Review: Loser Takes All

Glynis Johns and Rosanno Brazzi are set to be married, but accountant Brazzi’s boss Robert Morley insists they get married in Monte Carlo at the company’s expense, spending their honeymoon on his yacht. So they go there, only to find that Morley is a no show, and their funds quickly drying up. Brazzi getting bitten by the gambling bug definitely doesn’t help. Their relationship also starts to hit seriously stormy seas, resulting in Johns being wooed by charming gambler Tony Britton, and Brazzi contemplating flirting with Shirley Anne Field. Sir Felix Aylmer plays an MIA co-owner of the business, and Geoffrey Keen plays a hotel employee who constantly pesters the couple.

Surprisingly dull, uneventful 1956 romantic comedy from director Ken Annakin (“The Informers”, “Swiss Family Robinson”, “Third Man on the Mountain”) and screenwriter Graham Greene (“The Third Man”, “Our Man in Havana”), from his own novel. It’s the kind of film where you keep waiting for the real plot to turn up, but no, this is all they really have. I’m sorry, but it’s not even close to enough, not helped by a stiff Rosanno Brazzi (Greene apparently wanted Sir Alec Guinness for the part, who would’ve been much better), who shares little chemistry with Glynis Johns, who also isn’t having her best day. Johns has tons of personality, but I think the script gives her a character so annoyingly chatty that it chips away at her innate charm bit by bit. Brazzi is so dull and unappealing that you really would much prefer Johns to end up with the far more charming Tony Britton.

A last minute ‘twist’ feels horribly tacked on to reach a ‘right’ ending that feels so wrong, and the only one who comes away unscathed here is the always wonderful Robert Morley, who is sadly absent for much of the film. Geoffrey Keen, meanwhile, is given nothing to do beyond putting on a poor, indefinable accent.

A European holiday, a lightly bickering couple, a mostly absent Robert Morley, and some gambling. That’s it? Yes, I’m afraid that’s it. Playing like everyone was on a paid vacation, with the script seemingly written at the last minute, this is woefully underdone, charmless, miscalculated, and unfunny. What was everyone involved thinking? Oh well, you certainly can’t lay blame at the feet of Robert Morley or Sir Felix Aylmer. They do their best with scant opportunity. It’s no wonder that no one remembers this flimsy fluff. Awfully scenic, but so what?

Rating: D+