, and Andy Romano plays the Undersecretary of Defence who is behind the criminal plot with a little help from someone on the inside.

 

When is a cheesy Schwarzenegger movie too cheesy? This 1996 Chuck Russell (director of the third and best “Elm St.” film and Jim Carrey’s successful “The Mask”) actioner pretty much serves as a shining example of how getting just a little too silly and over-the-top can prevent an otherwise fun film from quite hitting the mark. I won’t deny that this film has its positives (quite a few), but there’s just too many eye-rolling moments for me to wholeheartedly recommend it.

 

The biggest thing the film has going for it is the cast. Sure, some of the casting leads to a bit of predictability in the plot as scripted by Walon Green (“The Wild Bunch”, “RoboCop 2”) and Tony Puryear (his only notable film credit to date. Apparently John Milius, Frank Darabont, and William Wisher Jr. all contributed uncredited rewrites as well). However, there’s some fine work in here by a top line-up of names and faces who class this whole thing up a bit. Next to “True Lies” it’s probably the best cast Schwarzenegger has worked with thus far from an acting standpoint. Admittedly the late, great James Coburn is only around long enough to lend his presence and authoritative voice to proceedings, but most of the rest of the cast manage to leave a good impression. James Caan doesn’t stretch himself here, but he’s really good in a film that probably doesn’t deserve someone of his acting talent. Vanessa Williams is, I think, one of the better singer-actresses out there and in essentially the female lead she acquits herself just fine. In fact, she brings out the best in Schwarzenegger, whose best scenes are with her. It’s not Arnold’s finest acting hour, but Williams is able to bring out a softness in him and they make for a good pair when on screen together. James Cromwell, like Coburn only has a tiny role, but it’s colourful (and sinister) enough for him to at least leave somewhat of an impression after the film is over. Perhaps leaving the most favourable impression in the film is the late Robert Pastorelli in a somewhat comedic role of a likeable sleazeball Arnie manages to ‘erase’. He’s terrific, as is the late Joe Viterelli as an intimidating mobster. Solid work by character actor Andy Romano, too as the evil Undersecretary behind the film’s sinister plot. I was a little disappointed with veteran action movie goon Patrick Kilpatrick (whose best work to date is still The Sandman in “Death Warrant”) getting very small screen time and being pretty much neutered from having to get verbally pistol-whipped by an angry James Caan in his few fleeting moments. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, in 1996 John Slattery had grey hair instead of white. So there’s that.

 

By and large, acting is far from this film’s problem and one of its strengths. The chief strength of the film is the thumping, Basil “RoboCop” Poledouris-esque music score by Alan Silvestri (“Predator”, “Young Guns II”, “Forrest Gump”), one of his best to date. It’s also a good-looking movie, which is no surprise coming from a pro like Adam Greenberg (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”, “Near Dark”). It’s very, very slick-looking.

 

However, as I said the film just goes too far. It’s way too silly, and perhaps the more fantasy/cartoony-based Russell wasn’t the right fit for the film. Sure, being one of the most absurd action movies of all-time has some entertainment value to it but only up to a point. After a while, you start to wonder just how aware everyone is of the absurdity. It just doesn’t feel very self-aware to me, and when it is, it’s groan-inducing. Yeah, the crocodiles. Oh boy. Whoever thought this film needed CGI crocs and a trip to the zoo is an idiot. Not only are the FX pretty wonky by today’s standards, but Schwarzenegger’s ‘You’re luggage!’ is one of the worst one-liners in movie history. Just terrible. The film also has a skydiving scene that is more ridiculous than anything in “Point Break” and features poor blue screen work to boot. Also, I get that the film is about high-tech weaponry, but the weapons here are ridiculous times infinity, it takes you out of the supposed reality all too easily. It just wasn’t necessary for things to be this heightened. Take that stuff out of the film, a flawed, but better film. As is, it’s a little disappointing and a lot silly. You’ve also got predictability and a rather deflating finale to contend with.

 

It’s a near-miss I’m afraid, and it didn’t have to be. Some good performances, good cinematography and a kick-arse music score aren’t quite enough to make up for a whole lotta stupid. An overblown action movie that is never as entertaining as you’d like it to be. Hardly one of Arnie’s best films.

 

Rating: C+